Anti-Fandom Wankage: LIVE IN THE NOW LOOSERS!
Who says the laws of Slash and Fandom do not apply in real life?
I don't know much but I do know this.
Soccer is one of the most unintentionally homoerotic sport ever invented in the history of mankind. Period.
Sure this may be a very broad generarlization but hear me out! I don' intend to offend anyone I just see a lot of connection between two big things in my life. Slash and Soccer.
Watching a few major league games in the Euro Cup division a few days ago I was astounded at the amount of MAN TOUCHING going on!
As a Latin American living in a Western Country where there is a large amount of ignorance about "The World Game". It is ritual for the men to watch the 6 hour-long coverage on SBS and god forbid they'd miss a second of it. Likewise the women have to endure game after game of the WUSSIEST MEN in the WORLD kick balls into goals and do that silly "I'm a little aeroplane" showboating thing they do.
Back in the 70's when there was a big wave of Italian, Spanish, Latin American and Greek immigration. The only sport they held sacred was Soccer or "La Footboll" (Note: That is NOT a typo that is just how "Football" is pronounced you fucking grammanazis!) and had no desire to even attempt something as soul-less as cricket or something as barbaric as rugby. (That and their *mummies* wouldn't let them!) *snicker*
The ignorant Australian then decided that the only people who play Soccer were "Wogs, Sheilas and Poofters"
Wog: A person of Greek, Spanish, Latin, Lebanese Origin
Sheila: A sissy girl
Poofters: A "faggot"
Back in the day all these terms were derogative to the minority group in question but these days a lot of people refer to themselves as "Wog" as something to be proud of. Kind of like how the word "queer" has been turned around by the gay communities of the world. Anyways back to my rant.
Soccer is so unintentionally laced with platonic man touching that my slash-addled brain doesn’t mind watching preliminaries to tournaments I couldn't give a rat’s arse about.
When anyone scores a goal in Soccer the whole team decides to chase after the scorer half way across the field (mind you he's busy showboating and punching his fist in the air) until the all pile up on top of him. Kisses (both Euro cheek and MOUTH), amorous hugs, MEN TOUCHING OTHER MEN'S BOTTOMS... come World Cup time I just don't know what I'll do with myself!
To sum up - if you're really stuck for some unexpected man touching - don't sit around waiting for your next fix of OZ or grab for sticks in the LOST plot holes. Watch some Soccer. A game that has united nations in the spirit of sport, destroys the social barriers between the rich and the poor and most importantly of all keeps sexually frustrated slash fans salivating for more as yet another black and white ball bounces past the keepers knees...