take a sad song and make it better
i am in a really weird mood today. Maybe its because I'm tired as all get out. yay for almost no sleep this weekend. its just a strange feeling of some kind. things are changing all over the place. I know I should have expected it. I knew things weren't always going to stay the same, I don't want them to stay the same. But I don't know, I feel cold about it. or something. empty.
I feel a little alone. But not necessarily bad lonely. Just different. but kind of sad. I want someone. But I feel like I've worked so hard to prove to myself that I can be independent and not burden other people, that even if the right someone came along I wouldn't be ready for it.
I feel like all my friendships are changing, growing but all of them in so many different ways. I am not as exclusive with some, not as dependent on some but becoming closer with others. Its strange. but new friends make me happy. better friendships make me happy too. healthy ones.
I'm glad I have school, even though I feel like its kicking my ass right about now. I would have died without it these past few months. It helped me survive. If I thought I learned a lot about myself last year, I had no idea. I feel like I've had more, albeit a quieter, growth this semester. I stretched myself, and felt both the rewards and the problems with that. Acting fufills me like nothing else, and I am really happy that I have finally figured that out.
I miss carefree days. I miss my family. I miss...I don't know a lot. I hate competition, awkward situations, and problems. I want a hug.
I feel old, above petty drama that keeps happening. Zach called me an old soul once, and I heartily agree. But yet I try so hard to be "young" to fit in or something. I don't know why. I am this old soul who can't find someone "old" to be with, so I just try and be young too, or something. Who the fuck knows. Not me.
well thats enough sarah craziness for now. i need sleep i think. or an amazing hug.
I feel a little alone. But not necessarily bad lonely. Just different. but kind of sad. I want someone. But I feel like I've worked so hard to prove to myself that I can be independent and not burden other people, that even if the right someone came along I wouldn't be ready for it.
I feel like all my friendships are changing, growing but all of them in so many different ways. I am not as exclusive with some, not as dependent on some but becoming closer with others. Its strange. but new friends make me happy. better friendships make me happy too. healthy ones.
I'm glad I have school, even though I feel like its kicking my ass right about now. I would have died without it these past few months. It helped me survive. If I thought I learned a lot about myself last year, I had no idea. I feel like I've had more, albeit a quieter, growth this semester. I stretched myself, and felt both the rewards and the problems with that. Acting fufills me like nothing else, and I am really happy that I have finally figured that out.
I miss carefree days. I miss my family. I miss...I don't know a lot. I hate competition, awkward situations, and problems. I want a hug.
I feel old, above petty drama that keeps happening. Zach called me an old soul once, and I heartily agree. But yet I try so hard to be "young" to fit in or something. I don't know why. I am this old soul who can't find someone "old" to be with, so I just try and be young too, or something. Who the fuck knows. Not me.
well thats enough sarah craziness for now. i need sleep i think. or an amazing hug.