Guilt
I am a finical burden. I am useless. I will never get well. I will probably not make it to my 30th birthday.
1. Being able to work only once in a blue moon based upon the hours they give, or the fact that i am so sick i cant get out of bed has caused my parents finical problems. I barely work enough to pay the bills, yet alone help with my hospital stays/prescriptions. It's making my mom resent me, she is the giver and i am the taker. I will never be able to pay them back. I can't seem to get out of this "broke" state. My last prescription? Insurance didn't cover and CVS didn't tell us until I was in dire need that we had no choice but to pay 56.99. I am going to make my parents lose their house if i can't get well or at least work through bad days..
2. I am useless, a direct quote about me from one of my co-workers about me being promoted. basically i will do a terrible job, at the promotion i've been given. I feel useless. I can't make enough money to support myself, i can't even take care of myself.
3. ITP made me look like a battered woman. It made me tired, weak, defeated. Now crohns, i can't even enjoy a meal with the family..it's either suffer or starve. Starving has given my figure it's curves back.
4. The way i am headed, i will not survive. My body seems to be killing itself from the inside out..and i'm not sure i care to stop it.
1. Being able to work only once in a blue moon based upon the hours they give, or the fact that i am so sick i cant get out of bed has caused my parents finical problems. I barely work enough to pay the bills, yet alone help with my hospital stays/prescriptions. It's making my mom resent me, she is the giver and i am the taker. I will never be able to pay them back. I can't seem to get out of this "broke" state. My last prescription? Insurance didn't cover and CVS didn't tell us until I was in dire need that we had no choice but to pay 56.99. I am going to make my parents lose their house if i can't get well or at least work through bad days..
2. I am useless, a direct quote about me from one of my co-workers about me being promoted. basically i will do a terrible job, at the promotion i've been given. I feel useless. I can't make enough money to support myself, i can't even take care of myself.
3. ITP made me look like a battered woman. It made me tired, weak, defeated. Now crohns, i can't even enjoy a meal with the family..it's either suffer or starve. Starving has given my figure it's curves back.
4. The way i am headed, i will not survive. My body seems to be killing itself from the inside out..and i'm not sure i care to stop it.