"I'm Here Seeking Only What I Need", "Fear Will Be Undone", and "Pride"
Author: patientalien
Title: I'm Here Seeking Only What I Need
Challenge: SWMININANO2
Prompt: Eopie
Word Count: 211
Characters: Obi-Wan, Anakin (mentioned)
Rating: PG
Summary: Obi-Wan goes into the desert
Author's Notes: Title/cut-text from "Airport Song" by Guster
-----
The desert was brutal, unforgiving. It was beautiful and terrible and sucked you in with promises of glory and exotic excitement. It was Anakin, if he were a planet. Beautiful and abrasive and deadly. Obi-Wan tried not to dwell on the similarities, even as he rode his eopie across the Dune Sea, whipped by winds that felt like Anakin's angry words, Anakin's son nestled in his arms, shielded from the sun and sand by Obi-Wan's robes.
Nothing grew in the Dune Sea. It was a barren wasteland, unyielding and oh-so-seductive. The twin suns were blinding, glorious in their power. Obi-Wan pushed the thought out of his mind. Everything here reminded him of Anakin, though he suspected he would feel the same on any planet. That he is here, in the crucible that forged the man, is simply an unhappy twist of fate. A twist of the knife.
He almost didn't want to give Luke up when Beru met him to claim the child. Didn't want to lose what was left of Anakin, but he knew he would not do the boy justice. He'd failed raising one desert boy, he would not fail two.
He turned back, empty-handed, climbed back onto the beast of burden and left to form a new life.
Author: patientalien
Title: Fear Will Be Undone
Challenge: SWMININANO2
Prompt: death sticks
Word Count: 2221
Characters: Anakin, Obi-Wan, Luminara
Rating: R
Summary: Anakin and Obi-Wan and an undercover mission. Also, drugs.
Author's Notes: I started something similar several years ago on capslock_cw. I really loved the idea, and wanted to do something not, uh, crack-fic with it. Title/cut text from "Getting Even" by Guster
------
Obi-Wan Kenobi hadn't liked the idea from the start. There was too much risk involved, too much at stake. Besides, he and Anakin were not the best at undercover work. He'd suggested Quinlan Vos, or even Garen Muln, to the Council, but it had already been decided. Two Jedi, and Anakin and Obi-Wan were the best on the battlefield, so surely they would be the best at this too. Obi-Wan couldn't help but think that Anakin was a little too good at this.
"We need to make it convincing," Anakin said, fingering the brightly-colored vial. "Do you have a better idea?"
Obi-Wan ran a hand over his beard. He had plenty of better ideas, but they all involved neither of them taking part in this mission. "Careful," he said, finally. "Just be careful."
Anakin dumped the contents of the vial into his drink. "You know me, Master," he said with a lopsided grin, hoisting the glass in a toast.
"Why do you think I told you to be careful?"
Anakin drank down the contents of the glass, and Obi-Wan held his breath. Anakin shuddered, wrinkling his nose and coughing slightly. "Not the best tasting stuff in the galaxy," he commented. "How long is this supposed to..." He trailed off, blinked. "Oh."
"Well?" Obi-Wan prompted, watching Anakin closely. The younger man's pupils suddenly dilated, his breathing slowed. Anakin sank back on the threadbare sofa and ran his left hand over the unholstery.
Anakin swallowed heavily, looked up at Obi-Wan. "Well," he echoed. "They were right about the Force. It's very... uh, huh." He blinked again. "Huh."
Obi-Wan approached him carefully, like Anakin was a wild animal. "Are you okay?"
A bright grin split Anakin's face. He was practically glowing in delight. "I am great," he replied. "The Force is, it's still there but it's... Master, I can hear my own thoughts and it's so quiet!" He tilted his head back, laughed. "I feel wonderful."
Obi-Wan shifted uncomfortably. "Don't get used to it," he said, sharply. This was a terrible idea, from start to finish. "Come on," he said, holding out a hand. "Let's go meet our contact."
