(no subject)
I walked over to the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't.
I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exsist. Or just not be aware that you do exsist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why I'm trying now to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.
I look at people holding hands in the hallways, and I try to think about how it all works. At the school dances, I sit in the background, and I tap my toe, and I wonder how many couples will dance to "their song." In the hallways, I see the girls wearing the guy's jackets, and I think about the idea of property. And I wonder if anyone is really happy. I hope they are. I really hope they are.