A Tad Happier
So I am happier than i was the last time i posted. Not everything has been worked out. really nothing has been. but my mood has improved. im still really stressed but a few things seem to be falling into place. we will have to hope they will. ive been a little happier with mike, but because he has gotten his ass in gear. its more like my attitude around him has changed. im kinda leaving him to his own but not. its really hard to explain. i do have to say though that he has started cuddling more and became a little more random again. so that has prolly helped out some. dad is in favor of me moving back in with mom and i know that he really wants to see me go forward so that helps. ive talked to a lot of people about everything going on and i think my frequent venting has helped keep me on an even level too. (Thanks so much guys) I still want to talk to grams about it and hopefully ill get to soon. the fall birthday maddness has started so thats one more thing keeping me busy also. Alyssa you little butthead, you have to kickstart it every year. lol. i think the other thing that might be cheering me up is the possibility of a house of my own. when i walked into this house( as fugly as the decor and everything was) it kinda felt like home. it needed very minimal work to make the house livable. most of it is all cosmetic. its cheap and its out enough to not be in town but close enough not to take a bunch of gas either. now we just have to see if i can get the loan for it. prolly not because it all feels too right. nothing ever works the right way. the house feels like home its in a nice spot(once you get past hillbilly haven) and i think i could be happy there. i know it would be a big risk if i did do it but i think it would turn out ok. as long as i could afford everything on my own i think i would still go for it. that way if something did happen with mike i would still have 4 walls a roof and a handy man on my side. hehe it pays to have a daddy who does construction!:) i dont know im really scared about the house thing but im hopefully. that just means that next week or the one following that ill prolly be writing in here about how upset i am because i didnt get the loan and i got my hopes up too high when i knew i shouldnt have. o well i guess that just means there will be more for everybody to read. but i suppose this book is long enough so everybody wish me luck with the bank next week!!