-----
Meeting their contact, Anakin played his part well. Already dazed by the initial dose, he added to that a certain twitchiness, jumping at shadows. Obi-Wan wasn't sure how much of that was an act or how much of it was Anakin experiencing the brightly-colored garish hallucinations that were part and parcel of death stick use.
Their contact knew they were Jedi, but pretended not to, acting as though they were just customers, just simple folks needing something he could provide. "We heard you got other stuff," Anakin said, effortlessly taking on an Outer Rim cadance. "Can you help us?"
"Can you pay for it?" the contact responded, pulling a vial out of his pocket. Anakin reached for it, but the contact pulled it away. "Let me bring you to Olek," he offered; their Separatist target. "He's got something that'll make you feel real good."
Anakin and Obi-Wan exchanged glances, and Obi-Wan hoped they would be able to end the mission quickly, get the proof they needed that the Separatists were working on some kind of biochem warfare, something to keep populations docile, get Olek under arrest, get back home. "Take us to him," Obi-Wan said.
The contact - Leeds, he said his name was - led them down a long, dark corridor to a bank of lifts. Hitting the button for the top floor, they rode the lift in silence. Anakin was trembling slightly, darting his eyes around, breathing hard. He jumped when Obi-Wan put a hand on his shoulder, but quickly relaxed as they exited the lift into an oppulant suite, very different from the stinking sludge of the floors below.
"Do you live here?" Olek was a Klatooinian, with a wide, leathery face and small dark eyes. At the sight of him, Anakin started, backing up into Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan cleared his throat. "Uh, yes," he replied, pushing the Core out of his accent, emulating the same speech Anakin had adopted. "Yeah. Newly. Leeds said you're the guy to talk to."
"I need something," Anakin offered. "Leeds said you'd help me."
Olek made a sharp barking noise, and gestured to Anakin. "Come here boy," he ordered. Anakin blinked, and did as he was told, taking hesitant steps towards the slythmonger. "Pretty," Olek said, decisively. "You haven't been using long, have you?"
Anakin shook his head, eyes wide, playing his part. "Nuh uh," he agreed.
"What I've got you might not be able to handle," Olek commented, reaching out and gripping Anakin's check between meaty thumb and forefinger. "You planning on staying a while?" He reached behind him and returned with a handful of bright vials. He pressed them into Anakin's hand. "I never like to see a pretty young thing go wanting." He gestured to one of the twi'lek girls perched around the room. She sauntered over, took Anakin by the elbow, led him to a nest of pillows. Obi-Wan tried to keep Anakin in sight, but the twi'lek girl was blocking his view, and Olek was speaking to him. "And you? Is he yours?"
Obi-Wan cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Not as such," he replied, realizing suddenly that Olek's attraction to Anakin, while dangerous, would likely be their key to successful completion of the mission. He was sure Anakin had come to the same conclusion. Still, it didn't feel quite right.
"Come back when you need more," Olek said as Anakin stood, shakily, using the twi'lek girl's shoulder for support. "Anytime."
Anakin nodded, dumbly, moving unsteadily back towards Obi-Wan. "'Kay..." He ran his hands up and down Obi-Wan's tunic. "Go now," he said. "We'll come back."
-----
"If you don't want to do this, just say so," Obi-Wan said, back in their temporary apartment several levels down from Olek's penthouse.
Anakin licked his lips and took a deep breath. The drug was waning, and he looked tired. "He's got it, Master," he said, with certainty. "If I can get close to him, I'll be able to get a sample, we'll be able to figure out what they're planning. We can bring him to justice." He clenched his mechanical fist.
"Just how close are you willing to get?" Obi-Wan ventured, frowning as Anakin set the vials on the table in front of the couch, clumsily hovering one with the Force. "Well, at least you can still do that much," he sighed.
