(no subject)
Just when I think I understand life, it changes. When I start to understand people, trust people-they fail me. When I feel my faith strenghthen, it weakens.When my confidence builds, suddenly it crumbles. Sometimes I believe in fate, and sometimes not. Today I am a contradiction of every thing I want. Everything I want to be, to do, to see. Today I feel lost. Like everyone knows where they are going but me. I feel emptiness in my heart. I feel sadness envelop me. I cant really describe it. I cant really explain it. I think I can only blame it on hormones, or depression, or lack of sleep. I dont want to do anything, but I want to do everything. Im tired of being patient for things I want. Im tired of being passive about things I dont want. Im tired fo everyone telling me what to do. Im tired of pleasing everyone but me. Im tired of worrying about peoples feelings if I say what I want to say. Im tired of people hurting me, and especially my friends. Im tired of feeling unappreciated. Im tired of going unnoticed by people I want to see me.And Im especially tired of feeling that I keep giving myself and not getting anything in return. I tired.