Apr 30, 2011 23:53
Title: You and Clouds
Genre: Romance, Angst
Rating: G
Pairing: JaeMin
Length: One-Shot
Warning: Very light angst. And not happy ending. (why am I telling you this?!!)
Summary: So what's left? Clouds and the you I'll never be with.
You held my hand and made me laugh like no other friend ever did.
---Fast forward to two years later.
So at first, you held my hand and made me laugh like no other friend ever did. Maybe I took your friendship for granted, maybe I was in my own dark bubble, unaware of most people around me. You told me about a dark cloud. You told me how to get rid of it. It involved a lot of flushing down the toilet. A lot of smelly stuff...
A summer without you, no class with you...I forgot about you.
"Jaejoong! You twerp! Which girl kept you up last night eh? Who turned you into a zombie? Stop sleeping in my class!", my math teacher shouted.
Last night? No. That's not it. No girl. Just me, myself and I. I was too busy staying awake, daydreaming about dark clouds, rain, gods and goddesses fighting each other on top of them, swords shooting fiery arrows as weapons...funny though, my thoughts ended with tears on my pillow. Lots of them. Just like yesterday, and the day before...and the week before this week. See, it's not like I want to think about these things. It's not like I want to think about HIM.
*ringgggg* the bell rang and it was time to pack up.
I put my binders and pencil case in my bag, my favorite dark blue bag, and ran for the door. I walked in the hallway, humming so to keep my brain bus-
that group of friends, that voice...no, not that voice. I don't want to hear it. Tunnel vision, check. Wait, never mind, my eyes are already closed. Normal paced walk, check. Ear plugs, no check. Crap. I couldn't help but notice tears starting to well up on the rim of my eyes. I know that I can't keep this up. I know. I can't let it be because tears won't stop threatening me every time there's a sign of his presence.
I took a right turn, and then a left. Heading towards the bus stop. "Jae! Wait up man! What's with the rush?", Junsu shouted from meters away, catching up. "Oh, hey Dolphin." "Stop calling me what everyone is calling me! You're not them! And what's with the puffy eyes, Jae? Is it him again?" Silence.
-Su, let's go buy ice cream before going home. My treat, my decision. Strawberry.
-No, blueberry!
-Blue strawberry
-What the? No! Red blueberry!
-I've never heard of that one
-I haven't heard of your silly blue smelly smoked strawberry either!
-...
We got our strawberry and blueberry mixed cones and headed home. While Junsu focused on eating his red blueberry ice cream, I got to some thinking...
So yes, him. It can't be like before, I know. Not after I deleted things relating to him. Not after this, while I'm trying to forget his number, but when I test myself I keep on getting disappointed because I realize that the number would just bounce out of my mind. Not when I get butterflies when thinking about almost anything relating to him. His beautiful smile, butterflies. His touch, butterflies. His eyes, butterflies. The way he shares his love for others around him, the way he does what he likes, without a care for how he might seem...
Two years ago, we were close friends. A year ago we became strangers. This year, I really tried. And it tears me up whenever I think about how much I've tried to get our friendship back for months. But it's not working. The only things we do are hellos and byes. I'm not sure why. Maybe we've changed too much. Maybe we're just not compatible. I tried for so long, yet I realized I fell for him only last week.
Changmin, Shim Changmin. I guess I fell for you at the wrong time. Maybe I fell for you a bit too late. Maybe I fell for you a bit too early. Or maybe, I shouldn't have fallen for you at all. I love you. No, I'm in love with you. But I guess you'll never know. What's the use. I won't see you again. Only a few weeks left before graduation. Before you leave. Before you go somewhere far, and build your future...without me.
______
Hmm, it seems really different from fics I've written years ago. Hope you like it! Don't hesitate to point out anything that bugs you from my writing! :) Tired of studying for exams. Just thought I'd contribute a bit.
length: oneshot,
rating: g,
g: romance,
fiction,
dbsk,
pairing: changmin/jaejoong,
g: angst