"It's not too bad," Anakin replied. "I can still feel the Force. I know I can still control it, it's just not as strong as it usually is." He gave a slight smile. "Maybe that's a good thing."
"It's not," Obi-Wan snapped. "Never take your gifts for granted, Anakin."
Anakin shrugged, lifting two more of the vials with invisible fingers, juggling them in midair in front of him. "I'm not," he said. "And don't worry, this isn't exactly something I want to be doing in the long-term."
"Hmm."
"I'll go back tomorrow," Anakin said, rising from the sofa and going into the kitchen, returning a moment later with a glass of something brown. "This'll be over within a week."
Obi-Wan frowned, doubtful, as Anakin dumped another vial into his drink. "Be careful. Do you want me to come with you?"
Anakin shrugged again, swallowing his drink. "Up to you," he replied. "It might be easier if I go in alone."
The thought sent chills down Obi-Wan's spine. "I have a bad feeling about this."
"I don't," Anakin responded as his pupils widened and he sank into drug-induced joy.
-----
Obi-Wan was not prone to pacing, as a general rule. But, as with most of his rules, when Anakin was involved, things had a way of coming apart. Anakin had been gone for hours, now, and Obi-Wan was tempted to take the lift to find him, but he didn't want to compromise the mission, didn't want to make things possibly even more dangerous.
When Anakin returned, Obi-Wan wished he had just gone with him. His tunic was sliding off one shoulder, and there were hand-shaped bruises marring the bare flesh. He smelled of sex and whiskey and the tangy musk of burnt death sticks. "Are you alright?"
Anakin gave him a dazed smile. "More'n alright," he slurred, crossing the space between them languidly, sensually. He ran his hands through Obi-Wan's hair, down his beard. "F'I go back 'gain... there's, he's got a disc, a disc with th' info, e'rything we're lookin' for." He sagged against Obi-Wan's chest, grinning. "I can dis'ract 'im, grab th' disc, s'all good."
Obi-Wan grabbed Anakin's shoulders to keep him upright. "I'll get the disc," he said firmly. "Where is it?" Anakin's head lolled and he made a gurgling noise as he slid out of Obi-Wan's grip to his knees. "Anakin?"
Anakin pitched forward, his head hitting Obi-Wan's knees. He giggled, wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan's legs, shoulders shaking in chemically-enhanced mirth. It was unsettling to see Anakin like this; usually the young man craved control. Seeing him so far out of control was frightening. Anakin climbed to his feet, arms draped over Obi-Wan's shoulders, swaying them both from side to side. "It'll be over soon," Anakin said into his ear, and fell asleep on his shoulder.
-----
Obi-Wan called for backup, to be ready with an extraction team at his signal. He wanted to be the one to get the information, wanted to keep Anakin out of harms' way. He knew, though, that Olek did not trust him. Anakin had opened himself up, made himself vulnerable for the sake of the mission, and Anakin would have to be the one to finish it. Obi-Wan just hoped when Anakin got up there, he'd remember what he was there for.
An unsteady knock on the door sprang Obi-Wan into immediate action, but when the door slid open, he found Anakin on his hands and knees, stripped to the waist. "Anakin!"
Anakin fumbled with his belt, pulled a disc from one of the pouches, handed it to Obi-Wan wordlessly. Obi-Wan grabbed it and dragged Anakin into the apartment, cursing his decision to remain behind. "Anakin, talk to me," he demanded.
"Shot me up," Anakin moaned. "Wha's on th' disc... s'in me, s'what they're gonna..." He knelt, forehead pressed against the floor. His body shuddered. "Too much," he gasped. "S'too much. I was stupid, oh... Mas'er..."
Obi-Wan pressed the button on his comlink to summon the extraction team, transmitting the location of Olek so they could swoop in for the arrest. "It's okay," he told Anakin, kneeling beside him, rubbing his back. "He gave you what they're planning to use?"
