The Kodak Theater, Sunday Evening

Feb 22, 2009 19:34

Where Skank Zero Hopeless-Savage had gotten a red carpet press pass was going to be debated hotly among the crownèd heads of Hollywood for weeks to come. Her footage was shown on MTV, but they disavowed all responsibility for and knowledge of her actions.

Nonetheless, here she was, in a plaid dress and combat boots, with a frightened-looking cameraman, accosting any celebrity she could get her hands on:

"I'm here with those kids from those Secondary School Drama movies, and I have just one question for them: Who did you kill to get tickets to the bloody Oscars?"

"Ms. Swinton, and this is coming from me, what the squall are you wearing?"

"Angelina! Angelina! I'm not Ryan Seacrest! I can babysit! How are you walking so fast in heels?!"

((Establishy. And on crack.))
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