one step foward...2 steps back
is this really her life...
is he really gone?
its almost an out of body experience
coming home to a lifeless house day after day
this cant be her life
it cant be real
all she has to do is wake up from this dream
from this nightmare
from the emptiness
start walking...
no...
more like running away from this big black hole
that just seems to get bigger...
and bigger...
and bigger...
before it completely consumes her
reality in this world has yet to sink in
theres still that hope that on saturday morning he'll come pounding on her door at 11 in the morning yelling at her to get outside and help
she longs for it so badly
so badly she'll almost do absolutely anything to get it back
she hopes he can see here now
see how much shes grown
sees how much she will grow
her only fear is that hes never gonna watch it happen
she knows his spirit is here with her
but thats never good enough
it never will be enough to satisfy
to satisify her hurt
her pain
her suffering
her lonliness
she sits alone at night and thinks about him
about how much he really did love her
how what she would have done differently those last few months
if she would have known they were his last
all the petty aspects of life would have been pushed aside
this one particular memory occurs over and over in her head
of a wonderful visit to his work
she suprised him with subway
he was so happy to see her
just hearing those words come out of his mouth
"hey punk!"
that was his nickname for her
she misses hearing it
misses it so much
with every bone in her body wishes she could just hear it one more time
this cant be her life
it cant be
its a lie
she needs to wake up
someone slap her please
splash her with cold water
give her some smelling salts
something anything please
make it go back to the way it was
the way it used to be
please tell me this life isnt mine
tell me im living someone elses
tell me im insane and everything im imagining
and living
and seeing
and dreaming
and thinking about
is all just in my head
bring him back...
please
thats all i want
just to be able to see his face
touch his face
smell the smell of his cigarettes on his clothes
hear his voice
look into his eyes
and tell him i love him
with everything i am
i only have one daddy
and hes gone
why me?
why now?
why couldnt it have been someone else?
no daddy daughter dances to look forward to
only to dream about
whats gonna happen when that song starts playing on her wedding night?
just bring him back
just for one night
please?
its the only thing ill ever ask
the only thing ill ever ask you for again
the last thing ill ever ask for