Berlin: Love in the time of the Corona virus
It's been a while since I've written anything, not only here but anywhere. After my dad died 5 years ago it hurt too much to post words I knew he could never read. Friends and colleagues suggested he still might be able to read it, but I could never connect with that feeling. Now, I like that idea, even if I don't really believe it. If you're still reading livejournal somewhere, Papa, this is for you.
We're living through 'interesting' times here, waiting for the news that the social distancing policies set in place -concerts and operas cancelled, clubs and bars closed, museums and libraries closed, schools and day cares closed, restaurants closed in the evenings, church services cancelled and now stores closing- haven't been enough. Very likely by the end of the week everyone will be put in quarantine or under some kind of curfew until further notice. House arrest for an entire nation. They are patrolling the streets of Milan and Madrid with drones to catch the people still trying to be out and about. I wonder what the surveillance here would look like. At least now we can meet our friends outside: we could see Nancy and Mark on the weekend and Sarah and Daniel yesterday to go for walks and talk outside. Of course the rest of Berlin-Charlottenburg was also in the Schlosspark yesterday clogging the paths with their friends and relations like we were. It was a perfect spring day. Sunshine, daffodils, crocuses, birds singing, I even heard a woodpecker.
The concept of social distancing does not seem to be getting through to the younger generation. Sarah was so excited and excitable, she couldn't help herself from laughing directly into our faces, literally spitting with laughter. Not at the recommended distance of 1.5 metres for sure. I was furious because it cost me a LOT not to give her a big hug when we met! What's the point of sacrificing the pleasure of hugging her, for the greater good, if she's spraying saliva all over us anyway??!! Daniel told us he was out every night drinking as much as possible in bars with friends before the inevitable closings last weekend. Which of course made the closings inevitable. We bumped into our neighbours today with a huge case of beer they were planning on drinking themselves insensible with after being forced to close their store. Their kids are teenagers and are absolutely delighted to have school off and all the time in the world to binge-watch TV.
Crazy, the liberties we took for granted only two weeks ago, suddenly removed with no protest from the public. Germany, a totalitarian state again? How is it possible that this is suddenly OK? Even within Germany there are now travel restrictions, Schleswig Holstein has closed its borders to the rest of the country. People vacationing there have to leave by tomorrow.
Meanwhile, Mischa and I have had a week at home already, no work until April 20 at the earliest and nothing on the horizon, no way of knowing when we will play again. This time last week we were both terrified, because Mischa had a cough and fever, after coming home from the part of Germany most affected by the pandemic, and I quickly became sick too, agonising over shortness of breath and tightness in my chest. As an asthmatic, that's kind of normal for me for a bad cold or flu, but of course under present circumstances, I was an anxious mess.
Two weeks ago, we played a wonderful concert in the Philharmonie, not knowing it was our last for the foreseeable future. Blithely having friends over for dinner, not knowing we would deeply regret it only two days later when we realised we might have put our dearest friends, who are both over 70, at grave risk. I'm still counting the days, it's been 10 so far.
Today we are both healthy again, and starting to get used to the new 'normal', and without the immediate fear of death hanging over us, I am actually beginning to savour all the free time at my disposal.
I have time to cook delicious food.
I have time to learn pieces I've always wanted to learn, I can practice whatever I like.
I had time to give Mischa an Alexander Technique lesson today.
I have no stress, no performances to obsess over, no nerves, no stage fright.
Aside from the huge issue of survival, I strangely have nothing to worry about.
I have time to sleep, read and finally to write.