...?
i was talking to john last night...and his away was '......' and his profile was nothing but a huge white '?' in a dark blue background. anyway, he's a strange kid online. he always pops up with a 'hey', and then asks me how im doing, which i responded last night with, 'okay, im just not feeling very well', to which he gave his sympathies,"i'm sorry. i hope you feel better soon." so, i was in the process of thanking him when he suddenly puts up an away: '...' now, i know this happens a lot to people online, and even i am guilty of doing it too. where people pop up and say 'hi, how are you' and that is the extent of their conversation. i remember talking about this with paul once...how this whole situation bugs the crap out of him. but honestly, i dont really mind. i mean, the fact that people say 'hi, how are you' means enough to me. if i want to have a longer converstaion, and they wont respond to me, then ill call. you know? not the end of the world, and not that annoying. anyway, i miss john. he's a beastly drummer, and a king of a kid. i also miss scotty. and claire--who i talked to last night, for the first time in ages, and dummie me never even thought of the convenient closeness of my voice lessons to elon...i mean, they're in the same damn county. so, we're deff doing dinner or something...SOON. bc i miss her. and i also miss the eastman kiddos...i see angela once in a while, but i havent really hung out with her in so long. but danny...i havent even seen since this summer! :( i miss him a TON. and andrea...i hope she's loving her job in cincinnati. man. she's like, my idol. smart, pretty, sweet, fun...i love her. i miss bean as well...whose coloring book stories make me realize what simple pleasures in life i've just been ignoring. and danielle, who i havent really talked to in what seems like eternity. i love her to pieces and beyond...the hug yesterday morning seriously made my ENTIRE day...:) and sterling, and hayden, and lena, and actually just the entire fitzgeralds...i miss you people. and will...it's always fun talking to him, which seems to happen so disparingly. and andi!!! i never ever ever get to see her anymore. i need a good girls night out again. soon. but mostly...i have to admit...i miss my ian. that's the only reason i wish i was in school today. :( like, all i've been thinking about is you.
so, yeah. im sitting at home, and it is only 8:47 and im up. hmm...weird. probably because i slept so much yesterday...but, i still dont get it because im extremely tired. i think ill go back to sleep after i write this. yeah, sounds like a plan. i found these home made waffles in my freezer this morning and they were soooooo good! MMM! :)
so, the boone trip didnt go down, mostly because of me. sorrrryyyy guys:( it's kind of funny, bc my biggest concern was missing practice, and here im going to be missing it anyway. ha. how ironic. but, we'll go before sb. deff. okay, okay!
annnnddd, man audrey. this is exciting. this is ever so exciting! WHOOOHOOOOO! i wanna just PLAY sooo bad. we do need to practice more though. especially considering what we sounded like wednesday. heh heh. GRRRR it makes me so mad, bc i know we're better than that. bleck. anyway...
speaking of wednesday, we had a game against eastern guilford and we whooped booty: 5-0!!! WHOOOOHOOOOO! go us! :) but, man, it was so freakin cold. SOOO cold. i had on booty shorts, black pants, and my soccer shorts on with my shin guards and socks over my pants. haha. and i was still freezing. i was chilled to my bones...literally. im just now starting to feel the shivers go away...im not kidding...in the least. man. cold. but we won, so yay. hopefully coach will let me play monday...since i didnt go to practice yesterday and wont go today. man, i hope im not getting sick.
my mommys making me a scarf, and it's really pretty. im so excited.
and ryeon asked me to be her junior marshall!!! it was so exciting. maaan! I LOVE RYEON!!! :)
and, what is up with you people and arcade fire??? 3 out of the 5 people who signed my lj last night commented about how exciting it was that i listened to them. haha. i know they're pretty awesome, but, it almost looks like you people worship them. haha ;)
hmmm...about my lj yesterday. im not sure if it worried anyone else, but really, you dont have to worry about it. i promise. i was just thinking about how care-free and perfect my dreams are. and how, i wish sometimes life was that easy. don't you ever feel that way? ever?
but, ian. i love you. i love you i love you i love you. you mean more to me than anything else right now, and i dont know what i would do if i didnt have you. you're so incredible. so. so so so so. :) you make me smile...you make me so happy. i love you. and i realllly realllly realllly hope i get to see you today.
i have so much to do. im going to try to get a lot of it done today. because i really really need to. everythings slipping...the time, my grades, my spirits. music, soccer, a few of my friends, and ian are the only things keeping me up. and my family's been pretty awesome lately too.
