Abandoned
Title: Abandoned.... Part one of a three part series
Pairing: Keffy (Katie/Effy)
Rating: 15, little kissage people, LOTS of swearing, nothing to fret over... for this chapter anyway ;-)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Skins, if I did things would be a LOT different
Summary: Extended chat by the river... our girls feel more than friendship... they think.
I heard Effy coming over to sit with me. What the fuck does she want? Rub it in my fucking face that I just embarrassed myself in front of everyone? Not that, that bitch didn't deserve it. Fucking slag.
And god, I swear Freddie got a hard-on. Tosser. I swear they were about ready to shag before that happened.
She takes a spliff out of her tin and offers it to me. I say no to start with because seriously? Has she never heard of the big C word? Yeah... she's a cunt.
I take it anyway, chocking my first drag. Way to fucking embarrass yourself again Katie. Nice one.
She smiles at me. That bloody smi- Wait. Smile? Effy doesn't smile. Effy smirks or looks stoic. She doesn't smile.
She shows me how to inhale properly, pointing a finger on my chest and I look down, pretending to see where she means instead of noticing how close to my tit she was.
The second time I do it, it's so much smoother than the first, and I'm thankful. I'll take pills, I'll drink until the sun comes up. But Katie Fitch doesn't smoke.
Not that it could damage a baby I could ever have though.
I look down at the thought, play with the hem of my dress, pass Effy her release back.
I sit there for a second, thinking about how my life managed to get even more fucked up in the space of a morning. I can't help but wonder, as I look up at Effy. "So what's it like?"
She sighed out the smoke and looked at me. "What's what like?"
I'm staring into her eyes. Her bright, blue, ocean like- fucking hell Katie. What are you doing? I look away. "Love."
She looks down for a second. "Great." Well, that's... boring. "It's really... lovely." She looks away again. Ha! She doesn't like it.
"That sounded convincing." I reply sarcastically.
She looks up again, not quite meeting my eyes. "Fine." Her eyes are moving around in all directions, as if she's scared I may be the one person that could read her... she doesn't already know. I can. "Nothing's ever perfect." Well way to state the fucking obvious. She looks straight into my eyes again. She means she's not perfect. I could've told you that a while ago love. "You know?" Of course I fucking know. Why do fuck does she think I'm sat out here?
I plan on telling her that, but her eyes are boring straight into me. I don't know what possessed me to do it.
No, actually I do. It's those eyes. Those fucking eyes! They do things to you, make you think perverted things. I realise in this moment, I didn't give a fuck if she wanted to be with Freddie. I cared that his hands were going to be all over her... oh. Shit.
I tell her the truth. "I thought it could be. I wanted the perfect boyfriend, perfect marriage, perfect everything." I know her next question. I know her. So I get a little longer to think about my answer.
"What's changed?"
But what has changed? Nothing has changed. Yet everything has changed. I'm confused... I'm stepping into Emily's shoes liking girls... no, I like one girl. But everyone likes her. Everyone falls for her because she's Effy. There is no other reason. But I finally answer, the most simple, honest answer I can. "Me."
She's quiet. There wasn't really anything to say after that. She reaches over and grabs my hand. It's so soft. So warm. Comforting. I don't think half an hour ago I would've described Effy Stonem as any of those things.
But she is. I damn if I don't get those images again. This isn't good. I cannot fall for Effy! It's wrong. "I don't know who am I anymore." It's true. Just like it always is around her. Because it's just useless lying.
"I thought you were Katie fucking Fitch." I can't help but smile at that. I want to laugh because it's true. But that smirk is on her face. You all know the one. The smirk that would get you to jump of a bridge into deep water just because she dropped her fag.
I look up and down a few times, I can't look into her eyes, because I am Katie fucking Fitch, and Katie Fitch takes what she wants and if I look into those eyes, I'm going to be taking her to places that terrify me and excite me all at the same time.
To be honest, I really don't care about liking a girl, I've decided, it's got to be something worthwhile or Emily wouldn't like it so damn much right? It's just too fun to wind Naomi up.
But I can't look at her. It's too fucking much. And she'd probably hate me or something. I couldn't bare someone getting up and walking away from me.
Again.
"What are you scared of Katie?" Her hand is still on my own, her thumb drawing patterns. I don't even think she realises when she holds it that little bit tighter. I move my own to grasp hers fully, interlocking our fingers and leaving our hands at the top of my thigh. Her thumb now drawing patterns there instead.
Oh fuck.
I chance it, her gaze is too strong for me not to. I look, and everything melts away. There is a new intensity there. Reading everything, checking over and in between the lines. "Being abandoned." I whisper, a slight chocking tear escaping, but I'm still looking into her eyes.
She shuffles a little closer to me. I swear she looks at my lips, but it happens so fast I'm not sure. She brings her free hand up, wiping away a tear and pushing an invisible lock of hair behind my ear. Shuffles even closer. Her leg is against my own and this time I know she looks at my lips.
Another thing I'd never describe Effy as?
Shy.
She actually shyly smiles at me. "Katie?" She whispers, her voice beyond timid.
She's scared of being abandoned as well. She needs confirmation, giving me time to think. And all I can think to do is nod. Her lips are on my own in an instant. My god. Her lips are so soft. So, so soft and full and... soft and gentle and... soft and... fuck!
It's slow, it's deep and there is a slight desperation to it but that just makes it hotter.
Her weight moves onto me a little more, pushing me back and I moan at the cold floor, but it doesn't stay cold for long. She tastes so good. She's nipping and sliding with perfection.
Yes. Girls are better kissers than guys.
Who'd have thought I'd be in this position now. Not just friends with Effy. But having the girl on-fucking-top of me kissing the life out of me with what is the best kiss I've ever had.
My hands grip on her lower back, pulling her into me, and I don't even care that anyone could see us at any given minute, because this feels amazing.
It's over far too quickly for my liking though, when I hear a muttered 'fuck' and it was not out of pleasure.
She pulls herself off me and looks at her phone, rolling her eyes. "You have to go?" Jesus, my voice has never sounded so husky.
"Yeah I'm afraid so. But we will talk tomorrow yeah? You need to go sort things out with your family and I'm not always a good distraction." She winks at me, and I chuckle a bit. Then she looks serious at me. "We will talk tomorrow." I believe her. She leans back down, taking a hold of my chin and she stares into my eyes. "I'm not going to abandon you. I promise."
And I hope for once, she's one person that doesn't.