*sigh*... again.
I missed Chris tonight, alot. I think its because this weekend I have friends coming from out of town, for my going away party, and they're all staying here... and I really wish he could be one of them. He never got to meet my friends, or hang out with me in a setting where I was "Mel" or that kinda thing. He always saw me the way I was around him... it would have been nice for him to be here. Plus, he's a big reason I joined. Not to get away, but he was another military person that I respected deeply, and I wanted to feel the pride that I knew he, like my brother and his friends, felt.
I miss him, and he said he misses me... as friends... and I want to call at night so bad sometimes, but I'm so... gosh, I'm almost embarrassed... to call him. I don't feel "that" way anymore. Not at all. But I just worry if I call I'll be bugging him. I WILL call once more before I go, at least. Hopefully I'll hear from him first though.
I just wish he could be here. He never got to see me as a whole, thats the one thing I regret about us. For as much as I gave and tried to give in some areas, I always held back in just as many.
I miss him, and he said he misses me... as friends... and I want to call at night so bad sometimes, but I'm so... gosh, I'm almost embarrassed... to call him. I don't feel "that" way anymore. Not at all. But I just worry if I call I'll be bugging him. I WILL call once more before I go, at least. Hopefully I'll hear from him first though.
I just wish he could be here. He never got to see me as a whole, thats the one thing I regret about us. For as much as I gave and tried to give in some areas, I always held back in just as many.