2 years
Tomorrow it will be 2 years since losing Joshua. I still don't feel like he's really gone. I know I say that all the time, but what if he isn't really, truly gone? What if he's on every gentle breeze, or in the glow around the clouds at sunset, or in the strains of a beautiful song, like I suspect he is?
Last year I went to Forest Falls with Justin to leave colorful gerberas in his memory. I was 4 months pregnant, and I couldn't stop crying except when I stopped to think about how comfortable I felt, how loved, as I was nestled among the large roots of a tree that was half in and half out of some rock. I know Josh loved me, and I'm sure I loved him more. I hope that whatever happens to us after we're gone, that love survives.
Tomorrow, I plan on having fun. Not partying or anything, just having a good time with close friends and going out to sushi with Justin and Rex. Spending time with good people, hopefully remembering to laugh and enjoy the day. Tomorrow I plan on honoring Josh's memory by trying to be happy.
Last year I went to Forest Falls with Justin to leave colorful gerberas in his memory. I was 4 months pregnant, and I couldn't stop crying except when I stopped to think about how comfortable I felt, how loved, as I was nestled among the large roots of a tree that was half in and half out of some rock. I know Josh loved me, and I'm sure I loved him more. I hope that whatever happens to us after we're gone, that love survives.
Tomorrow, I plan on having fun. Not partying or anything, just having a good time with close friends and going out to sushi with Justin and Rex. Spending time with good people, hopefully remembering to laugh and enjoy the day. Tomorrow I plan on honoring Josh's memory by trying to be happy.