but on that note. i have something i want every single one of you people to think about. there has been WAYYY too much cynicism going around lately. wayy too much. i know life is stressful and people are mean and piss you off, and yeah. i know. trust me. i know. im staying home today so i can sleep and be by myself and get some stuff done...to get away from stress and people. but, it's so constant. and, im getting sick of always hearing negative bullshit. and, im not pin-pointing anyone out here, because it's in every single one of you people. i know you're happier than this. or can be anyway. so why dont you try a little more? huh? BE HAPPY!!! it's fun. trust me. much more than moping around and being pissed at the world all the time. you have to try a little bit. maybe that's the problem? it's so easy to sit back and be sad that no one wants to give the effort to be happy. but trust me...it's so worth it. stop the drama and the depression and the 'feel sorry for me' bullshit. because everyone can play that game. and then where would that lead us??? with no one to care because everyone has their head too far up their 'feel bad for me' little butt to notice anyone else. so, here's what you do. make yourself happy. surround yourself with people who make you feel good, get involved with things that are fun to YOU, and try smiling. it will make you feel better and anyone who sees you. life is too short to waste it being sad. especially when there is so much beauty.
now, i know i dont live by those rules all the time. and i know im a hypocrite. but i really am trying hard.
and i truly love you all.
<3
melissa
so, yeah. im sitting at home, and it is only 8:47 and im up. hmm...weird. probably because i slept so much yesterday...but, i still dont get it because im extremely tired. i think ill go back to sleep after i write this. yeah, sounds like a plan. i found these home made waffles in my freezer this morning and they were soooooo good! MMM! :)
so, the boone trip didnt go down, mostly because of me. sorrrryyyy guys:( it's kind of funny, bc my biggest concern was missing practice, and here im going to be missing it anyway. ha. how ironic. but, we'll go before sb. deff. okay, okay!
annnnddd, man audrey. this is exciting. this is ever so exciting! WHOOOHOOOOO! i wanna just PLAY sooo bad. we do need to practice more though. especially considering what we sounded like wednesday. heh heh. GRRRR it makes me so mad, bc i know we're better than that. bleck. anyway...
speaking of wednesday, we had a game against eastern guilford and we whooped booty: 5-0!!! WHOOOOHOOOOO! go us! :) but, man, it was so freakin cold. SOOO cold. i had on booty shorts, black pants, and my soccer shorts on with my shin guards and socks over my pants. haha. and i was still freezing. i was chilled to my bones...literally. im just now starting to feel the shivers go away...im not kidding...in the least. man. cold. but we won, so yay. hopefully coach will let me play monday...since i didnt go to practice yesterday and wont go today. man, i hope im not getting sick.
my mommys making me a scarf, and it's really pretty. im so excited.
and ryeon asked me to be her junior marshall!!! it was so exciting. maaan! I LOVE RYEON!!! :)
and, what is up with you people and arcade fire??? 3 out of the 5 people who signed my lj last night commented about how exciting it was that i listened to them. haha. i know they're pretty awesome, but, it almost looks like you people worship them. haha ;)
hmmm...about my lj yesterday. im not sure if it worried anyone else, but really, you dont have to worry about it. i promise. i was just thinking about how care-free and perfect my dreams are. and how, i wish sometimes life was that easy. don't you ever feel that way? ever?
but, ian. i love you. i love you i love you i love you. you mean more to me than anything else right now, and i dont know what i would do if i didnt have you. you're so incredible. so. so so so so. :) you make me smile...you make me so happy. i love you. and i realllly realllly realllly hope i get to see you today.
i have so much to do. im going to try to get a lot of it done today. because i really really need to. everythings slipping...the time, my grades, my spirits. music, soccer, a few of my friends, and ian are the only things keeping me up. and my family's been pretty awesome lately too.
but on that note. i have something i want every single one of you people to think about. there has been WAYYY too much cynicism going around lately. wayy too much. i know life is stressful and people are mean and piss you off, and yeah. i know. trust me. i know. im staying home today so i can sleep and be by myself and get some stuff done...to get away from stress and people. but, it's so constant. and, im getting sick of always hearing negative bullshit. and, im not pin-pointing anyone out here, because it's in every single one of you people. i know you're happier than this. or can be anyway. so why dont you try a little more? huh? BE HAPPY!!! it's fun. trust me. much more than moping around and being pissed at the world all the time. you have to try a little bit. maybe that's the problem? it's so easy to sit back and be sad that no one wants to give the effort to be happy. but trust me...it's so worth it. stop the drama and the depression and the 'feel sorry for me' bullshit. because everyone can play that game. and then where would that lead us??? with no one to care because everyone has their head too far up their 'feel bad for me' little butt to notice anyone else. so, here's what you do. make yourself happy. surround yourself with people who make you feel good, get involved with things that are fun to YOU, and try smiling. it will make you feel better and anyone who sees you. life is too short to waste it being sad. especially when there is so much beauty.
now, i know i dont live by those rules all the time. and i know im a hypocrite. but i really am trying hard.
and i truly love you all.
<3
melissa