Sep 24, 2005 11:08
okay well i probably have a lot to say but i really don't feel like typing it all...i haven't updated in a while so im jus gonna say soem of the more important things that are on my mind...
okay so my dad is gonna buy a restaurant in vermont.what does this mean? this means that he is going to rent an apartment in vermont while the rest of us stay here and after my brother and i finish the school year we're moving up there.so i guess im gonna be looking at colleges in vermont. but what this also entails is that i am going to have to live with my mom while my dad is away. this is going to suck and gawd i really do not know how i am going to do it. she gets on my nerves ALL the time. putting us 2gether is like puttin oil and water together...we really DON'T mix. my dad has always been there as like the mediator and now he's gonna be gone? and not seeing him every day is going to be so hard cuz i am so close with my dad...im starting to cry right now just thinking about it seriously.
why is everything right now sucking? school and volleyball are wearing me down so far that i can't focus on anything. and damnit no one ever calls! i swear i could sit next to the phone all day today and i bet i wouldn't get one single call. am i that unlikeable?? i thought i had friends, but maybe i was fooling myself. my best fucking friend too i haven't talked to her in like i dont kno a month. and the last time was me calling her. so i decided to not call and see if she would. nope nothing. and i even called her last week(i know i said i wouldn't) but i wanted to see if she wanted to go bowling. i left a friggin message on her phone and talked to her sister at her house and no fucking callback. if i was sucked up by a tornado right now im sure no one would even notice. and im sorry i've tried not to bitch about lonliness and depression or watever in this thing but i really can't help it anymore. currently everything is bad....family,friends,school,sports(im not doing bad in vball but it's just a pain in the ass) i dont ko wat i am going to do with myself. im so overwhelmed and the friend and family situations are not helping either. im in hate right now