I just need to write

[sweettootziepop]

I can't even describe how I feel or what I'm thinking. I'm still numb from all the pain.. and still shake from all the anger. Everything that went on behind my back.. all the lies.. all the tears.. I don't deserve any of it. I gave him everything. I loved him with all of my heart.. But I only had a part of his. I can never forgive him, or the girls. Didn't they know he had a girlfriend? Come on now.. have some damn morals. Shows ALOT about them. And shows alot about him to get with smuts like that. But ya know what I learned? I'm better than this. I deserve so much more and I'm going to find someone who can really appreciate me for all that I am. I believe that you loved me and that you're sorry.. but "sorry" can't fix my broken heart. It can't earn back all the trust I've lost for you. It can't take back all the tears I've cried. We'll move on eventually, but you'll always look back and think of the greatest loss of your life, which was me. You never know what you have until you lose it. You have to live with what you've done. I just have to live knowing that I opened my heart to someone who abused it.

To my friends.. You're amazing. This is probably the worst experiance of my life, and you guys are helping me get through this. Tine, your advice has really helped me out. You really made me see that I deserve so much more. Rach, Dana, Ash, Tony, Torre, Alan.. thanks for being with me.. making me laugh to get my mind off of this mess. Thanks for letting me have a shoulder to cry on. Steve, Gill, Ashley, and everyone else.. thanks for the support.

You never forget your first love Nelson. It's just a shame it had to end like this.. but you made it this way

..So much for my happy ending