(no subject)
Eight years ago, November16th, was my Mother’s 60th birthday. She wanted a party, wanted to celebrate, and she put a huge amount of planning into it but three aspects became the most important.
Firstly, she wanted to go to Wales, back to the country (if not the exact area) where she was born, where her mother was born; and she wanted to be there with as many of her family and friends as possible. Secondly, and this will come as no surprise to anyone who knows even a single member of my family, the food had to be perfect and plentiful. It was what most would consider simple comfort food, but it was the type of food ingrained in all her memories of the special events and great occasions of her life. Thirdly, she didn’t want presents. She said she had everything she could want or need. If we wanted to do something then she asked that we give as much or as little as we could to charity (she chose Kids Company and you should definitely check them out if you haven’t heard of them).
Though she wouldn’t know for certain until that final diagnosis in January the following year, I’m sure Mother was well aware it might be her last birthday. So every year since, her 61st to her 67th, those of us left behind have celebrated her birthday for her. I want to share that this year.
So tomorrow, if you get the chance, take time to be with your family, friends, the people you love. Laugh and talk. Reminisce over all the great, stupid and wonderful things you have done. Make plans together for days long in your futures but don’t forget to make them for next week, or the next day. Every moment together is a precious, fleeting joy.
Share a grand meal, or even just a fancy cupcake, with someone. Treat yourself without worrying about extravagance or expense. Or simply sit around the kitchen table at home over meat and two veg with packet gravy. But make some new memories; don’t wait for that special occasion.
Be generous to someone, a stranger or a lifelong friend, even if it’s with just a word. What might seem small to you can be a great gift to someone who needs it.
I was always amazed how many people’s lives Mother made an impact on; the lifelong friendships, the children she worked with she watched grow up with as much interest and affection as her own family, the people she met only once or twice who knew right away how special she was. I like to think that even with her gone she can still touch upon briefly, or shape and inspire, the lives of others.