Aug 21, 2008 15:07
I can't decide if I'm ready to go back to school or not.
For about fifteen minutes, that's all I could type. And I'm still slightly at a loss for words.
All of my stuff is packed up in boxes once again. I just did this not too long ago. It's obnoxious. I feel like I've just been a nomad all summer. I got home in May, went away for a week and came home to a different house. There are things I didn't even bother to unpack.
I had a great summer. I didn't really get a whole lot accomplished which makes me feel useless. But it was extremely relaxing, which was much needed.
I know I'm going to be homesick the first week of school. It takes me a while to get back in the swing of things. Probably the thing that will make it the worst is leaving my new puppy. It sounds lame to say I had such a bond with a dog, but I do. My parents both work everyday in the summer so it was just me and her everyday til 3. I'm going to miss her so much.
I hate to say I'm going to miss home because of a boy. A boy who I'm not even dating. It's so stupid. I think I should at least give my self a little credit where credit is due by knowing that it's stupid that I'm going to miss him and that I can probably do better. But no one understands that maybe I don't want to do better. You can't always control who you like, you just have a connection and once that's discovered it's hard to tear yourself away. I think maybe some time apart is what I need.
I want to do really well this year grade-wise. Marc and I vowed that we were going to try really hard and help each other study. I want to get more involved with the newspaper and 20 Watts and singing. I'm afraid to tell my rugby coach and the team that I'm quitting.
Side note, the new Jack's Mannequin CD leaked and it's amazing.
I guess all I can do is hope. Hope I do well. Hope I fit in to the activities I choose. Hope some time will change things for the better.
Fucking nerves.