(no subject)
my good friend mike mccready wrote this.
soulessyouth
if i had a gun...
id be dead
one last lie..
one last truth..
just explain why...
just tell me why i cant
hold me close to you.
and set me free
let me die..
i promise i wont cry
i have no reasons left to live
none... 0...
life is nothing but a bunch of failures, and sorry excuses
let me die tonight
let me die by my own hand...
this self destruction of suicide
brings down my self arguements by my own selfbeing
kill me...
let me destroy myself
i was born a lie
and i will always live a lie
i cant take this shit...
let me go...
i want to die but i cant see the light ahead to make me turn back
i dont want to walk straight nemore..
it hasnt helped me in the least bit
telling the truth is worse then lies
the lies only get me help
the truth gets me suicidal thoughts
self explain how i can feel this way without having to die
tell me why im so pitiful
hold me close to you for this once quiet dream like state
this euphoria as i slowly hurt myself
the cold blood runs down my arms in a slow trickle
decieving it appears but yet so real
the freedom i feel when im hurt
i cut to the core of my selfbeing
how can i exist with my heart in a hole called hell..
just please
please let me die
dont give me up with a fight
i want to feel better forever...
just let me die.... tonight
i just await my own sorry end
the end that will set me free
the cold blood running down my arms is slowly drying..
firming under the pressure
cracking under the foundation of life
the shimmering color of the pain running from my arms
closes me from the other worlds..
this agonizingly painful self expression of death
has me utmostly torn from myself..
please tell me what i can do to set myself free
im sick of being told to close the outside off.
but deep down my soul is crying
its hurt, its worn
these agonizingly slow days tear my flesh as though its butter
horrific scenes of pain show in my face as i sit here holding this stainless blade
the gashes in my wartorn arms tell of a war not yet won
struggling to exist in a world im not wanted
hollowed dreams and yet so puny i exist
one of several billion
a hollowed self absorbtion of lesser known lies
a shadowed existance hidden by crying and a single truth
why must i be here
i wish death was much simpler
a father a mother a single sperm
brought me here
and this single sperm can reject himself easier then neone who can breathe
i can take my own life as fast as i can and not look back
burning embers of the slain souls charred remains of the lasting effects on this world
i die slowly sitting in my darkened room
the fragile walls tell of how my life hasnt ever existed
school halls and detention bells ring through my head
i sit here dying and yet i wonder if what i did was real
im lying down on my back watching my self existance drift away.
lies more lies and no truth to it..
i saved 3 lives if not more..
how can i be a evil person.
im a misunderstood teen
a plaything looking for retribution
a life of pain and torment
a life of agnonizing long days of hellish torment
fucking explanations of why i am a bad child
a life where people die in wars, and drugs
disease tears my insides apart
yet i still sit here wondering why do i cry
im only setting myself free.
im setting myself so free i cant see how far i can go
uttering these quiet words...
i dream of how life should have been not what it is..
my dreams of death have been fullfilled...
im lying on my bed one lastnight slowly drifting in and out of death...
i look down one last time to see my life drift by
the memories ive held in so long
shallow cries for help not listened to
friends drifting away as ages pass
but yet ill let myself die...
the cold chills start to shutter my insides not much time now...
a tear runs down my cheek as i look in the mirror for the lasttime
a crimson colored stain runs down my shirt and on my arms..
what did i do... im forever lost
then the chills over come me...
slipping and cant hold on i dive down to the deepest recesses of my soul and perish my own way...
no more lies..
no more truth
just death and less pain
i just wish i got to say good bye
now i lay here dying glazed look on my face... as i drift into a everlasting slumber
cold falls down on my face as i drift into a ever lasting sleep
im sorry im to far gone...
white lights shutter the dark hallows of my heart...
close my eyes and move toward the light.... im sorry im to far gone
im in a better place... a place where i can finally be understood... im in hell....