(no subject)
I said all i could say. I did all i could. I poured out my heart and left my self out there all because i love you and i wished you would have really seen that and realized that it all was too good. Maybe that was it. It was TOO good. For those two hours i really thought you'd change your mind but the look on your face when i told you to be honest and say what you mean it didnt matter if it hurt my feelings, i could see it, you didnt love me. Obviously, you didnt love me as much as you said, because for me real love you dont just wake out of one day. I dont regret anything because like i told you, i would spill it all out so i wouldnt sit around wishing i wouldve said or done something different. You made a choice, "i dont know what i want i dont know what to do"
well that in itself is a choice. Because i made it so easy for you, i fed you my heart on a silver platter and you realized it wasnt what you wanted. As much as i want to hate
4 hours later
i feel sick to my stomach. Somewhere inside me i still think im going to fall asleep somehow and magically tomorrow you'llbe with me again. You'll tell me you love me and ill believe you and i'll touch your arm as you drive or scratch your neck, i'll kiss you goodnight and you'll roll over and cuddle me to sleep.
FUCK
where did i go wrong?....nowhere, i didnt do anything wrong, unless letting my gaurd down counts.
I still want to see you, be around you hear your voice even though youve broken my heart id still probably believe you if you changed your mind. Im nervous for a new day to start because then itll be real. WE arent together anymore. It all fell apart. ANd i blame you, you jynxed us from the get go. It was all too much too fast. And even though its over, you answer my call and understand when i say youre the only person that can make me feel better, and no i dont want to be together if its not meant to be, but you are still the only person i find comfort in on this damn island. This stupid tiny speck of dirt im on, that no matter where i go i'll think of you, every stupid loud motor sounding car will make me think of you. I can't help to look around and see if youre anywhere near. I want you here, not as my boyfriend, but as the boy who wanted to take care of me, who said he loved me and held me every night who held my hand tightly wherever we went. I want to fall asleep to your smell, holy hell i dont know what i can do to make myself feel better. I dont want time, i dont want a new boy i dont want music sleep food movies if anything i just want you and me in the same room, and all youd have to do was hug me.
What now?
well that in itself is a choice. Because i made it so easy for you, i fed you my heart on a silver platter and you realized it wasnt what you wanted. As much as i want to hate
4 hours later
i feel sick to my stomach. Somewhere inside me i still think im going to fall asleep somehow and magically tomorrow you'llbe with me again. You'll tell me you love me and ill believe you and i'll touch your arm as you drive or scratch your neck, i'll kiss you goodnight and you'll roll over and cuddle me to sleep.
FUCK
where did i go wrong?....nowhere, i didnt do anything wrong, unless letting my gaurd down counts.
I still want to see you, be around you hear your voice even though youve broken my heart id still probably believe you if you changed your mind. Im nervous for a new day to start because then itll be real. WE arent together anymore. It all fell apart. ANd i blame you, you jynxed us from the get go. It was all too much too fast. And even though its over, you answer my call and understand when i say youre the only person that can make me feel better, and no i dont want to be together if its not meant to be, but you are still the only person i find comfort in on this damn island. This stupid tiny speck of dirt im on, that no matter where i go i'll think of you, every stupid loud motor sounding car will make me think of you. I can't help to look around and see if youre anywhere near. I want you here, not as my boyfriend, but as the boy who wanted to take care of me, who said he loved me and held me every night who held my hand tightly wherever we went. I want to fall asleep to your smell, holy hell i dont know what i can do to make myself feel better. I dont want time, i dont want a new boy i dont want music sleep food movies if anything i just want you and me in the same room, and all youd have to do was hug me.
What now?