(no subject)
Alright so I have some down news this time....~sighs~ So John stopped calling me(The newspaper guy)so maybe im not as good as I or everyone thinks. Maybe I will be nothing more than just a house wife with like a billion kids and the guy making all the money and controlling everything because im too stupid to do anything and I will have to keep the house clean to a tee or get my ass kicked by whom I believed to be the man of my dreams and then my kids will grow up and end up hating me cause I never left him and the have emotional problems and tell me I am the worst mom ever and they leave me and my husband will leave me cause im worthless and I will be left in a box on the side of the street begging for my life and then someone will throw a taco at me and tell me to get a life only I cant o I run into the middle of the street and kill myself:| I will have a short life. And then when my kids find out that I did that they will meet there father and party cause im gone and then they will all find out that I was living a secret life because I hated my life so much and that I had one person who actually cared about me and the youngest kid who was 6 has a different dad then the others and they will find out that I was planning on leaving for a long time but I could never do it cause I was afraid of what he would do to them and then they felt bad for being such assholes to me and the one I love and loved me will move on and marry someone else and take in little Calista(I decided thats her name) and will give her a good life while the other kids go about vandalizing and being asshole and then my former husband finds another girl who ends up killing him because she was stronger than I and then the kids get arrested expect for Calista who ends up beign a famous singer and dedicates a song to me cause only her and her dad cared about me. So thats my life...and thats probably going to happen beacuse I will never find the one thing Im good at and well...so thats that...I want to give up and yet I want to keep going. Just like in pottery I told the teacher I didnt want to do the wheel anymore and he wont let me quit cause he wants me to prove to me and the guys that I can do it but I cant!!!