(no subject)
ok- my life has gone to shit. thats basically it. lemme think about this weekend. i'm gonna gon into details b/c i don't think there's a point to live journal and i don't give a damn about anything anymore- read on to find out why:
* FRIDAY* i went to banana joe's- of course it was alot of fun. i love hanging out with the girls- drinking and dancing at a random place is just a plus. so, friday i must admit was awesome. it was the best night i've had in awhile and probly will be the last for awhile.
* SATURDAY*
was the worst day of my life and still continues. i went to eat with alsia and loren for dinner, but of course they were stoned, which was cool i guess. then i went home to an empty house for an evening of lifetime movies.- gotta say, they're lifesavers! well, then my parents got home and all hell broke loose. i was scared out of my mind. my dad just started screaming at me for no fuckin' reason. well, i take that back- i LEFT my car in the wrong spot. whatta a great reason to scare your daughter to the point where i needed to get out of the house. but i couldn't leave b/c i couln't unlock the door cause i was shaking to much.so i just fell to floor b/c i was so scared and i couldn't think of anything else to do . i felt like a child- helpless and defenesless. and nobody was there to help me. i was going to call some one to pick me up, b/c my dad said if i left in his car the cops would come after me. and we all know i can't to be arrested. i wanted to call some one to talk to, but i have no friends, or at least any that would drop smokin' pot or somehow come un-drunk for 30min. to help out. so i just went in my room all night believe it or not- i cried alot. not because of my dad, but because i started to think about who i could really consider a friend. the only best friend i've ever actually had was this girl that moved like 3 years ago. so i thought some more about it- my best friend throughout high school has been laura, but she's taken a different road now. and anyone else i thought were my good friends have lives that revovle around smokin'. damn- what is the point of my life? does anyone ever ask that question? so i learned another lesson of life : THE ONLY PERSON YOU CAN DEPEND ON IS YOURSELF_ IF YOU CAN"T DEPEND ON YOURSELF, THEN YOUR FUCKED. and thats the point i'm at now....
* SUNDAY*
today i woke up and went to dance- and it was a relief for a while. but then i came home and wrecked my car. i lost my only place of refuge. so that's my life right now- no friends, basically no family, and w/o my car. maybe i'll update in a few months and see whats going on. until then- hope everyone else is having a wonderful life and has a great time at prom. peace
* FRIDAY* i went to banana joe's- of course it was alot of fun. i love hanging out with the girls- drinking and dancing at a random place is just a plus. so, friday i must admit was awesome. it was the best night i've had in awhile and probly will be the last for awhile.
* SATURDAY*
was the worst day of my life and still continues. i went to eat with alsia and loren for dinner, but of course they were stoned, which was cool i guess. then i went home to an empty house for an evening of lifetime movies.- gotta say, they're lifesavers! well, then my parents got home and all hell broke loose. i was scared out of my mind. my dad just started screaming at me for no fuckin' reason. well, i take that back- i LEFT my car in the wrong spot. whatta a great reason to scare your daughter to the point where i needed to get out of the house. but i couldn't leave b/c i couln't unlock the door cause i was shaking to much.so i just fell to floor b/c i was so scared and i couldn't think of anything else to do . i felt like a child- helpless and defenesless. and nobody was there to help me. i was going to call some one to pick me up, b/c my dad said if i left in his car the cops would come after me. and we all know i can't to be arrested. i wanted to call some one to talk to, but i have no friends, or at least any that would drop smokin' pot or somehow come un-drunk for 30min. to help out. so i just went in my room all night believe it or not- i cried alot. not because of my dad, but because i started to think about who i could really consider a friend. the only best friend i've ever actually had was this girl that moved like 3 years ago. so i thought some more about it- my best friend throughout high school has been laura, but she's taken a different road now. and anyone else i thought were my good friends have lives that revovle around smokin'. damn- what is the point of my life? does anyone ever ask that question? so i learned another lesson of life : THE ONLY PERSON YOU CAN DEPEND ON IS YOURSELF_ IF YOU CAN"T DEPEND ON YOURSELF, THEN YOUR FUCKED. and thats the point i'm at now....
* SUNDAY*
today i woke up and went to dance- and it was a relief for a while. but then i came home and wrecked my car. i lost my only place of refuge. so that's my life right now- no friends, basically no family, and w/o my car. maybe i'll update in a few months and see whats going on. until then- hope everyone else is having a wonderful life and has a great time at prom. peace