Landmass the size of Victoria with the Population of Mumbai on it.
Mum: You would have been so happy if we never came to Australia and stayed in El Salvador
Me: I'm sure I would have died by then, and or be at least 300 pounds, depressed and hoping that I would die soon.
Well I am depressed now but at least here theres no stimga in going to shrinks, finding free clinics and queer outreaches. The only queer outreach in ELS is suicide.
Ely: We would have been rich if we stayed in El Salvador leeching off Grandpa's money
Me: I'd rather be poor in Australia than rich in El Salvador. As far as I'm concerned all the volcanos could explode and the whole miserable landmass could sink into the sea.
(Ironicly self aware that she knows she would have died at child birth if we did stay)
I hate this whole perception of the immagrent story, that you long for Mother Russia and going back to discover your 'roots' is something to build an identity on. One question commonly asked prior to my first trip back to THE MOTHERLAND was if I'd returned to the mother land yet? It was the 90s then and the civil unrest of the late 80s hadn't been tamped down yet so no - heck, that was the reason my family bolted in the first place.
I have an identity, brown tiny person, Australia, queer, enjoyer of Ritz crackers, thief of all Ritz crackers at gallery openings, afficinado of modern designer Slash goggles and Lolita. Sure I enjoy my tipicos (= traditional foods), bawling Mariachi songs about killing ungreatful women, speak Spanish and appreciate good hammock but immagrent =/= the full extent of who I am. It may have coloured my experience in different ways but I dont feel like I MUST embrace it. There's a lot in my ELS culture that I don't want to embrace.