Anakin nodded miserably, rising to an upright position, head tilted back. "Feels like dyin'," Anakin breathed. "I think I'm dead." He fell forward again, rolled onto his side, retching onto the floor, breathing harsh, labored.
"You're not dead," Obi-Wan replied. "And you're not dying." Except he didn't know that. He had no idea what was currently coursing through Anakin's veins, making his lips blue, his face pale. "We'll be going home soon, it will be fine."
"Force's gone," Anakin gasped, breathing becoming more urgent, more raspy. "Gone, gone, gone... I'm gone. I'll be gone. Master."
Obi-Wan gathered Anakin into his lap, summoning the Force to send healing pulses through their tattered bond. He stayed like that, legs cramping, fear threatening to overshadow his deeply ingrained training. The door exploded inward, he bent to shield Anakin from the debris.
"Haja! Obi-Wan!" He looked up, saw Luminara Unduli in the doorway, flanked by a pair of Clones. She rushed to them, kneeling, running her hands over Anakin. "Is this...?"
Obi-Wan nodded. "Intravenous, from what I've gathered," he replied as Luminara and the Clones began to assess Anakin's condition.
"We've secured the building," Luminara said as she worked. "Olek's in custody. You both did well." Beneath her hands, Anakin moaned. "Relax," she said to him, putting a push of the Force behind the word. He did, sagging against Obi-Wan. "Can you walk?"
Anakin stirred. "Maybe," he gasped, struggled to pull himself upright. Obi-Wan rose, helping Anakin to his feet, unsteady.
It took some time, and many stops for Anakin to catch his breath, but they made it back to Luminara's ship. Anakin was ushered immediately into the medical bay, Obi-Wan trailing behind, not sure what else to do.
"This is my fault," he told Luminara as she injected Anakin with a detoxifying agent. His color improved almost immediately, the shaking subsiding.
"You're as bad as he is," Luminara replied, gesturing towards Anakin. "It wasn't your fault, Obi-Wan. Anakin made his own decisions, your mission succeeded, and Anakin will be fine in time."
Obi-Wan sighed. He knew, logically, that Luminara was correct. "Thank you, my friend," he said instead of arguing with her. She nodded, and left them alone.
Anakin slitted open his eyes. "Hey, Master," he greeted. "Think I'll get a vacation out of this?"
"If a week in the Halls of Healing counts, then, yes," Obi-Wan countered. "What you did was foolish, Anakin."
Anakin gave him a dour look. "And saved countless lives," he pointed out.
Obi-Wan sighed. "Just another day in the life of Anakin Skywalker, then?" he asked, and Anakin laughed.
"Of course, Master," he said, smiling. Obi-Wan gave in, and smiled too.
Author: patientalien
Title: Pride
Challenge: SWMININANO2
Prompt: humiliation
Word Count: 237
Characters: Anakin
Rating: PG
Summary: Immediately post-Geonosis
-----
Pain.
Not just his arm, but oh that hurts like nothing he's ever felt before. Not just his skin, prickling still with electricity. Not just the myriad scrapes and scratches and bruises from the Arena.
No, the physical pain is nothing. He can overcome that. He feels the pain, so sharply, so intimately. The pain is like a familiar lover, like a dear friend. He can live with the pain.
He opens his eyes, looks down at the ruins of his arm. Nothing left below the elbow, and his breath hitches. It is not the loss of his arm. He can learn to wield a mechno just as easily.
It is not the pain, or the loss, that makes him want to curl up under the covers of his medbay cot and never emerge. No, it is the burning, aching humiliation of being bested. Of making a choice that turned out to be so very, very wrong. All of his boasting, all of his arrogance, ripped to shreds and what is left. An orphan. A slave child. A scared little boy who saw too many people die today. Certainly not the fierce warrior-Jedi he has been trying so hard to be. He can feel the flush of embarrassment as he looks down at the stump of a limb, can feel the deep, aching loss. Loss of limb. Loss of pride.
