Menfolk
...I have all these thoughts in my head, let's see if I can be as articulate here as I am in there.
Men.
Oi. Ahem.
Intro: I'm really, really, truly starting to know now in the core of my being that K.J. and I weren't inherently supposed to end up together. First off, he waited all of one and a half months to start dating again (after he basically told me I was "the one", and that the move home would help save our happiness/relationship), and well, frankly, I've been on a couple of dates, but nothing serious yet. Given, he was the first man I fell in love with, and it was the first serious, long-term relationship I had ever been in. I tend to put everything I have and everything I am into special relationships, and do my best to make things fantastic in all different kinds of ways...that's who I am.
AND...
I gained a lot of weight when I was with him. Yeah, I was a bit depressed in Jersey City, away from family, friends, and greenness, but with K.J., my healthy eating habits went out the window. We both ate like crap, and I almost got up to 200 pounds again, which thinking back, is really scary. SCARY. I have high cholesterol....I was eating things with hydrogenated crap in them. Not not not not not not good at all.
And frankly, he really didn't say anything about it. I guarantee he noticed, it was very obvious. I'm all for being comfortable with who you are with someone you love, and I vowed I wouldn't gain the "relationship weight" when I first met him, but hey. I can be easily influenced by people around me. I don't ever want to get that kind of "comfortable" ever again.
The point I am trying to make is: I need a man in my life that is supportive, healthy, and active.
I now cannot eat gluten, eggs, or dairy. Yes, I miss cheese a lot, and protein sources are now harder to come by (no more yogurt, eggs, cottage cheese, cheese, whey protein shakes...etc.) This makes it a bit easier in certain ways for me to be healthier, but now I'm more inclined to pick up a carbohydrate snack than one with protein. I do the very best I can to avoid high fructose corn syrup, fake sugars, and anything hydrogenated, too.
I need a man that knows this, accepts this and me for this fact, and is supportive and helpful with this as well. I know that when I eat anything with this kind of stuff in them, I feel terrible. Not to be too graphic, but I get all bloated, gassy and generally just feel gross.
I am now much more active than I ever used to be. I now love my jog/walks down the road, and Jillian Michaels' "Ripped in 30" makes me sweat hardcore, even on level one. Yeah, it's hard, but ultimately I find it to be very enjoyable, and I feel much better overall. In the winter, I like going to the gym, pumping a little iron, a little treadmill, yadda yadda. I NEED a man that is active. NEED NEED NEED. I can't go back to where I was, or sedentary, my health and happiness relies on it. If a man takes good care of himself and his health, I can have that support that I need. And we can do lots of active fun things together. ;-)
No, I'm not really interested in the "I lift things up and put them down" gym-rat types, just someone who knows his health is a top priority. Someone who isn't afraid to have fun in moderation, who doesn't smoke, and eats well. If you're more inclined to sit on your ass, I'm more inclined to sit on mine, too...and vice versa with being active.
Because being healthy, running around, and putting good things into my body makes me much happier. Endorphins for one, and I'm happier with the way I feel and look.
And in the end, wanting kids (it would be a sin for me not to procreate), being goofy, hard-working, tattoos, sassiness, kindness, and being tall and a bit nerdy (or supportive of my nerdly habits) are also very much pluses, all of those are very hot in my book, and the vast majority are requirements as well.
So, ultimately...K.J. and I were and weren't a good mix. Yeah, there was a lot of love, but unfortunately, a lot of food and sitting, too.
I am really starting to love the way I look, and I'm not willing to go back to the way things were with some other man. It's just not going to happen. I know I really do have the willpower to have that not happen again, but I also need that proactive support. It's more enjoyable to have someone to go running with, or go hiking, rock climbing, or make healthy dinners with. I want to live til I'm an old fart so that I can see my grandkids get married, and dye my gray hair pink or purple or both for the wedding. Because, that's how old-Melissa will roll.
P.S. This is NOT in any way a bash-fest of the ex. Though I do get sad, nostalgic, or frustrated, I do wish him well and miss his company sometimes. I've just come to discover that we were just a little too different to really end up being together, romantically, long-term.
