I don't know what to say...
I thought my friends knew that if they needed me that I would always drop everything for them... That they could call me anytime of the day and I would be there to either listen to them or just be with them to keep thier mind of things.
I've been worried about one friend a lot lately, and I've spent a lot of time trying to be there for her, but while doing that I guess other friends thought I didn't have anytime for her. I want to be there for everyone but I don't know if I can. I am so stressed with a lot of things going on right now, but the fact that my friends don't feel that I'm there really upsets me. I used to be really good at calling and checking up on people but I haven't been lately, I've been so busy with school and soccer and family stuff that I haven't been able to really as much as I would like. and I guess I thought if they needed me they would call. I've been dealing with so much stuff lately that I haven't had time to deal with the thing I need to deal with. and I'm scared that it's all just going to build up and I'm just going to get too overwhelmed with it. Everyone is going through thier own problems right now. I don't feel like I can go to anyone with mine cause I don't want to burden them more than they already are. I don't know there's a lot of people who won't support a lot of things I'm thinking right now, but I've already made up my mind and I really feel that I'm doing what's right for myself.
My theroy with things right now is that when things get to serious they get depressing, you loose the lightheartedness you had in the beginning. and I have learned that if you just take a break from things for a while you tend to get that lightheartedness back. And the longer the break is better and longer the reunion. I really believe in this and that's why I'll wait again, cause someday we'll be able to to keep the lightheartedness forever and that's worth fighting for. I don't know if it will ever happen but I don't know if I'll ever quit trying.
I've been worried about one friend a lot lately, and I've spent a lot of time trying to be there for her, but while doing that I guess other friends thought I didn't have anytime for her. I want to be there for everyone but I don't know if I can. I am so stressed with a lot of things going on right now, but the fact that my friends don't feel that I'm there really upsets me. I used to be really good at calling and checking up on people but I haven't been lately, I've been so busy with school and soccer and family stuff that I haven't been able to really as much as I would like. and I guess I thought if they needed me they would call. I've been dealing with so much stuff lately that I haven't had time to deal with the thing I need to deal with. and I'm scared that it's all just going to build up and I'm just going to get too overwhelmed with it. Everyone is going through thier own problems right now. I don't feel like I can go to anyone with mine cause I don't want to burden them more than they already are. I don't know there's a lot of people who won't support a lot of things I'm thinking right now, but I've already made up my mind and I really feel that I'm doing what's right for myself.
My theroy with things right now is that when things get to serious they get depressing, you loose the lightheartedness you had in the beginning. and I have learned that if you just take a break from things for a while you tend to get that lightheartedness back. And the longer the break is better and longer the reunion. I really believe in this and that's why I'll wait again, cause someday we'll be able to to keep the lightheartedness forever and that's worth fighting for. I don't know if it will ever happen but I don't know if I'll ever quit trying.