It's the latter that hurts the most.
Title: I'm Here Seeking Only What I Need
Challenge: SWMININANO2
Prompt: Eopie
Word Count: 211
Characters: Obi-Wan, Anakin (mentioned)
Rating: PG
Summary: Obi-Wan goes into the desert
Author's Notes: Title/cut-text from "Airport Song" by Guster
-----
The desert was brutal, unforgiving. It was beautiful and terrible and sucked you in with promises of glory and exotic excitement. It was Anakin, if he were a planet. Beautiful and abrasive and deadly. Obi-Wan tried not to dwell on the similarities, even as he rode his eopie across the Dune Sea, whipped by winds that felt like Anakin's angry words, Anakin's son nestled in his arms, shielded from the sun and sand by Obi-Wan's robes.
Nothing grew in the Dune Sea. It was a barren wasteland, unyielding and oh-so-seductive. The twin suns were blinding, glorious in their power. Obi-Wan pushed the thought out of his mind. Everything here reminded him of Anakin, though he suspected he would feel the same on any planet. That he is here, in the crucible that forged the man, is simply an unhappy twist of fate. A twist of the knife.
He almost didn't want to give Luke up when Beru met him to claim the child. Didn't want to lose what was left of Anakin, but he knew he would not do the boy justice. He'd failed raising one desert boy, he would not fail two.
He turned back, empty-handed, climbed back onto the beast of burden and left to form a new life.
Author: patientalien
Title: Fear Will Be Undone
Challenge: SWMININANO2
Prompt: death sticks
Word Count: 2221
Characters: Anakin, Obi-Wan, Luminara
Rating: R
Summary: Anakin and Obi-Wan and an undercover mission. Also, drugs.
Author's Notes: I started something similar several years ago on capslock_cw. I really loved the idea, and wanted to do something not, uh, crack-fic with it. Title/cut text from "Getting Even" by Guster
------
Obi-Wan Kenobi hadn't liked the idea from the start. There was too much risk involved, too much at stake. Besides, he and Anakin were not the best at undercover work. He'd suggested Quinlan Vos, or even Garen Muln, to the Council, but it had already been decided. Two Jedi, and Anakin and Obi-Wan were the best on the battlefield, so surely they would be the best at this too. Obi-Wan couldn't help but think that Anakin was a little too good at this.
"We need to make it convincing," Anakin said, fingering the brightly-colored vial. "Do you have a better idea?"
Obi-Wan ran a hand over his beard. He had plenty of better ideas, but they all involved neither of them taking part in this mission. "Careful," he said, finally. "Just be careful."
Anakin dumped the contents of the vial into his drink. "You know me, Master," he said with a lopsided grin, hoisting the glass in a toast.
"Why do you think I told you to be careful?"
Anakin drank down the contents of the glass, and Obi-Wan held his breath. Anakin shuddered, wrinkling his nose and coughing slightly. "Not the best tasting stuff in the galaxy," he commented. "How long is this supposed to..." He trailed off, blinked. "Oh."
"Well?" Obi-Wan prompted, watching Anakin closely. The younger man's pupils suddenly dilated, his breathing slowed. Anakin sank back on the threadbare sofa and ran his left hand over the unholstery.
Anakin swallowed heavily, looked up at Obi-Wan. "Well," he echoed. "They were right about the Force. It's very... uh, huh." He blinked again. "Huh."
Obi-Wan approached him carefully, like Anakin was a wild animal. "Are you okay?"
A bright grin split Anakin's face. He was practically glowing in delight. "I am great," he replied. "The Force is, it's still there but it's... Master, I can hear my own thoughts and it's so quiet!" He tilted his head back, laughed. "I feel wonderful."
Obi-Wan shifted uncomfortably. "Don't get used to it," he said, sharply. This was a terrible idea, from start to finish. "Come on," he said, holding out a hand. "Let's go meet our contact."
