I need some Encouragement!
I've been missing Oscar alot today. Just thinking about him alot. It's so hard for me to hear country music, especially certain songs. He LOVED country music, when we were together in the car and going on our trips or just driving around, I remember how I used to love to hear him and watch him singing his heart out over EVERY song. (He knew them ALL by heart, and looked SO cute) And how we also would fight over me wanting to hear something else cause the music was driving me crazy! lol (I'll always LOVE my R &B!)
I just have these moments where all I can see are flashbacks of something that happened, images of him, or us in my mind; I can hear his voice, hear his laughter, see his eyes light up when he'd smile at me. I often wonder if I hadn't broken up with him, how would I be? how would we be? I think it was done for the best, but I can't help but miss him so much. I'm trying to be strong, trying to stay busy, trying with all of my being to stay sane. I pray alot...maybe not enough? There are times where I'm proud of myself for standing up for who I am, refusing to go through all the madness with him, but then there are times where I feel incredibly weak, so vulnerable, and I often feel as if maybe I gave up on him and should have been stronger, in his time of weakness. I am NOT gonna' call him though, and I'm NOT gonna' give up on myself...I will get through this............ I hope.
I just have these moments where all I can see are flashbacks of something that happened, images of him, or us in my mind; I can hear his voice, hear his laughter, see his eyes light up when he'd smile at me. I often wonder if I hadn't broken up with him, how would I be? how would we be? I think it was done for the best, but I can't help but miss him so much. I'm trying to be strong, trying to stay busy, trying with all of my being to stay sane. I pray alot...maybe not enough? There are times where I'm proud of myself for standing up for who I am, refusing to go through all the madness with him, but then there are times where I feel incredibly weak, so vulnerable, and I often feel as if maybe I gave up on him and should have been stronger, in his time of weakness. I am NOT gonna' call him though, and I'm NOT gonna' give up on myself...I will get through this............ I hope.