(no subject)
In Jackson Minnesota, not a bad day. Two shows and an out. Things so far are going well. I am tired a lot though and even in my spare time I am not feeling motivated to do the thinking and planning I had wanted to in regards to my future and a potential business. And even just making money on the side , I forgot how tiring tour can be even on the down time, because you need to recoop. Stay Healthy, Stay Happy, Stay Sexy, Stay warm, my mantra, thanks to Mark.
I just finished watching top chef masters and it inspired me to look back at my life and see what led me to this point. They had to make a meal from four parts of their life: Their first food memory, what made them want to be a chef, when they opened their first restaurant and where they are now and where they are going.
Here I am a sound engineer on the road and it wasn’t by accident that I got here. I remember as a small child always pretending I was in some facet of the entertainment business. Whether it was playing basketball with the Harlem Globetrotters, to touring around the country in an RV with JB, to being one of the Go-Gos to being in Seaquest and other shows and movies like The MMC and Three Ninjas, those were elaborate fantasies that would last months and years and I would at times fully embrace being in one. I miss those days, it was joyful to be able to so easily take myself out of my “real world” and go somewhere else. I think a lot of those childhood fantasies are inspired by hope and the thought that anything is possible.
Then we get older and we realize there are rules and limitations to one’s abilities and slowly the fantasy’s stop. I took some acting classes when I was a teen and participated in a couple musicals and quickly learned that I was not meant to be on stage or on camera, I did not have what it took, I didn’t have the right look either. I did enjoy being on the stage as an ensemble though, with the band and orchestra, those were my little moments to shine. So I took another route when college came around, I decided to major in television production and a year or two later picked up a theater minor. I didn’t retain much from the college degree but it led me to NYC and an internship at MTV which proved to me that television was too much work, too much sitting around perfecting things, I wanted something more raw, and took off into theater. This was of course also fueled by my want and NEED to travel, I had gone to Italy with my BFF in college and never forgot that first abroad trip and how amazing it was, I vowed to go back to europe and see it all. Theater let me do that and so much more.
Sound was a bonus that came as I progressed through theater. I started in management and backstage crew, and did some carpentry and the props, and then because I wanted to have more responsibilities on the ships I faked that I knew sound enough to be promoted, (I didn’t) but somehow I tricked the right person and lo and behold I was promoted. I fumbled a lot and made a lot of mistakes, but somehow I kept faking it til I made it, that now I feel so comfortable with sound that I feel I’ve done a job very well done. The key to faking it til you make it is to really make it, PAY ATTENTION to what is going on around you, and learn from your mistakes and pick up every little thing you can from people in the business that already know it all. You have to have the right kind of mindset and learning skills, and I guess I did.
Entertainment is what was and has been my passion for so long, since I can really remember. First I was drawn in by the fame of it all but nowadays I get a kick out of joy it can bring to people. I see really old people out in the audience finding joy in a work of art that I can be a part of. It’s a great feeling. I also get to meet so many different kinds of people and there are SO many different kinds of people , and there are always those moments in which you can’t believe this is you and this is your life , it is so good.
So here I am, I haven’t addressed my future because I don’t know my future. My directions are changing, but I do wonder if I can let go of this passion of mine to pursue other things. It seems to me the want for a family and stability do not go hand in hand with the nomad theater technician life and this poses a problem, a sacrifice. One which I am almost sure I can make, but I know the pangs of loss will come at times, unless there is a way to incorporate the two somehow
I just finished watching top chef masters and it inspired me to look back at my life and see what led me to this point. They had to make a meal from four parts of their life: Their first food memory, what made them want to be a chef, when they opened their first restaurant and where they are now and where they are going.
Here I am a sound engineer on the road and it wasn’t by accident that I got here. I remember as a small child always pretending I was in some facet of the entertainment business. Whether it was playing basketball with the Harlem Globetrotters, to touring around the country in an RV with JB, to being one of the Go-Gos to being in Seaquest and other shows and movies like The MMC and Three Ninjas, those were elaborate fantasies that would last months and years and I would at times fully embrace being in one. I miss those days, it was joyful to be able to so easily take myself out of my “real world” and go somewhere else. I think a lot of those childhood fantasies are inspired by hope and the thought that anything is possible.
Then we get older and we realize there are rules and limitations to one’s abilities and slowly the fantasy’s stop. I took some acting classes when I was a teen and participated in a couple musicals and quickly learned that I was not meant to be on stage or on camera, I did not have what it took, I didn’t have the right look either. I did enjoy being on the stage as an ensemble though, with the band and orchestra, those were my little moments to shine. So I took another route when college came around, I decided to major in television production and a year or two later picked up a theater minor. I didn’t retain much from the college degree but it led me to NYC and an internship at MTV which proved to me that television was too much work, too much sitting around perfecting things, I wanted something more raw, and took off into theater. This was of course also fueled by my want and NEED to travel, I had gone to Italy with my BFF in college and never forgot that first abroad trip and how amazing it was, I vowed to go back to europe and see it all. Theater let me do that and so much more.
Sound was a bonus that came as I progressed through theater. I started in management and backstage crew, and did some carpentry and the props, and then because I wanted to have more responsibilities on the ships I faked that I knew sound enough to be promoted, (I didn’t) but somehow I tricked the right person and lo and behold I was promoted. I fumbled a lot and made a lot of mistakes, but somehow I kept faking it til I made it, that now I feel so comfortable with sound that I feel I’ve done a job very well done. The key to faking it til you make it is to really make it, PAY ATTENTION to what is going on around you, and learn from your mistakes and pick up every little thing you can from people in the business that already know it all. You have to have the right kind of mindset and learning skills, and I guess I did.
Entertainment is what was and has been my passion for so long, since I can really remember. First I was drawn in by the fame of it all but nowadays I get a kick out of joy it can bring to people. I see really old people out in the audience finding joy in a work of art that I can be a part of. It’s a great feeling. I also get to meet so many different kinds of people and there are SO many different kinds of people , and there are always those moments in which you can’t believe this is you and this is your life , it is so good.
So here I am, I haven’t addressed my future because I don’t know my future. My directions are changing, but I do wonder if I can let go of this passion of mine to pursue other things. It seems to me the want for a family and stability do not go hand in hand with the nomad theater technician life and this poses a problem, a sacrifice. One which I am almost sure I can make, but I know the pangs of loss will come at times, unless there is a way to incorporate the two somehow