-----
Meeting their contact, Anakin played his part well. Already dazed by the initial dose, he added to that a certain twitchiness, jumping at shadows. Obi-Wan wasn't sure how much of that was an act or how much of it was Anakin experiencing the brightly-colored garish hallucinations that were part and parcel of death stick use.
Their contact knew they were Jedi, but pretended not to, acting as though they were just customers, just simple folks needing something he could provide. "We heard you got other stuff," Anakin said, effortlessly taking on an Outer Rim cadance. "Can you help us?"
"Can you pay for it?" the contact responded, pulling a vial out of his pocket. Anakin reached for it, but the contact pulled it away. "Let me bring you to Olek," he offered; their Separatist target. "He's got something that'll make you feel real good."
Anakin and Obi-Wan exchanged glances, and Obi-Wan hoped they would be able to end the mission quickly, get the proof they needed that the Separatists were working on some kind of biochem warfare, something to keep populations docile, get Olek under arrest, get back home. "Take us to him," Obi-Wan said.
The contact - Leeds, he said his name was - led them down a long, dark corridor to a bank of lifts. Hitting the button for the top floor, they rode the lift in silence. Anakin was trembling slightly, darting his eyes around, breathing hard. He jumped when Obi-Wan put a hand on his shoulder, but quickly relaxed as they exited the lift into an oppulant suite, very different from the stinking sludge of the floors below.
"Do you live here?" Olek was a Klatooinian, with a wide, leathery face and small dark eyes. At the sight of him, Anakin started, backing up into Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan cleared his throat. "Uh, yes," he replied, pushing the Core out of his accent, emulating the same speech Anakin had adopted. "Yeah. Newly. Leeds said you're the guy to talk to."
"I need something," Anakin offered. "Leeds said you'd help me."
Olek made a sharp barking noise, and gestured to Anakin. "Come here boy," he ordered. Anakin blinked, and did as he was told, taking hesitant steps towards the slythmonger. "Pretty," Olek said, decisively. "You haven't been using long, have you?"
Anakin shook his head, eyes wide, playing his part. "Nuh uh," he agreed.
"What I've got you might not be able to handle," Olek commented, reaching out and gripping Anakin's check between meaty thumb and forefinger. "You planning on staying a while?" He reached behind him and returned with a handful of bright vials. He pressed them into Anakin's hand. "I never like to see a pretty young thing go wanting." He gestured to one of the twi'lek girls perched around the room. She sauntered over, took Anakin by the elbow, led him to a nest of pillows. Obi-Wan tried to keep Anakin in sight, but the twi'lek girl was blocking his view, and Olek was speaking to him. "And you? Is he yours?"
Obi-Wan cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Not as such," he replied, realizing suddenly that Olek's attraction to Anakin, while dangerous, would likely be their key to successful completion of the mission. He was sure Anakin had come to the same conclusion. Still, it didn't feel quite right.
"Come back when you need more," Olek said as Anakin stood, shakily, using the twi'lek girl's shoulder for support. "Anytime."
Anakin nodded, dumbly, moving unsteadily back towards Obi-Wan. "'Kay..." He ran his hands up and down Obi-Wan's tunic. "Go now," he said. "We'll come back."
-----
"If you don't want to do this, just say so," Obi-Wan said, back in their temporary apartment several levels down from Olek's penthouse.
Anakin licked his lips and took a deep breath. The drug was waning, and he looked tired. "He's got it, Master," he said, with certainty. "If I can get close to him, I'll be able to get a sample, we'll be able to figure out what they're planning. We can bring him to justice." He clenched his mechanical fist.
"Just how close are you willing to get?" Obi-Wan ventured, frowning as Anakin set the vials on the table in front of the couch, clumsily hovering one with the Force. "Well, at least you can still do that much," he sighed.
"It's not too bad," Anakin replied. "I can still feel the Force. I know I can still control it, it's just not as strong as it usually is." He gave a slight smile. "Maybe that's a good thing."