Men.
Oi. Ahem.
Intro: I'm really, really, truly starting to know now in the core of my being that K.J. and I weren't inherently supposed to end up together. First off, he waited all of one and a half months to start dating again (after he basically told me I was "the one", and that the move home would help save our happiness/relationship), and well, frankly, I've been on a couple of dates, but nothing serious yet. Given, he was the first man I fell in love with, and it was the first serious, long-term relationship I had ever been in. I tend to put everything I have and everything I am into special relationships, and do my best to make things fantastic in all different kinds of ways...that's who I am.
AND...
I gained a lot of weight when I was with him. Yeah, I was a bit depressed in Jersey City, away from family, friends, and greenness, but with K.J., my healthy eating habits went out the window. We both ate like crap, and I almost got up to 200 pounds again, which thinking back, is really scary. SCARY. I have high cholesterol....I was eating things with hydrogenated crap in them. Not not not not not not good at all.
And frankly, he really didn't say anything about it. I guarantee he noticed, it was very obvious. I'm all for being comfortable with who you are with someone you love, and I vowed I wouldn't gain the "relationship weight" when I first met him, but hey. I can be easily influenced by people around me. I don't ever want to get that kind of "comfortable" ever again.
The point I am trying to make is: I need a man in my life that is supportive, healthy, and active.
I now cannot eat gluten, eggs, or dairy. Yes, I miss cheese a lot, and protein sources are now harder to come by (no more yogurt, eggs, cottage cheese, cheese, whey protein shakes...etc.) This makes it a bit easier in certain ways for me to be healthier, but now I'm more inclined to pick up a carbohydrate snack than one with protein. I do the very best I can to avoid high fructose corn syrup, fake sugars, and anything hydrogenated, too.
I need a man that knows this, accepts this and me for this fact, and is supportive and helpful with this as well. I know that when I eat anything with this kind of stuff in them, I feel terrible. Not to be too graphic, but I get all bloated, gassy and generally just feel gross.
I am now much more active than I ever used to be. I now love my jog/walks down the road, and Jillian Michaels' "Ripped in 30" makes me sweat hardcore, even on level one. Yeah, it's hard, but ultimately I find it to be very enjoyable, and I feel much better overall. In the winter, I like going to the gym, pumping a little iron, a little treadmill, yadda yadda. I NEED a man that is active. NEED NEED NEED. I can't go back to where I was, or sedentary, my health and happiness relies on it. If a man takes good care of himself and his health, I can have that support that I need. And we can do lots of active fun things together. ;-)
No, I'm not really interested in the "I lift things up and put them down" gym-rat types, just someone who knows his health is a top priority. Someone who isn't afraid to have fun in moderation, who doesn't smoke, and eats well. If you're more inclined to sit on your ass, I'm more inclined to sit on mine, too...and vice versa with being active.
Because being healthy, running around, and putting good things into my body makes me much happier. Endorphins for one, and I'm happier with the way I feel and look.
And in the end, wanting kids (it would be a sin for me not to procreate), being goofy, hard-working, tattoos, sassiness, kindness, and being tall and a bit nerdy (or supportive of my nerdly habits) are also very much pluses, all of those are very hot in my book, and the vast majority are requirements as well.
So, ultimately...K.J. and I were and weren't a good mix. Yeah, there was a lot of love, but unfortunately, a lot of food and sitting, too.
I am really starting to love the way I look, and I'm not willing to go back to the way things were with some other man. It's just not going to happen. I know I really do have the willpower to have that not happen again, but I also need that proactive support. It's more enjoyable to have someone to go running with, or go hiking, rock climbing, or make healthy dinners with. I want to live til I'm an old fart so that I can see my grandkids get married, and dye my gray hair pink or purple or both for the wedding. Because, that's how old-Melissa will roll.
P.S. This is NOT in any way a bash-fest of the ex. Though I do get sad, nostalgic, or frustrated, I do wish him well and miss his company sometimes. I've just come to discover that we were just a little too different to really end up being together, romantically, long-term.