(no subject)

[sweetswit]

this is far more difficult than i imagined
and what i imagined was pretty difficult.
it is puzzling to tell myself that it'll never be the same,
a year passes so quickly
but if i think to the beginning of the year
it already seems decades in the past.
i have changed for the better because of you,
because of spending so much time with you,
and now because of distances it is impossible
to see you whenever i feel like it.
and that makes me sad
and mad
and jealous
and terrified
and i wish i had all the answers to the rest of my life
and your life
to see how it works out with you and me
but i don't have any answers
and that scares me the most.
so the most i can do is take it one day at a time
because that's what they all tell me to do
and keep in touch
on phones and computers and visits
to keep you close to me
maybe not as close as this past year
or maybe even closer
if we do it right
and although i can take care of myself,
i feel safer when you take care of me.