(no subject)
Ive been spending all my time in bed reading. After my free trial of Kindle Unlimited expired and I went ahead and bought the next month and thats where all my time goes. I eat, shower, feed and play with the kids, and venture out once a week or so but other then those things Im reading anything and everything. Im not even caught up on my weekly tv shows. I havent been cooking dinner either. We've both been left to fend for ourselves and we are okay with that.
So remember when I mentioned in here before about making changes with being moody and bitchy to save my relationship? Well for months now Ive had it under control and have been keeping myself happy around him and when I feel bitchy or wanting to lash out I either sleep it off or keep my distance. Do you think he has noticed? Nope. I briefly put ot out there yesterday and nothing was said. Then today I got a bit bitchh with him because I didnt like how stupid he was being about something and aftef awhile he told me , yes he has noticed Ive been better but I had a setback tonight. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!? Right then and there I wanted to drop kick him, slit his face open, spit on him, and throat punch him all at once. Of course his fucking stupid ass would only notice when I have a brief bitch episode. *huffs* I calmly, almost nonchalantly told him Im allowed. Inside myself Im festering, aching to fucking go full bitch mode for the next week on his fucking ass, but Im pushing it down inside for now. I will take it out later by reading some murder, real life crime novel. Thats healthy channeling...right? *innocent look*
Okay. I needed to get that out. I didnt nap today and was an adult and woke up at a normal time. Im going to read and snooze until 3am or so til I have to dose myself on Suboxone, which in other slightly unimportant Ive started taking it three times a day instead of two. Talk about that next time amigos.
Gnight.