You clinging to me all weekend, only made me realize that's not at all what I want. Jenn's advice was to just turn off my phone... Did it... I was able to relax and figure things out
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I'm sorry. And you know that I am. I reacted in such a way that you didn't understand, and I dont even know if you understand now. I don't expect Alex to be miserable while I'm happy. But you have to see that your my Shawny and that WOULD change weather or not I wanted it to because I'd be uncomfortable. I have made alot of enemys due to my jealousy and I REALLY REALLY don't want to be enemys again with you. (well if you count before as being enemys) I love you to death girl and your a exteremly positive person I want to keep in my life. I'm sorry and I hope you can take that for what it is ... an apology.
I hope you still love me even though I went emotional physco paranoid bitch on you.
I still love you! You know I do I always will. I hope you understand that I don't want time to myself because I want to cut everyone out of my life, it's just that, I'm finding it hard enough to deal with all the shit I still manage to get from nick, and I really can't handle all the other crap going on. I've realized that I like to go to people who know him and understand him almost as well as I do, but out of all those people who ever I go to someone else will have a fit about it. I'm not blaming you, I'm happy that you've helped me to realize it. Right now I just need to figure things out and take time to myself, I still love you. Up till I started dating nick I really didn't have drama in my life, And well Nick always was able to protect me from it and when he couldn't he was always right there for me to run to. I know I can't run to him anymore, and I just don't know how to deal with it. I want the life I had before him back, the life where I was never upset, completely independent and when I was happy on my own. I always knew
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I hope you still love me even though I went emotional physco paranoid bitch on you.
Heids
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