Lost in the motions!

[sweetpeakissesu]

This morning I got up with the sound of my alarm clock beeping, that aweful sound to hear first in the mornings. Its not a pleasent way to wake. Then I rush to brush my teeth and get ready to my first class. I have to walk across campus for, but I can't walk through the middle, but school rules are taht you have to walk around the damn feild that sits in the middle of that path way to class. Soon as I walk out side another not so lovely good morning, its raining and I have to walk in total unprepared; this sucks. Then once I get to the building that my class is in, i come to find that it is locked, great! Well some nice little army guy saw me standing out in the poor weather conditions and let me in. Thank God! Well I walk up to the third floor and sit in my blazing hot class room and wait for the teacher to come in. I sit there thinking about my dreams that I had that night, wishing that they would indeed come true, just lost in wonder land i guess you could say. Then in comes my teacher, she is dressed nicer today than usual, i wonder why, but she is always dressed in warmer clothes, and I wonder if she has forgotten how hot that room gets. Anyways, she starts out with a bang. Lets analyze these poems she said. Great, something i'm not very good at, then she calls upon me to read it. Its in old english, i'm gonna mess up! But wow, I did great. Read the whole thing with out one little problem. Well this is good, then as a class we start to pick apart this poem, searching for meaning between the lines. These words, each with their own meaning come to be the words of an angery man speaking of the titanic. He talks about the people as material things and not as them being human. He seemed so upset and pissed at these people for dying and not have ever done anything with their lives or money besides make themselves happy. Well as pointless as the whole entry maybe, I discovered in class that indeed so many people go through lief, just going through the motions with out doing anything important. No one stops to smell the flowers, or to see the amazing works that God has done, nothing. Its just what can I do to make my life easier, what can I do to make my life more fun, better for me. Its crazy, where did the humanity go? Anyways... Enough of that...
I am falling in love, which might be the source for all these silly and meaningless thoughts. I can't go one moment with out thinking of him, everything in one way or another remindes me of him. I talked to my oldest sister last night about it, curious to know what is right to do and what is wround, i mean with the ways of telling him that I'm in love with him. Should i be the first to say it, or should he, or does it matter? Why do all these things bother me? Why do things have to be perfect! I just don't want to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing a freak him out or scare him off... of course than i think that this is stupid because if I can't act myself around him and tell him how I truely feel than its pointless, Right! Like what is the point if you can't be honest with the person that you care the most about! Oh well... just a bunch of thoughts, not sure if they have answers, even tho i would love to have them all answered.
Well talk to yall later!