A lot has been going on...
Okay, so I knew I had to come here and post about it eventually. Just hear me out before you post "what were you thinking?"
So I quit the job at Audiences Unlimited.
I had a long talk with my mom and spent the whole night thinking. My parents are helping to support me right now, they pay two of my largest bills, which is something I have a hard time with. I want to pay my own bills, and I want a job that can guarantee me that. Basically I spent the whole night considering giving up on the entertainment industry for at least right now. I'm looking in all of the wrong places and I think I might just be selling myself short. Working for Audiences *may* give me some chances to meet people while I work between now and April, but here's the thing, it may not. Every week my hours would vary, some weeks 8 hours, some 25, maybe less, maybe more. Therefore getting another part time job would mean one of them would have to be flexible in order to be wherever to work. MY problem is, is that I'm a person of routine (as most humans are), but I'm a really bad sufferer of anxiety and the need ot have everything in order. Worrying week to week about hours and if I'm just wasting my time, is not what I want.
Also, in April, say I haven't met anyone and the season ends. Now I'm back to square one where I've been this summer looking for a full time job. Basically I can't let any more time go by than it has, cause the longer I don't find a job that pays well, the longer I delay my future. My future meaning working my way towards a good paying job, benefits, and the money I need to save to get married and buy a house. Right now I'm at such a pivitol point in my life that I don't have much more time to waste, sitting back, waiting for someone to offer me a job.
So I've made the decision that I'm going to work wherever, full time, for no less than 11 dollars an hour, and in the meanwhile, keep sending out resumes and gaining more knowledge and maybe, just maybe, in a couple years is when I'll get my break in the industry. Waiting for it to happen and not working or just working for peanuts, it's just prolonging everything even longer than need be. So my goal is to work somewhere that pays really well and I like, or somewhere that will look good on my resume when I decide to start applying within the industry.
Which brings me to the temp agency. As much as I hate temping my mom reminded me of one thing: in temping and with a degree, I can basically name what I want to do. I can say I want to be an assistant, not a data entry clerk or a filing clerk. I can tell them that I'm looking for a job at places I'm interested in or places that will help me get into the industry. i.e. advertising, marketing, pr, promo. Things I'm interested in: real estate, legal, travel. If I go to the temp agency in Valencia I went to last summer, I'm sure they can find me something - and, I can tell them I want something that will become permanent. And this is where I will be going on Monday.
I want to be an adult. Working part time for next to nothing, or working two part time jobs for nothing is not what I want. As much as people keep saying "well Megan you have to do what you have to do to make it in this industry..." THIS IS WHAT I'M SAYING TO YOU. It's not worth it. It's not worth my happiness and my ability to provide for this family. If I'm happy and I'm doing what pays the bills then why not?
Of course if someone called me right now from ABC and offered me a job I wouldn't blink twice, and I won't. Cause I'm still gonna keep at it, applying for certain jobs and gaining experience outside the industry. I have confidence that whatever I'm meant to do or be in this world, I will accomplish it. Unfortunetly Jeff and I have to work hard for what we want and we have to make the best choices that would suit us well for where we are right now. We don't have the comfort of someone else paying the bills for us for the rest of our lives. We want to be adults, go out to dinner, go to plays, go to mueseums, go and travel and do things. We're not happy how we are now, scrounging by and trying to make ends meet. And waiting until April is just prolonging everything all because "maybe someone will offer me a job."
My dream may be to work in the industry, but my dream is to also raise a family, travel, and be happy and right now, the industry is shattering those other dreams.
---------------
I don't know if all of that made sense. It seems everyone I've told lately what I plan to do, they just don't understand and my goal is to make everyone understand. Because right now I need support more than anything, cause when I don't have my friends and family supporting me, I might as well not try at all. Sometimes it just takes putting your feet in my shoes to maybe see what I'm going through.
Onto other things...
We went down to meet Jeff's parents today at the Los Angeles County Mueseum of Art and the La Brea tar pits. We had fun down there, accept my shoes were killing me lol. Then we went to Hollywood and Highland and looked around, ate something, and went to the Chinese Theater to see "The Manchurian Candidate." It's been a really busy day :-) It was nice to go do something though. Really nice.
We went to see Harry Potter on the IMAX the other day. I haven't seen it since I finished Book 3. I love the movie, I really do, I just wish they could include as much back story as in the book. But learning about film and such in my classes I know it is not possible and I understand where and why they have to cut what they do. Rumor has it Goblet of Fire may be 4 hours with an intermission because the book is so long. That'd be kick ass. Strange thing, Daniel Radcliffe, why can't he be 18 so it would be okay to think he's adorable? Let me just say this, he's gonna be a real hottie when he's about 21. I'll have two kids by then and married haha, but oh well lol.
Well I think that's it. Jeff will be working all weekend, so I'm sure I'll be back.
Thanks to everyone who read this. I really need some friends right now to let me know I'm not going insane and that everything will be ok. I appreciate it if you made it all the way through. Love yahs.
