(no subject)
Feeling very frustrated tonight. So bored these days, sitting down in dearborn, mi and seeing the show twice a day every day is blah... Frustatrated at Mik and others.. but it's mostly me causing these problems.... in my own head... i stopped taking the pill to see if the pressure and anxiety would stop, but it hasn't. It is still there... and the damn lump in my throat, and my lungs hurt and I am tired all the time, and now I am constipated.. Seriously what do I have to do to feel normal again? I want to know what is going on here. I CANNOT relax, I don't understand it.
I do yoga sometimes, and it evokes this sense of awkwardness and insecurity in me, the kind of feeling i used to get ALOT as a teenager, and it is not fun. Makes me feel unworthy and scared, and akward and ugly and useless.. it's one of the worst emotions i have ever felt, and i don't feel it very often, but I remember having it a lot as a teen and when I do yoga I feel it. Is that weird?
Perhaps this tension and stress and things are being held inside me somewhere and the yoga releases it, but by releasing it it sure doesn't make me feel any better.
I just feel this pressure in my head almost at all times, and it restricts me from just letting go and enjoying things. Throughout the course of the summer I have tried to remedy this via different things, and yet nothing has prevailed... I do need a vacation ... I've practically been going non stop since febuary, i need some time to not worry about what I am doing, where I am at, who i am with, etc... just to wake up and not think. November.
I do yoga sometimes, and it evokes this sense of awkwardness and insecurity in me, the kind of feeling i used to get ALOT as a teenager, and it is not fun. Makes me feel unworthy and scared, and akward and ugly and useless.. it's one of the worst emotions i have ever felt, and i don't feel it very often, but I remember having it a lot as a teen and when I do yoga I feel it. Is that weird?
Perhaps this tension and stress and things are being held inside me somewhere and the yoga releases it, but by releasing it it sure doesn't make me feel any better.
I just feel this pressure in my head almost at all times, and it restricts me from just letting go and enjoying things. Throughout the course of the summer I have tried to remedy this via different things, and yet nothing has prevailed... I do need a vacation ... I've practically been going non stop since febuary, i need some time to not worry about what I am doing, where I am at, who i am with, etc... just to wake up and not think. November.