My dads B-day
This weekend is my dads birthday and I don't want it to happen.
I don't want it to happen because I know that he is getting older. He's already in his seventies. The older he gets, the more age tells on him. I know that is an obvious comment but my father is old. His health is good but he is not what he used to be when I was a little girl. I love my father more than anyone in this world and I fear his aging. I do not fear it because of the fact that he will one day need me to take care of him. It will be an honor to take care of him!! I fear it because I'm afraid of he... not being around when I need him!!! I KNOW that I should not think of these things but I can't help it. He's old, and my life is just beginning. I can't imagine him not being apart of it. I sometime feel guilty that I do not spend enough time with him. I fear that I will regret it when he is gone.
I get upset thinking that he still has to work in order to help me out in college. He should not have to work. I know he likes it and it keeps him busy, but my father should be home babysitting his grandchildren.... and that's another thing!!!!
What about my kids!!!??? I can't and will not have children until I am finished with college, married, and financially stable. The thing is that I want my kids to know their grandfather.
YES, I know that there is a possibility that my father may live until he is 100. However, I never knew my grandparents... and I'm afraid that history will repeat itself in my family.
This Sunday, my dads birthday, I want him to know just how much I love and appreciate him. I really don't know I'm going to do that, but I will! I've got to go now... I'm getting way too upset.
I don't want it to happen because I know that he is getting older. He's already in his seventies. The older he gets, the more age tells on him. I know that is an obvious comment but my father is old. His health is good but he is not what he used to be when I was a little girl. I love my father more than anyone in this world and I fear his aging. I do not fear it because of the fact that he will one day need me to take care of him. It will be an honor to take care of him!! I fear it because I'm afraid of he... not being around when I need him!!! I KNOW that I should not think of these things but I can't help it. He's old, and my life is just beginning. I can't imagine him not being apart of it. I sometime feel guilty that I do not spend enough time with him. I fear that I will regret it when he is gone.
I get upset thinking that he still has to work in order to help me out in college. He should not have to work. I know he likes it and it keeps him busy, but my father should be home babysitting his grandchildren.... and that's another thing!!!!
What about my kids!!!??? I can't and will not have children until I am finished with college, married, and financially stable. The thing is that I want my kids to know their grandfather.
YES, I know that there is a possibility that my father may live until he is 100. However, I never knew my grandparents... and I'm afraid that history will repeat itself in my family.
This Sunday, my dads birthday, I want him to know just how much I love and appreciate him. I really don't know I'm going to do that, but I will! I've got to go now... I'm getting way too upset.