Anxiety
I have known for a long time that I am an anxious person. I come by it honestly, seemingly through both nature and nurture. But the stresses caused by this pandemic and long (endless!) stretch of social distancing have wreaked havoc on my body. Palpitations, panic attacks, apathy, sadness, unmanageable GERD. An almost constant feeling of a lump in my chest, a feeling that I could weep for days before running dry, a feeling of emotional constipation of all the unprocessed pain I've accumulated. The stress has reached a breaking point.
I feel like a psychological wreck, and it's finally starting to manifest in my physiology. The GERD and related asthma are very unsettling, and I'm just not sure I can keep living like this. Chronic GERD can have very serious consequences. I came here to make a list for myself of ideas to combat anxiety.
Anxiety Reduction - In the Moment:
Taking a deep breath, tongue on the roof of my mouth. Learn more about the vagus nerve and how to switch from fight/flight to rest+digest.
4:8 breathing. Exhale twice as long. 4 in, 4 hold, 8 out...
I'm intrigued by the idea of using some of the same self-relaxation techniques that helped me during labor and childbirth. Visualizing the cool ocean currents washing me and helping me unclench. Opening my palms and sensing each fingertip. Consciously relaxing every taut muscle in my body and making myself as heavy as possible. I am proud of the self-mastery I had in childbirth and wonder if I could reapply that strength to my battle with daily anxiety.
First, I will need to get better at recognizing the anxious response and use some self-talk to take charge of the moment. Sometimes it helps to say, "Right now, I am okay."
Anxiety Reduction - Habits:
Steady, plodding movement, like taking a walk
Playing soothing (but not overly emotional) music
Spending time outdoors, witnessing tiny signs of nature in the backyard
Getting absorbed in a project, like editing photos, taking pictures, working in the garden
Using puzzles, comedy, TV, and yoga as enjoyable, relaxing activities
Possibly withdrawing from social media and reading less news
Resolving the tension that has formed between us and Jeff's parents
Singing