Its been a long time.. shouln't have left you
well i know that its been over 10 weeks since i even visited the site and now that i have some time on my hands i figured that i should at least let you know that i am still alive and kicking. things in the past 10 weeks have been interesting to say the least. there have been people in the past that i have been able to let go of and there are people in my present that i wish that i could let go of, but they just wont go away no matter what.
since then i have completed my MBA and am in the process of getting a new job. i should be finding out in the next few days to see what will happen with that. if that does work in my favor, then things will certainly get better in more ways then one.
we are also moving back to DC. i must say that coming out here was the worst decision that could ever be made... you always have to acct in support of things when you are in a situation such as mine and even though you know its wrong, you have to be the shoulder for the other to lean on. although i have always had my reservations and i made them clear, i was always told that things will get better.. well guess what, it has not and as a result, i have lost close to $1300 and i am going right back to the same place where i was at the beginning of the year. its little shit like that that really grinds my gears. i hate it when others dont listen to me when i clearly know what teh fuck i am talking about. but nonetheless.. i see that what i have predicted has come to fruition and we will be back in DC where we began.
i dont have anything against the MIL, but you cannot have 2 very opinionated women under the same roof. there are things that she does that i dont agree with, but i am left biting my tongue because of the situation that i am in. well, no longer will i have to kow tow.. T minus 3 weeks and then i will be able to do what ever the hell it is that i want to do when i want to do it.
i think that its hard for him to comprehend that at times.. a woman's space is precious to her and she does not like it when it has been invaded by ANYONE. at least i can say that for myself... and the sad thing is.. i dont think that he will get it either.. i really dont think that he will be able to put 2+2 together.
in the interim, i am working on some things of my own... since i had already given a gracious gift to him, there will be no gifts this Christmas.. to be honest. i hate the way that people in general go out and spend all this money that they know that they dont have just to make someone else happy... the concept is great...making someone happy... but its the spending of the money that i dont get. me personally, i dont want anything that will cause you to realign your budget. the real meaning of the holidays is on family and celecrating the birth of Christ.. not how much money you spend on a Christmas gift. so that is the reason i am not going to break my wallet this year.. my mother is not one that really wants for much. she is happy with the fact that i will be with her in a few weeks. that is all she ever really wanted; and because of the way that i was raised, i can appreciate the smaller things in life. i am grateful that she is still on this earth with me and that she has been my rock through all the shit that i haev been through in the recent years. there is no amount of money that can ever amount to what it is that she has done for me.
some people are just so materialistic that it drives me up the wall.. the MIL is just that way. she is so concerned about what other people think and all that jazz that she is just about to place herself in thepoor hose keepin up with "The Jones'".. hell naw for me... i would much rather wait until i am able to do so.
there were plans that were in the works, but due to some change in plans.. they will take a lot longer to acheive then originally calculated. its alright though.. one thing that my mother taught me was to always have a back up plan.. no matter what and that is what i am working on. he thinks that i will let him take me back to where i was when i was in college, well that is not going to ever happen to me again. i was never taught those life lessons when i was growing up. i pretty much had to fend for myself. that may be the reason why i am in the situation that i am in right now. but i will do what i have to do to ensure that i will and forever will be taken care of.
sitting here and typing all this makes me really contemplate on what has and is going on in my life.. there needs to be a revamp of all the negative shit that is in my life. i already began to clean house. some people were not happy about it and others knew that it was coming. all in all.. you need to go. its bad enough that things were the way that they were initially, now its my time to control what has been happening in my life.. if you can hang then you need to step. if you are not part of the solution then you are part of the problem.
making those cuts really hurt, but the good thing is that they understood where i was coming from and realized that we all had to distance ourselves from the situation. now that it has been done.. things are beginning to fall into place for all parties involved. i will all of the fallen ones the best and pray that they achieve all that they want in life.
for those that do remain, its time for us to see that we need each other more then ever.. without each other, we will not make it. there are very few people that i let into my life... i have realized that there are some that will say that they have your best interest at heart and then when shit is hard, they will be the first ones to tell you that "they told you so" and toss that shit in your face. they claim that they are there to support you , but they are the main ones that will tear you down and make you feel bad for what is hapening to you. i have learned the hard way that you must be choosy with who you let into your "house" not everyone really cares about you and everything that is said should be taken for face value and nothing more.. now, there are others that will still give you the same advice, but their mannerisms are entirely different from those previously mentioned. it makes you look at people differently. i have always been someone that loves to give you the benefit of the doubt.. but in the end i get made to look like an ass.
