(no subject)
I’ve been thinking about why people feel gay marriage is a threat to heterosexual marriage. Do they think that lots of couples will divorce and these divorcees will start marrying same-sex partners willy-nilly?
Joking aside, I have been thinking about Proposition 8 and why it was passed. Many religious institutions outside of California (not just the Mormons) funded large-scale advertising campaigns that anti-Proposition 8 advocates could not overcome. And I have a problem with this for several reasons.
I have a problem with Proposition 8 passing because of who was backing it: religious interests. The ways in which they have described homosexual relationships and lifestyles is vile and, in my opinion, unChristian. In addition, they believe everyone should live as they do, regardless of their beliefs, which, to my mind, is un-American. We do have freedom of religion in this country. Everyone in favor of the proposition talks about “defending” marriage, but absolutely no one has explained what it will be defended from. How will allowing homosexuals to marry affect the ability of heterosexuals to marry? What is the threat that homosexual marriage poses? None.
But my biggest problem with Proposition 8 is that it has codified hatred and bigotry. Gays are weird and perverts; therefore, they are not entitled to the rights and protections that decent people get. At least that’s how the argument is coming across to me.
Let me tell you about being gay. Much of my life, I was in the closet to myself. When I was growing up, my dad had a co-worker named Leslie. We had to pronounce her name “less-lee” because my mom thought the standard pronunciation sounded too much like lezzie. It didn’t help that the woman in question had a special female friend.
I didn’t understand why I had crushes on some women in my life, particularly during my preteen years. Being me, I turned to books to figure out what was going on. I learned that it was normal for young girls to have crushes on women whom they admired. So this is what I thought was going on. I dated men. I even slept with them, but something was missing. I didn’t feel secure in the relationship; I felt like I was missing something. I just didn’t know what.
Then I met my one and only female lover. And it was right. I felt good about the relationship, secure, and fulfilled. I discovered the piece of me that was missing - it wasn’t in my sexual partner or in my relationship. It was a piece of me I had misplaced in the closet. Those who knew me before and after this discovery noted a difference - some even asked what took me so long to find myself.
We’ve had our ups and our downs. We’ve been through job hunts, job losses, difficult jobs, graduate school, prolonged separations due to life events, pain crisis after pain crisis, financial difficulties, family emergencies, etc. Still, we are together. We love each other. We are committed to one another.
Yet Proposition 8 and all legislation like it tells us this isn’t good enough. We’ve been together nearly 17 years (longer than most heterosexual couples) and that’s still not good enough. Fortunately, we are in a domestic partnership state, so she has some rights. I have a friend (T) who didn’t have this protection who, after her partner’s (N) death, had N’s family hold the funeral so T couldn’t attend, refuse to tell her where N was buried, and stole N’s few assets and most of the joint belongings. And Proposition 8 says that that’s okay.
That’s not okay.
swell
Joking aside, I have been thinking about Proposition 8 and why it was passed. Many religious institutions outside of California (not just the Mormons) funded large-scale advertising campaigns that anti-Proposition 8 advocates could not overcome. And I have a problem with this for several reasons.
I have a problem with Proposition 8 passing because of who was backing it: religious interests. The ways in which they have described homosexual relationships and lifestyles is vile and, in my opinion, unChristian. In addition, they believe everyone should live as they do, regardless of their beliefs, which, to my mind, is un-American. We do have freedom of religion in this country. Everyone in favor of the proposition talks about “defending” marriage, but absolutely no one has explained what it will be defended from. How will allowing homosexuals to marry affect the ability of heterosexuals to marry? What is the threat that homosexual marriage poses? None.
But my biggest problem with Proposition 8 is that it has codified hatred and bigotry. Gays are weird and perverts; therefore, they are not entitled to the rights and protections that decent people get. At least that’s how the argument is coming across to me.
Let me tell you about being gay. Much of my life, I was in the closet to myself. When I was growing up, my dad had a co-worker named Leslie. We had to pronounce her name “less-lee” because my mom thought the standard pronunciation sounded too much like lezzie. It didn’t help that the woman in question had a special female friend.
I didn’t understand why I had crushes on some women in my life, particularly during my preteen years. Being me, I turned to books to figure out what was going on. I learned that it was normal for young girls to have crushes on women whom they admired. So this is what I thought was going on. I dated men. I even slept with them, but something was missing. I didn’t feel secure in the relationship; I felt like I was missing something. I just didn’t know what.
Then I met my one and only female lover. And it was right. I felt good about the relationship, secure, and fulfilled. I discovered the piece of me that was missing - it wasn’t in my sexual partner or in my relationship. It was a piece of me I had misplaced in the closet. Those who knew me before and after this discovery noted a difference - some even asked what took me so long to find myself.
We’ve had our ups and our downs. We’ve been through job hunts, job losses, difficult jobs, graduate school, prolonged separations due to life events, pain crisis after pain crisis, financial difficulties, family emergencies, etc. Still, we are together. We love each other. We are committed to one another.
Yet Proposition 8 and all legislation like it tells us this isn’t good enough. We’ve been together nearly 17 years (longer than most heterosexual couples) and that’s still not good enough. Fortunately, we are in a domestic partnership state, so she has some rights. I have a friend (T) who didn’t have this protection who, after her partner’s (N) death, had N’s family hold the funeral so T couldn’t attend, refuse to tell her where N was buried, and stole N’s few assets and most of the joint belongings. And Proposition 8 says that that’s okay.
That’s not okay.
swell