trapped

[swetcheks]

Here I am, on the verge of tears, I should have seen this coming. I could cry for you, for us, or the lack there of, yet my heart doesn't ache as it should. Lacking, in many ways, my life is in shambles. I could choose sacrificing myself for the sake of security, but now there's no turning back. Without my friends, without those who I hold dear, I wouldn't be this strong. I know, I can say this now, although I've felt it for a long time, that I can't go on settling at twenty, I need to know love. You claim you miss me, you want me home, you make this so hard. If you could just scream, not cry and accept that this has been coming for such a long time, I could pick up the pieces, just a little more easily. Holding my head high, knowing that I made the right decision doesn't make this easy. I'm here, somewhere I don't belong, living a life I never intended on living. Yet my people, my strength are my saviors, and I can be okay. I can can't I?

... love you Wes, thank you for being there for me, and thank you for loving me in return, even if you don't always agree with my decisions...