weird
a situation came up yesterday and i wasn't sure if it was me just being retarded, or if i actually had something to be concerned about, so i decided to turn to the one person who knew me extremely well for alittle more than a year and a half.
so the phone rang last night and on the other end was a voice
(returning my IM/call) that used to be so familiar and close to my heart that sometimes it was the same voice i'd hear in my mind and in my dreams~
now, that voice seemed so foreign and strange.
how do i explain? it seemed to bounce in echo around my ears, but never really entered my person. i sat there-- numb, and unable to speak. why speak? i would be speaking to nothingness. (kinda nihilistic, huh?)
anyway later on IM, and after a very refreshing conversation with said party, (name censored by harsh request)...
i learned alot about putting things in perspective--
namely, that no matter how ridiculous things seem to get out here (you know, the stress of school, living alone and of course the whole concept of a "new" relationship) it's 100x's better than the life (and supposed "love" i left behind in new jersey. if i ever romanticistically reminesced about old dreams and old flames-- that conversation certainly cured me.
although he had very little to contribute that would make me feel any better about myself, or my new situation out here, i realized just how much this life (tommy included) means to me. i guess i should say "thanks" to him for pointing out all that i have to be grateful for in the end-- even if it was in his all-too-familiar verbal attack style.
so the phone rang last night and on the other end was a voice
(returning my IM/call) that used to be so familiar and close to my heart that sometimes it was the same voice i'd hear in my mind and in my dreams~
now, that voice seemed so foreign and strange.
how do i explain? it seemed to bounce in echo around my ears, but never really entered my person. i sat there-- numb, and unable to speak. why speak? i would be speaking to nothingness. (kinda nihilistic, huh?)
anyway later on IM, and after a very refreshing conversation with said party, (name censored by harsh request)...
i learned alot about putting things in perspective--
namely, that no matter how ridiculous things seem to get out here (you know, the stress of school, living alone and of course the whole concept of a "new" relationship) it's 100x's better than the life (and supposed "love" i left behind in new jersey. if i ever romanticistically reminesced about old dreams and old flames-- that conversation certainly cured me.
although he had very little to contribute that would make me feel any better about myself, or my new situation out here, i realized just how much this life (tommy included) means to me. i guess i should say "thanks" to him for pointing out all that i have to be grateful for in the end-- even if it was in his all-too-familiar verbal attack style.