we are at fashion bug...
ok so can things please get even more fucked up than they already are? please? i have no idea what the hell is going on lately but i know that i dont like it one bit. anyone who knows me can agree that there are many things in life that annoy me and few things that actually piss me off and make me mad.i uaually let the annoying things go but the other things most definetly i will not. do not put words in my mouth. if you want to piss me off then that will do it. do not accuse me of things if you dont have your story straight.i think that one is even bigger than the one before. if you accuse me of something then you had better have all your facts and they most certialn be correct. dont use the "N" word. its rude, ignorant and extremely disrespectful. so yeah if you are looking for a way to piss me off here you go. i suggest for your benefit never ever to try these things though because there is a good possibility that you will no longer be a part of my life if you do.
where is this all coming from you ask? well it started with an accusation made last friday. it wasnt good. i thought i may have lost something and someone wonderful because of it. im still not sure where things stand. accusations were made with no grounds and i wasnt even given a chance to explain things to make things right. that made me mad...and very sad. i cried. alot.
people are very selfish. i have come to realize that. if it benefits them then they dont care who they take down to get to it. with no regard for others feelings and emotions, they come in and take over. and the people you should be able to rely on for anything anytime arent there to help you pick up the pieces and put yourself back together. dont tell me one thing and then do the opposite.
i have been very busy looking for a new job since im done at they youth center as of november 15th. the job search isnt going well at all. i ended up taking a job that im not sure i will even enjoy jsut because it was the only things out there. it sucks. the job market in central new york sucks and theres nothing any of us can dp about it. so we are stuck with mindless jobs that we really dont enjoy just to pay the bills. i guess we will see how it goes.
i was laying in bed last night thinking about alot of things. about my health, life, realtionships, jobs, the future. part of me wants to do what brian did in december and just get up and go. to where ever. start over in a place where i dont know anyone and will have to rebuild. he happened to pick sunny warm tampa florida. he made a smart move with that. im not even 100% sure thats what i want to do but i know for sure that i need to do something soon.very soon. i dont know how much longer i can live with instability and just be expected to go with it. everyone has a breaking point. i feel that mine may be coming soon. i dont know if moving and starting over is the right thing or not. i dont know if a trip somewhere just to clear my head is the right thing. i really dont know much lately.
one thing i do know is that one of my best friends in the entire world is home for a few days and that makes me happy. so before i starve to death, im going to meet brian for lunch. maybe he has some words of wisdom.i can hope cant i?
if anyone actually read this entire thing, thank you and im very impressed. if you didnt, well, thats ok cuz i didnt expect most of you to anyways.
time to eat.
becky, i want scalloped potatoes. :)
im not writing this as a pitty post but if anyone has any ideas to make things a little easier, please let me know.
where is this all coming from you ask? well it started with an accusation made last friday. it wasnt good. i thought i may have lost something and someone wonderful because of it. im still not sure where things stand. accusations were made with no grounds and i wasnt even given a chance to explain things to make things right. that made me mad...and very sad. i cried. alot.
people are very selfish. i have come to realize that. if it benefits them then they dont care who they take down to get to it. with no regard for others feelings and emotions, they come in and take over. and the people you should be able to rely on for anything anytime arent there to help you pick up the pieces and put yourself back together. dont tell me one thing and then do the opposite.
i have been very busy looking for a new job since im done at they youth center as of november 15th. the job search isnt going well at all. i ended up taking a job that im not sure i will even enjoy jsut because it was the only things out there. it sucks. the job market in central new york sucks and theres nothing any of us can dp about it. so we are stuck with mindless jobs that we really dont enjoy just to pay the bills. i guess we will see how it goes.
i was laying in bed last night thinking about alot of things. about my health, life, realtionships, jobs, the future. part of me wants to do what brian did in december and just get up and go. to where ever. start over in a place where i dont know anyone and will have to rebuild. he happened to pick sunny warm tampa florida. he made a smart move with that. im not even 100% sure thats what i want to do but i know for sure that i need to do something soon.very soon. i dont know how much longer i can live with instability and just be expected to go with it. everyone has a breaking point. i feel that mine may be coming soon. i dont know if moving and starting over is the right thing or not. i dont know if a trip somewhere just to clear my head is the right thing. i really dont know much lately.
one thing i do know is that one of my best friends in the entire world is home for a few days and that makes me happy. so before i starve to death, im going to meet brian for lunch. maybe he has some words of wisdom.i can hope cant i?
if anyone actually read this entire thing, thank you and im very impressed. if you didnt, well, thats ok cuz i didnt expect most of you to anyways.
time to eat.
becky, i want scalloped potatoes. :)
im not writing this as a pitty post but if anyone has any ideas to make things a little easier, please let me know.