So I quit the job at Audiences Unlimited.
I had a long talk with my mom and spent the whole night thinking. My parents are helping to support me right now, they pay two of my largest bills, which is something I have a hard time with. I want to pay my own bills, and I want a job that can guarantee me that. Basically I spent the whole night considering giving up on the entertainment industry for at least right now. I'm looking in all of the wrong places and I think I might just be selling myself short. Working for Audiences *may* give me some chances to meet people while I work between now and April, but here's the thing, it may not. Every week my hours would vary, some weeks 8 hours, some 25, maybe less, maybe more. Therefore getting another part time job would mean one of them would have to be flexible in order to be wherever to work. MY problem is, is that I'm a person of routine (as most humans are), but I'm a really bad sufferer of anxiety and the need ot have everything in order. Worrying week to week about hours and if I'm just wasting my time, is not what I want.
Also, in April, say I haven't met anyone and the season ends. Now I'm back to square one where I've been this summer looking for a full time job. Basically I can't let any more time go by than it has, cause the longer I don't find a job that pays well, the longer I delay my future. My future meaning working my way towards a good paying job, benefits, and the money I need to save to get married and buy a house. Right now I'm at such a pivitol point in my life that I don't have much more time to waste, sitting back, waiting for someone to offer me a job.
So I've made the decision that I'm going to work wherever, full time, for no less than 11 dollars an hour, and in the meanwhile, keep sending out resumes and gaining more knowledge and maybe, just maybe, in a couple years is when I'll get my break in the industry. Waiting for it to happen and not working or just working for peanuts, it's just prolonging everything even longer than need be. So my goal is to work somewhere that pays really well and I like, or somewhere that will look good on my resume when I decide to start applying within the industry.
Which brings me to the temp agency. As much as I hate temping my mom reminded me of one thing: in temping and with a degree, I can basically name what I want to do. I can say I want to be an assistant, not a data entry clerk or a filing clerk. I can tell them that I'm looking for a job at places I'm interested in or places that will help me get into the industry. i.e. advertising, marketing, pr, promo. Things I'm interested in: real estate, legal, travel. If I go to the temp agency in Valencia I went to last summer, I'm sure they can find me something - and, I can tell them I want something that will become permanent. And this is where I will be going on Monday.
I want to be an adult. Working part time for next to nothing, or working two part time jobs for nothing is not what I want. As much as people keep saying "well Megan you have to do what you have to do to make it in this industry..." THIS IS WHAT I'M SAYING TO YOU. It's not worth it. It's not worth my happiness and my ability to provide for this family. If I'm happy and I'm doing what pays the bills then why not?
Of course if someone called me right now from ABC and offered me a job I wouldn't blink twice, and I won't. Cause I'm still gonna keep at it, applying for certain jobs and gaining experience outside the industry. I have confidence that whatever I'm meant to do or be in this world, I will accomplish it. Unfortunetly Jeff and I have to work hard for what we want and we have to make the best choices that would suit us well for where we are right now. We don't have the comfort of someone else paying the bills for us for the rest of our lives. We want to be adults, go out to dinner, go to plays, go to mueseums, go and travel and do things. We're not happy how we are now, scrounging by and trying to make ends meet. And waiting until April is just prolonging everything all because "maybe someone will offer me a job."
My dream may be to work in the industry, but my dream is to also raise a family, travel, and be happy and right now, the industry is shattering those other dreams.
---------------
I don't know if all of that made sense. It seems everyone I've told lately what I plan to do, they just don't understand and my goal is to make everyone understand. Because right now I need support more than anything, cause when I don't have my friends and family supporting me, I might as well not try at all. Sometimes it just takes putting your feet in my shoes to maybe see what I'm going through.
Onto other things...
We went down to meet Jeff's parents today at the Los Angeles County Mueseum of Art and the La Brea tar pits. We had fun down there, accept my shoes were killing me lol. Then we went to Hollywood and Highland and looked around, ate something, and went to the Chinese Theater to see "The Manchurian Candidate." It's been a really busy day :-) It was nice to go do something though. Really nice.
We went to see Harry Potter on the IMAX the other day. I haven't seen it since I finished Book 3. I love the movie, I really do, I just wish they could include as much back story as in the book. But learning about film and such in my classes I know it is not possible and I understand where and why they have to cut what they do. Rumor has it Goblet of Fire may be 4 hours with an intermission because the book is so long. That'd be kick ass. Strange thing, Daniel Radcliffe, why can't he be 18 so it would be okay to think he's adorable? Let me just say this, he's gonna be a real hottie when he's about 21. I'll have two kids by then and married haha, but oh well lol.
Well I think that's it. Jeff will be working all weekend, so I'm sure I'll be back.
Thanks to everyone who read this. I really need some friends right now to let me know I'm not going insane and that everything will be ok. I appreciate it if you made it all the way through. Love yahs.