"It's not," Obi-Wan snapped. "Never take your gifts for granted, Anakin."
Anakin shrugged, lifting two more of the vials with invisible fingers, juggling them in midair in front of him. "I'm not," he said. "And don't worry, this isn't exactly something I want to be doing in the long-term."
"Hmm."
"I'll go back tomorrow," Anakin said, rising from the sofa and going into the kitchen, returning a moment later with a glass of something brown. "This'll be over within a week."
Obi-Wan frowned, doubtful, as Anakin dumped another vial into his drink. "Be careful. Do you want me to come with you?"
Anakin shrugged again, swallowing his drink. "Up to you," he replied. "It might be easier if I go in alone."
The thought sent chills down Obi-Wan's spine. "I have a bad feeling about this."
"I don't," Anakin responded as his pupils widened and he sank into drug-induced joy.
-----
Obi-Wan was not prone to pacing, as a general rule. But, as with most of his rules, when Anakin was involved, things had a way of coming apart. Anakin had been gone for hours, now, and Obi-Wan was tempted to take the lift to find him, but he didn't want to compromise the mission, didn't want to make things possibly even more dangerous.
When Anakin returned, Obi-Wan wished he had just gone with him. His tunic was sliding off one shoulder, and there were hand-shaped bruises marring the bare flesh. He smelled of sex and whiskey and the tangy musk of burnt death sticks. "Are you alright?"
Anakin gave him a dazed smile. "More'n alright," he slurred, crossing the space between them languidly, sensually. He ran his hands through Obi-Wan's hair, down his beard. "F'I go back 'gain... there's, he's got a disc, a disc with th' info, e'rything we're lookin' for." He sagged against Obi-Wan's chest, grinning. "I can dis'ract 'im, grab th' disc, s'all good."
Obi-Wan grabbed Anakin's shoulders to keep him upright. "I'll get the disc," he said firmly. "Where is it?" Anakin's head lolled and he made a gurgling noise as he slid out of Obi-Wan's grip to his knees. "Anakin?"
Anakin pitched forward, his head hitting Obi-Wan's knees. He giggled, wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan's legs, shoulders shaking in chemically-enhanced mirth. It was unsettling to see Anakin like this; usually the young man craved control. Seeing him so far out of control was frightening. Anakin climbed to his feet, arms draped over Obi-Wan's shoulders, swaying them both from side to side. "It'll be over soon," Anakin said into his ear, and fell asleep on his shoulder.
-----
Obi-Wan called for backup, to be ready with an extraction team at his signal. He wanted to be the one to get the information, wanted to keep Anakin out of harms' way. He knew, though, that Olek did not trust him. Anakin had opened himself up, made himself vulnerable for the sake of the mission, and Anakin would have to be the one to finish it. Obi-Wan just hoped when Anakin got up there, he'd remember what he was there for.
An unsteady knock on the door sprang Obi-Wan into immediate action, but when the door slid open, he found Anakin on his hands and knees, stripped to the waist. "Anakin!"
Anakin fumbled with his belt, pulled a disc from one of the pouches, handed it to Obi-Wan wordlessly. Obi-Wan grabbed it and dragged Anakin into the apartment, cursing his decision to remain behind. "Anakin, talk to me," he demanded.
"Shot me up," Anakin moaned. "Wha's on th' disc... s'in me, s'what they're gonna..." He knelt, forehead pressed against the floor. His body shuddered. "Too much," he gasped. "S'too much. I was stupid, oh... Mas'er..."
Obi-Wan pressed the button on his comlink to summon the extraction team, transmitting the location of Olek so they could swoop in for the arrest. "It's okay," he told Anakin, kneeling beside him, rubbing his back. "He gave you what they're planning to use?"
