My love....
I miss the times you'd softly kiss my forehead when you thought that I was sleeping. I miss the weight of your arm across my chest before bed. I miss waking up legs entwined. I miss the coffee you'd bring me in bed every morning, just the way I like it, even adding an ice cube or two. I miss the silver platters. I miss you resting your head on me while you played video games and I pretended to read, but just watched you. I really miss cuddling on the couch, you, me and the dogs, watching movies. I miss trying hard not to jump at scary movies. I miss you laughing when I did. I miss sneaking into the three dollar movies with you. I miss the way no one understood anything we said. I miss all the inside jokes. I miss sitting with you while you had your cigarette. I miss the way you told my ex's I wasn't there when they called. I miss getting mad at you for this. I miss the way you yelled at me when you thought I'd spent the night with someone else. I miss the way you'd wished it was me. I miss when you cried. I miss the sounds of you cracking you neck and back, sounds I hated so much. I miss the way you laughed at me. I miss asking you stupid questions like "why are there two red turn arrows?". I miss hearing your answers. I miss the way you said "yes dear" because you knew it aggravated me. I miss the way you looked at me from across a crowded room. Martha misses Jim. Mallory misses Mickey. I miss your energy in the morning when I couldn't get up. I miss days you'd crawl deeper into our bed, your face pressed to my collarbone, saying you didn't wanna get up. I miss our private drives and nights wed just lay in bed together for hours. I miss the way you howled. I miss the way you'd put on our song (one of them) when I was down and dance. I miss you in the passenger seat. I miss you ordering taco bell drive through through my sunroof. I miss how you broke one part of my car trying to fix another. I miss the nights you cooked us dinner. I miss you taking me out for dinner and getting us the good table. I miss the petty arguements. I miss your eyes. I miss you grabbing my hand. I miss your voice. I miss the way you said stubbornly, "I take care of you!". And you did. I miss Valentines night on the boat. I miss our little secret in the back of the jeep. I miss watching the sunset and sunrise with you. I miss hearing you tell me you need me, the way you said you loved me, telling me your son wouldn't have had a father without me. I miss the secrets you put into me. I miss you gloating about your muscles because you know I hated them. I miss wandering through blockbuster confused, because we'd rented almost everything. I miss driving all the way to Broooklyn with you to work and half those days not working. I miss soap and hose fights at work. I miss sipping on beers with the mechanic. I miss you pumping my gas. I miss the way you leaned I my window while you pumped my gas. I miss the way you brushed my hair out of my eyes while I was driving. I miss your side of the room always being cleaner than mine. I miss watching you and my little brother play video games. I miss throwing little girl undies at him on stage at the recher. I miss youre mixed drinks. I miss the way you slipped in the snow. I miss your eyes when I was sad. I miss even the nights you cried. I miss that smile, and that laugh. You know the ones. I miss you siding with my mother on arguements. Working on my car with my step father. I miss you trying to teach my mother and grandmother about Darkon. I miss the long rides to Reunion Farm and back. I miss your touch. I miss your body. I miss stolen moments and late nights in bed. I miss you creeping up behind me. I miss you turning the tv back on. I miss falling asleep to you watching television. I miss you holding me hard in the middle of the night because the nightmares were back. I miss the way your face looked even when I hurt you. I miss how mad and concerned you got when I went out to the bar without you. I miss the way you protected me. I miss the way you missed me when you were gone. I miss the litte presents you brought me. I miss the way you made me feel. I miss the life you gave back to me. I miss the reasons you gave me to live. I miss my love. I miss my heart. I miss you Puppy. May you finally find peace, for no one deserved it more and no one was more loved. My hero, my best friend, my lover, my entire reason for being. Ill try to do right by you, but you deserved more than this world had to offer and I will never look at another man the way I looked at you. I will never love the ways I have loved you. I will always be only yours, forever. Rest now, my Pup. 2.11.83 - 7.10.07