[Fic] Things China Is Not Allowed To Do...Part I
Things China is Not Allowed to Do
1. I am not allowed to add “aru” to the end of each sentence.
2. -The other nations find it weird…
3. …aru.
4. I am not allowed to let Taiwan come with me whenever I go to meet with Russia.
5. That girl is in league with Hungary, I swear, aru!
6. That being said, I am not allowed to let Taiwan go anywhere near Hungary.
7. Or France.
8. Or Spain.
9. Or Netherlands.
10. Or Denmark.
11. Because God knows how many of those Europeans are pedos, aru…
12. -And Japan is already in league with Hungary, anyway.
13. Commenting on Hong Kong’s eyebrows will only offend England.
14. Offering to shave or pluck them for him will result in worse things happening.
15. -It was really his fault, aru! Hong was so handsome and looked so much like me before he kidnapped him, aru!
16. I am not allowed to remind Vietnam about how much she looks like me.
17. -She knows that already.
18. -And for some reason she gets offended, aru…
19. Trying to get America to take tea with every meal will not work and I should not try it.
20. -He’s too naïve to appreciate it anyway.
21. Reminding England about the opium wars is not recommended.
22. -It will result in bad things happening and quite possibly hospitalization.
23. -Even if he does deserve it, aru.
24. Tugging on Taiwan’s haircurl will result in many bad things happening to my face.
25. -The same goes for every other haircurl, actually.
26. -Except for Korea’s, aru. Apparently he likes it for some weird reason.
27. I am not allowed to be mean to Korea.
28. As annoying and loud as he is, he is still my little brother.
29. -Where did I go wrong with him?
30. Locking Japan and Korea in a room to try and get them to get along wasn’t funny after the first time, aru.
31. -Or the tenth.
32. -Or the twenty-third.
33. -Or the time Hungary came over for a sleepover and she had her camera.
34. I am not allowed to get mad when other nations mistake me for a girl.
35. -I am a man, aru! Honest!
36. Trying to intervene in a fight between Belgium and Switzerland over whose chocolate is better is not allowed.
37. -Those guys are brutal enough as it is and my joining in will only result in gunshot wounds, aru.
38. -Even though I, with my exceptional culinary taste, am obviously the best judge for that, aru.
39. On that note, commenting on England’s food is not allowed. This should be self-explanatory.
40. Acting like yaoi guys with Russia to get Taiwan to live with me again is not allowed.
41. Acting like yaoi guys with Russia to get any of my other siblings to live with me again is not allowed, either.
42. -It doesn’t work anyway.
43. Letting Korea near Belarus will either result in stab wounds, her running to Russia in tears, or ‘my-brother-is-better’ fights, and therefore I should not allow this, aru.
44. -Especially not during world meetings.
45. -Even though it was funny and everybody laughed.
46. -Except Belarus and Korea.
47. -He forgave me afterwards, aru, but I had to cross my fingers and sleep with a gun for a while after that.
48. Going near Belarus will only result in jealousy tantrums from her, aru.
49. I am not allowed to “hang out” with Poland.
50. See Rule 34.
51. -No, aru, not that one, you perv!
52. Trying to pass Shinatty-chan off as an authentic Hello Kitty product is not allowed.
53. -Even though it is so much cuter than Hello Kitty, aru!
54. -And America didn’t notice anyway.
55. Saying I am a better big brother than England is not allowed.
56. -Even if it is true.
57. Saying my tea is better than his is also not allowed.
58. -It really is, aru! Really, who wants that much milk in their tea, anyway!
59. Letting Hong Kong near England is not allowed either.
60. -The last time it happened England ended up with a burn from the fireworks.
Onwards to Part II~