Dethklok (with visual aids)
WOW!!!
now let me tell you tonight was MY WOODSTOCK!!!!!
Dethklok was AMAZING!!!
I leave around 4 and try to just show up and hang out early. I walk around St. Pete for a bit and at about 5:30 i head to the concert site. Wait.......Deamon's landing? I thought this was Janus landing? Well, about 20 minutes later i realize, "OH YEH, Janus isn't an actual landing. lol. It's a club!"
I head that way and HARK! tons of people in black. I know I've found the right place.
This girl walks up to me after about 20 minutes and gives me a high five. "Hey! so...............can I lick your pants?"
"um....................knock yourself out."
You see, my pants are a lovely bright green.
Her firends come over and $20 is exchanged. She won the bet. We talk for a bit. I head to the line. It's around the corner. At about 7:20 (after the show was supposed to begin even!) we finally go in. Nice place. At 8, Soylent Green goes on. nothing special. And I soon realize....I am the important person in the crowd, because EVERYONE and I don't joke, every LAST person who maneuvered through the crowd, either on the x or y axis, decided I was the 0,0 marker and passed right in front of me. The band leaves, I kinda stand there for a while during Chimaira's sound check, and I spot a handful of FUCKING HOT girls. Now, I'm usually really modest with my opinion in this area. Usually my radar spikes at: okay, or good looking. maybe up to attractive, or to my favorite position "Fucking cute/adorable". And these 5 random girls just SCREAMED hotness! I guess I just have a soft spot for Punk girls. *actually there's nothing soft about it. But I digress*
(that story pans out later. they always do)
Chimaira. Better than Soylent Green. Something I would have LOVED about 2 years ago. I go to get a drink. The bar girl asks me "Bryant? Holy shit! I haven't seen you in a while!" See it was the sister fo a friend from scouts. Back in the day we went on a date. only I didn't know it was a "date" I thought we were hanging out. And I liked her too, but the snowball effect is a killer. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYWAY.
She tosses me a jaggerbomb instead of my water. Knowing I'm under age AND a BIG jagger fan. She's still cool. I hope we start hanging out again.
So I'm buzzed, only one song into the hour long set and I make my way through the crowd. There's moshing, and people passing. Passing me, and always me. And I notice the guy next to me is kinda wiggling and shit, and getting his arm sweat on me. He's rubbing his arms like a freak.....but then I spot why....he has.....small bits of paper in his hands. Wait......no it IS!!! He's rubbing sheet acid into his arms.....AND GETTING IT ALL OVER ME!!!!!!!
He spots me looking and says "It's OK! I'm a SHAMAN! i know what i'm doing!" Needless to say, Chimaira became an AWESOME band!!! holy shit!
They leave, it's 9:45, Dethklok is almost an hour late. They swap gear and they're out in no time. people rush forward, again criss-crossing with me EXACTLY in the middle, and quickly people can't pass me anymore. The gaps have been filled. And suddenly my slow, LSD-feuled brain realises what has happened. All five girls from before.....have formed a cocoon around me!!! OH BOY!!!! And someone grabbed my ass. I think they were aiming for the girls though. Pervs. And some guy next to me kept laughing. A lot.
Dethklok comes on, and everyone pulls out their hidden stash. Now i'm taking in several second-hand blunt-hits. I......AM.....SO.......HIGH!!!!!
Mosh pits open up, and one knocks one of the girls back hard enough she starts going to the ground. In St. Pete....hitting the ground OUTSIDE the mosh pit usually results in a trip to the hospital, BUT I fucking swooped in, and dropped to my knee and caught her. It was badass! Like that part in Spiderman! And to tp it off....she was like "nice catch." and gave me a little peck on the lips. HOLY SHIT! hardcore porn in the Rennaisance, but nothing really. the crazy mob quickly forced me to the back. Away from my sexy cocoon and the girl I will now reffer to as "Mary Jane".
The crowd in back was very calm. And I could just tripp balls watching the videos and listening to the music. The set ends....encore ensues. Brendan "Nathan" gave a nice speach about how humid we are, and how St. Pete is actually the birthplace of death metal, even though it didn't really gain it's fame here. And then they played Thunderhorse. Then they did a few more, i think he said to make up for 50 "only semi-metal" minutes we had to wait extra to see them. i was high, don't quote me. After "Kill You" *which was obviously on the spot, being the only one they didn't have a video for* Pickles threw his pick. Which was lost in the crowd.
THEN "hey, we've got a couple buddies from Cannibal Corpse in the house tonight. So we can either do one more song.....or we can all go home. So I then got to see a Dethklok/Cannibal Corpse duette version of "Go into the water". At the end they freestyled a guitar solo. And I was PEAKING MAN!!!! I felt like my soul left my body, and I was above the crowd. And then, the final "crash" of the song, it vaded, the crowd went up, and i felt like i just caught fire, but in an awesome "I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE!" kind of way.
People started leaving. They through out the drumsticks. And a hanful of simple black Dethklok picks.
As I shuffle out, I look down and spot a pic, woopie! Only it isn't black. It's Purple. and kinda big. One side said Dethklok alright, the other......"Pickles" Sweet! I found it!!!!!
I can't hear shit. I'm tripping my ass off. What now? STARBUCKS!!! I get an iced tea. I make my way out.......MARY JANE!!! Holy shit! Obviously I wasn't the only one high by that point and nothing we said made sense. Mostly because we couldn't hear it. I left. went to the car. listened to the radio for about 30 minutes. then left. I had forgotten Mary Jane's name and whatever other info I cold have used to find her on Facebook like I said I would. :( thus is my life.
BUT she WILL be going to MAYHEM Fest. If i get the Crack Barrel job, so will I. And i'll be wearing the pants. Maybe we'll find each other again.
now let me tell you tonight was MY WOODSTOCK!!!!!
