Of Band, Breakups, and Boys.
So much has happened lately its crazy. Band camp was boring for the most part. I'm an actor it's kind of supposed to be boring for us. I wish we had more to do. Like if we could help with props or work on costumes or a dance number or just not have to be there during the day and come for the night part. Whatever. It's over now.
The big thing is that John and I are taking a break during marching band because I will never see him and I would feel really bad if something happened. No I'm not going to elaborate on that so dont ask.
I think the show is going to be good.
I already know who I want to be my bus buddy. I will not state his real name cause Russell would probably laugh until I hit him so hard that his lips fell off so I will just refer to him as Teddy. I also know that I want to room with Britney but I'm not sure who else. Oh well. St Louis isnt for a long time so we'll see.
I say I am sad but not really sobbing sad like I was a few days ago. After skit night on Thursday, the day I had broken up with John, I just started sobbing. I don't think I've ever cried that hard in my life. My body was shaking with each sob. The worst part was that Brad hadn't left yet. He was still putting stuff in his car and I'm really afraid that he thinks I was doing it for attention but truthfully I didn't even know he was there until way after I had started crying and that just made me cry harder. Today I am not that kind of sad. Today I am in a passive sort of depression. It's not revolving around John at all either. It's just kind of how everything has landed onto me. I think it might also be the way it's raining. This isn't a life bringing rain. This is a saddening mood kind of rain. If this were a movie this would be the day of a funeral. Not my movie though. In my movie it would be beautiful and sunny to show how ironic the world really is and that even if the sun is beating down on your head you can still feel how cold the day is. Today is a cold day and it's starting to get to me. I'll be ok though.
The big thing is that John and I are taking a break during marching band because I will never see him and I would feel really bad if something happened. No I'm not going to elaborate on that so dont ask.
I think the show is going to be good.
I already know who I want to be my bus buddy. I will not state his real name cause Russell would probably laugh until I hit him so hard that his lips fell off so I will just refer to him as Teddy. I also know that I want to room with Britney but I'm not sure who else. Oh well. St Louis isnt for a long time so we'll see.
I say I am sad but not really sobbing sad like I was a few days ago. After skit night on Thursday, the day I had broken up with John, I just started sobbing. I don't think I've ever cried that hard in my life. My body was shaking with each sob. The worst part was that Brad hadn't left yet. He was still putting stuff in his car and I'm really afraid that he thinks I was doing it for attention but truthfully I didn't even know he was there until way after I had started crying and that just made me cry harder. Today I am not that kind of sad. Today I am in a passive sort of depression. It's not revolving around John at all either. It's just kind of how everything has landed onto me. I think it might also be the way it's raining. This isn't a life bringing rain. This is a saddening mood kind of rain. If this were a movie this would be the day of a funeral. Not my movie though. In my movie it would be beautiful and sunny to show how ironic the world really is and that even if the sun is beating down on your head you can still feel how cold the day is. Today is a cold day and it's starting to get to me. I'll be ok though.