sweetheart........??
I keep missin my sweety online..but then again lately I haven't been feelin good so I do have a excuse on why I haven't been online like I normally am in the mornings, but she understands. I have a allergic reaction to my purfume right now, it sucks!! I hate it when things like that happen..it feels like I can manage to just claw my skin right off since it itches sooo damn badly!!
By this time next week I will be in Cali for a wk! I am soo excited, but sooo worried about gettin on a plane to see my bestfriend Dave. He said well just think of how you are goin to be comin to see me and you won't be scared! I was thinkin in the back of my head, just think about how damn drunk I will be when you get there to pick me up! LOL I just really am terrified to fly with everything that has happend on planes and also just the fear of droppin out of the sky I think.
I miss all my friends, and I miss my Guinny, and I donno I am just really sad right now for many of reasons. My grandma isn't any better, and she won't be gettin better..and well I should be happy about this vacation because it's somethin I need badly! But I just have this feelin that when I do go to Cali that something bad is gonna happen while I am away..just is my luck!! But I also have been worried about when I am gonna be able to see Guinny again, because I won't be able to see her when she gets off the plane from Madrid since I will still be in Cali and it just makes me know that I probably won't be able to see her until she either starts school or when I get my money together from taxes to get a flight. My folks keep tryin to convince me to go move to Cali and I don't think I could manage to do that one, espically and leaving everyone and everything important to me behind? Yes I have moved places away from everyone, but I am never really that far, and Cali is really across the country, and I don't think I can manage to walk away from things and people that mean everyhing to me! It would be different if I had others comin with me..but I don't..so its like I donno if I manage to leave.
My heart just is really hurtin right now, I know I should be happy because my gf loves me and I love her and we will soon be with each other but I just do feel like there is this hole in my heart.
By this time next week I will be in Cali for a wk! I am soo excited, but sooo worried about gettin on a plane to see my bestfriend Dave. He said well just think of how you are goin to be comin to see me and you won't be scared! I was thinkin in the back of my head, just think about how damn drunk I will be when you get there to pick me up! LOL I just really am terrified to fly with everything that has happend on planes and also just the fear of droppin out of the sky I think.
I miss all my friends, and I miss my Guinny, and I donno I am just really sad right now for many of reasons. My grandma isn't any better, and she won't be gettin better..and well I should be happy about this vacation because it's somethin I need badly! But I just have this feelin that when I do go to Cali that something bad is gonna happen while I am away..just is my luck!! But I also have been worried about when I am gonna be able to see Guinny again, because I won't be able to see her when she gets off the plane from Madrid since I will still be in Cali and it just makes me know that I probably won't be able to see her until she either starts school or when I get my money together from taxes to get a flight. My folks keep tryin to convince me to go move to Cali and I don't think I could manage to do that one, espically and leaving everyone and everything important to me behind? Yes I have moved places away from everyone, but I am never really that far, and Cali is really across the country, and I don't think I can manage to walk away from things and people that mean everyhing to me! It would be different if I had others comin with me..but I don't..so its like I donno if I manage to leave.
My heart just is really hurtin right now, I know I should be happy because my gf loves me and I love her and we will soon be with each other but I just do feel like there is this hole in my heart.