Dethklok was AMAZING!!!
I leave around 4 and try to just show up and hang out early. I walk around St. Pete for a bit and at about 5:30 i head to the concert site. Wait.......Deamon's landing? I thought this was Janus landing? Well, about 20 minutes later i realize, "OH YEH, Janus isn't an actual landing. lol. It's a club!"
I head that way and HARK! tons of people in black. I know I've found the right place.
This girl walks up to me after about 20 minutes and gives me a high five. "Hey! so...............can I lick your pants?"
"um....................knock yourself out."
You see, my pants are a lovely bright green.
Her firends come over and $20 is exchanged. She won the bet. We talk for a bit. I head to the line. It's around the corner. At about 7:20 (after the show was supposed to begin even!) we finally go in. Nice place. At 8, Soylent Green goes on. nothing special. And I soon realize....I am the important person in the crowd, because EVERYONE and I don't joke, every LAST person who maneuvered through the crowd, either on the x or y axis, decided I was the 0,0 marker and passed right in front of me. The band leaves, I kinda stand there for a while during Chimaira's sound check, and I spot a handful of FUCKING HOT girls. Now, I'm usually really modest with my opinion in this area. Usually my radar spikes at: okay, or good looking. maybe up to attractive, or to my favorite position "Fucking cute/adorable". And these 5 random girls just SCREAMED hotness! I guess I just have a soft spot for Punk girls. *actually there's nothing soft about it. But I digress*
(that story pans out later. they always do)
Chimaira. Better than Soylent Green. Something I would have LOVED about 2 years ago. I go to get a drink. The bar girl asks me "Bryant? Holy shit! I haven't seen you in a while!" See it was the sister fo a friend from scouts. Back in the day we went on a date. only I didn't know it was a "date" I thought we were hanging out. And I liked her too, but the snowball effect is a killer. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYWAY.
She tosses me a jaggerbomb instead of my water. Knowing I'm under age AND a BIG jagger fan. She's still cool. I hope we start hanging out again.
So I'm buzzed, only one song into the hour long set and I make my way through the crowd. There's moshing, and people passing. Passing me, and always me. And I notice the guy next to me is kinda wiggling and shit, and getting his arm sweat on me. He's rubbing his arms like a freak.....but then I spot why....he has.....small bits of paper in his hands. Wait......no it IS!!! He's rubbing sheet acid into his arms.....AND GETTING IT ALL OVER ME!!!!!!!
He spots me looking and says "It's OK! I'm a SHAMAN! i know what i'm doing!" Needless to say, Chimaira became an AWESOME band!!! holy shit!
They leave, it's 9:45, Dethklok is almost an hour late. They swap gear and they're out in no time. people rush forward, again criss-crossing with me EXACTLY in the middle, and quickly people can't pass me anymore. The gaps have been filled. And suddenly my slow, LSD-feuled brain realises what has happened. All five girls from before.....have formed a cocoon around me!!! OH BOY!!!! And someone grabbed my ass. I think they were aiming for the girls though. Pervs. And some guy next to me kept laughing. A lot.
Dethklok comes on, and everyone pulls out their hidden stash. Now i'm taking in several second-hand blunt-hits. I......AM.....SO.......HIGH!!!!!
Mosh pits open up, and one knocks one of the girls back hard enough she starts going to the ground. In St. Pete....hitting the ground OUTSIDE the mosh pit usually results in a trip to the hospital, BUT I fucking swooped in, and dropped to my knee and caught her. It was badass! Like that part in Spiderman! And to tp it off....she was like "nice catch." and gave me a little peck on the lips. HOLY SHIT! hardcore porn in the Rennaisance, but nothing really. the crazy mob quickly forced me to the back. Away from my sexy cocoon and the girl I will now reffer to as "Mary Jane".
The crowd in back was very calm. And I could just tripp balls watching the videos and listening to the music. The set ends....encore ensues. Brendan "Nathan" gave a nice speach about how humid we are, and how St. Pete is actually the birthplace of death metal, even though it didn't really gain it's fame here. And then they played Thunderhorse. Then they did a few more, i think he said to make up for 50 "only semi-metal" minutes we had to wait extra to see them. i was high, don't quote me. After "Kill You" *which was obviously on the spot, being the only one they didn't have a video for* Pickles threw his pick. Which was lost in the crowd.
THEN "hey, we've got a couple buddies from Cannibal Corpse in the house tonight. So we can either do one more song.....or we can all go home. So I then got to see a Dethklok/Cannibal Corpse duette version of "Go into the water". At the end they freestyled a guitar solo. And I was PEAKING MAN!!!! I felt like my soul left my body, and I was above the crowd. And then, the final "crash" of the song, it vaded, the crowd went up, and i felt like i just caught fire, but in an awesome "I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE!" kind of way.
People started leaving. They through out the drumsticks. And a hanful of simple black Dethklok picks.
As I shuffle out, I look down and spot a pic, woopie! Only it isn't black. It's Purple. and kinda big. One side said Dethklok alright, the other......"Pickles" Sweet! I found it!!!!!
I can't hear shit. I'm tripping my ass off. What now? STARBUCKS!!! I get an iced tea. I make my way out.......MARY JANE!!! Holy shit! Obviously I wasn't the only one high by that point and nothing we said made sense. Mostly because we couldn't hear it. I left. went to the car. listened to the radio for about 30 minutes. then left. I had forgotten Mary Jane's name and whatever other info I cold have used to find her on Facebook like I said I would. :( thus is my life.
BUT she WILL be going to MAYHEM Fest. If i get the Crack Barrel job, so will I. And i'll be wearing the pants. Maybe we'll find each other again.