Anakin nodded miserably, rising to an upright position, head tilted back. "Feels like dyin'," Anakin breathed. "I think I'm dead." He fell forward again, rolled onto his side, retching onto the floor, breathing harsh, labored.
"You're not dead," Obi-Wan replied. "And you're not dying." Except he didn't know that. He had no idea what was currently coursing through Anakin's veins, making his lips blue, his face pale. "We'll be going home soon, it will be fine."
"Force's gone," Anakin gasped, breathing becoming more urgent, more raspy. "Gone, gone, gone... I'm gone. I'll be gone. Master."
Obi-Wan gathered Anakin into his lap, summoning the Force to send healing pulses through their tattered bond. He stayed like that, legs cramping, fear threatening to overshadow his deeply ingrained training. The door exploded inward, he bent to shield Anakin from the debris.
"Haja! Obi-Wan!" He looked up, saw Luminara Unduli in the doorway, flanked by a pair of Clones. She rushed to them, kneeling, running her hands over Anakin. "Is this...?"
Obi-Wan nodded. "Intravenous, from what I've gathered," he replied as Luminara and the Clones began to assess Anakin's condition.
"We've secured the building," Luminara said as she worked. "Olek's in custody. You both did well." Beneath her hands, Anakin moaned. "Relax," she said to him, putting a push of the Force behind the word. He did, sagging against Obi-Wan. "Can you walk?"
Anakin stirred. "Maybe," he gasped, struggled to pull himself upright. Obi-Wan rose, helping Anakin to his feet, unsteady.
It took some time, and many stops for Anakin to catch his breath, but they made it back to Luminara's ship. Anakin was ushered immediately into the medical bay, Obi-Wan trailing behind, not sure what else to do.
"This is my fault," he told Luminara as she injected Anakin with a detoxifying agent. His color improved almost immediately, the shaking subsiding.
"You're as bad as he is," Luminara replied, gesturing towards Anakin. "It wasn't your fault, Obi-Wan. Anakin made his own decisions, your mission succeeded, and Anakin will be fine in time."
Obi-Wan sighed. He knew, logically, that Luminara was correct. "Thank you, my friend," he said instead of arguing with her. She nodded, and left them alone.
Anakin slitted open his eyes. "Hey, Master," he greeted. "Think I'll get a vacation out of this?"
"If a week in the Halls of Healing counts, then, yes," Obi-Wan countered. "What you did was foolish, Anakin."
Anakin gave him a dour look. "And saved countless lives," he pointed out.
Obi-Wan sighed. "Just another day in the life of Anakin Skywalker, then?" he asked, and Anakin laughed.
"Of course, Master," he said, smiling. Obi-Wan gave in, and smiled too.
Author: patientalien
Title: Pride
Challenge: SWMININANO2
Prompt: humiliation
Word Count: 237
Characters: Anakin
Rating: PG
Summary: Immediately post-Geonosis
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Pain.
Not just his arm, but oh that hurts like nothing he's ever felt before. Not just his skin, prickling still with electricity. Not just the myriad scrapes and scratches and bruises from the Arena.
No, the physical pain is nothing. He can overcome that. He feels the pain, so sharply, so intimately. The pain is like a familiar lover, like a dear friend. He can live with the pain.
He opens his eyes, looks down at the ruins of his arm. Nothing left below the elbow, and his breath hitches. It is not the loss of his arm. He can learn to wield a mechno just as easily.
It is not the pain, or the loss, that makes him want to curl up under the covers of his medbay cot and never emerge. No, it is the burning, aching humiliation of being bested. Of making a choice that turned out to be so very, very wrong. All of his boasting, all of his arrogance, ripped to shreds and what is left. An orphan. A slave child. A scared little boy who saw too many people die today. Certainly not the fierce warrior-Jedi he has been trying so hard to be. He can feel the flush of embarrassment as he looks down at the stump of a limb, can feel the deep, aching loss. Loss of limb. Loss of pride.
It's the latter that hurts the most.