one of these days, i will learn my lesson. i am starting with now.. that is all that i can control anything outside of that i would have to wipe my hands clean of. i am tired of being made a fool of from my "friends" now i can see why so many have left our "circle of friends". but alas... opinions are like ass holes, everyone has one so in the end its up to you whether you want to take heed to it or not.
since then i have completed my MBA and am in the process of getting a new job. i should be finding out in the next few days to see what will happen with that. if that does work in my favor, then things will certainly get better in more ways then one.
we are also moving back to DC. i must say that coming out here was the worst decision that could ever be made... you always have to acct in support of things when you are in a situation such as mine and even though you know its wrong, you have to be the shoulder for the other to lean on. although i have always had my reservations and i made them clear, i was always told that things will get better.. well guess what, it has not and as a result, i have lost close to $1300 and i am going right back to the same place where i was at the beginning of the year. its little shit like that that really grinds my gears. i hate it when others dont listen to me when i clearly know what teh fuck i am talking about. but nonetheless.. i see that what i have predicted has come to fruition and we will be back in DC where we began.
i dont have anything against the MIL, but you cannot have 2 very opinionated women under the same roof. there are things that she does that i dont agree with, but i am left biting my tongue because of the situation that i am in. well, no longer will i have to kow tow.. T minus 3 weeks and then i will be able to do what ever the hell it is that i want to do when i want to do it.
i think that its hard for him to comprehend that at times.. a woman's space is precious to her and she does not like it when it has been invaded by ANYONE. at least i can say that for myself... and the sad thing is.. i dont think that he will get it either.. i really dont think that he will be able to put 2+2 together.
in the interim, i am working on some things of my own... since i had already given a gracious gift to him, there will be no gifts this Christmas.. to be honest. i hate the way that people in general go out and spend all this money that they know that they dont have just to make someone else happy... the concept is great...making someone happy... but its the spending of the money that i dont get. me personally, i dont want anything that will cause you to realign your budget. the real meaning of the holidays is on family and celecrating the birth of Christ.. not how much money you spend on a Christmas gift. so that is the reason i am not going to break my wallet this year.. my mother is not one that really wants for much. she is happy with the fact that i will be with her in a few weeks. that is all she ever really wanted; and because of the way that i was raised, i can appreciate the smaller things in life. i am grateful that she is still on this earth with me and that she has been my rock through all the shit that i haev been through in the recent years. there is no amount of money that can ever amount to what it is that she has done for me.
some people are just so materialistic that it drives me up the wall.. the MIL is just that way. she is so concerned about what other people think and all that jazz that she is just about to place herself in thepoor hose keepin up with "The Jones'".. hell naw for me... i would much rather wait until i am able to do so.
there were plans that were in the works, but due to some change in plans.. they will take a lot longer to acheive then originally calculated. its alright though.. one thing that my mother taught me was to always have a back up plan.. no matter what and that is what i am working on. he thinks that i will let him take me back to where i was when i was in college, well that is not going to ever happen to me again. i was never taught those life lessons when i was growing up. i pretty much had to fend for myself. that may be the reason why i am in the situation that i am in right now. but i will do what i have to do to ensure that i will and forever will be taken care of.
sitting here and typing all this makes me really contemplate on what has and is going on in my life.. there needs to be a revamp of all the negative shit that is in my life. i already began to clean house. some people were not happy about it and others knew that it was coming. all in all.. you need to go. its bad enough that things were the way that they were initially, now its my time to control what has been happening in my life.. if you can hang then you need to step. if you are not part of the solution then you are part of the problem.
making those cuts really hurt, but the good thing is that they understood where i was coming from and realized that we all had to distance ourselves from the situation. now that it has been done.. things are beginning to fall into place for all parties involved. i will all of the fallen ones the best and pray that they achieve all that they want in life.
for those that do remain, its time for us to see that we need each other more then ever.. without each other, we will not make it. there are very few people that i let into my life... i have realized that there are some that will say that they have your best interest at heart and then when shit is hard, they will be the first ones to tell you that "they told you so" and toss that shit in your face. they claim that they are there to support you , but they are the main ones that will tear you down and make you feel bad for what is hapening to you. i have learned the hard way that you must be choosy with who you let into your "house" not everyone really cares about you and everything that is said should be taken for face value and nothing more.. now, there are others that will still give you the same advice, but their mannerisms are entirely different from those previously mentioned. it makes you look at people differently. i have always been someone that loves to give you the benefit of the doubt.. but in the end i get made to look like an ass.
one of these days, i will learn my lesson. i am starting with now.. that is all that i can control anything outside of that i would have to wipe my hands clean of. i am tired of being made a fool of from my "friends" now i can see why so many have left our "circle of friends". but alas... opinions are like ass holes, everyone has one so in the end its up to you whether you want to take heed to it or not.