You'll Never Find Someone Like Me. OH Wait...
Media: Fic
Title: You'll Never Find Someone Like Me. Oh Wait…
Rating: PG
Pairing: Klaine
Spoilers: Yes, for both the end of the fourth season of Doctor Who and for the fifth one
Word Count: 1994 words (yay! my longest fic in English!)
Warnings: Boy-kissing, the Master, and please beware of the crack
A/N: Written for community.livejournal.com/kurt_blaine/6639.html . As always English is not my first language so please excuse me if there are mistakes.
Disclaimer: As much as I'd like to, I don't own either Doctor Who nor Glee
You’ll Never Find Someone Like Me. Oh Wait…
“Master.” said for the fourth time the Doctor, his voice strangely void of emotions.
“Yes Doctor?” asked the Time Lord with annoyance. This wasn’t meant to happen. It definitely wasn’t.
“Master, please tell me you know how to reverse this.” replied the Doctor pointing at a couple of young men in uniform who were adoringly gazing into each other’s eyes.
“Yes Doctor, of course I know how to reverse this, that’s why I’m standing here looking at, at least six couples of young boys either snogging or singing.” answered the other alien, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Is that ‘Baby, it’s cold outside’?”
In the meantime two shell-shocked teenage boys were sitting close on something the weird man with blonde hair had called cryptically ‘The Gate’. Saying that both Kurt and Blaine were stunned was probably the understatement of the century.
All around them everyone besides the man in a hoodie and the guy in the suit had been magically transformed in their exact same copy.
To make things even stranger, Kurt realized, every Kurt was now paired with a Blaine. And that was probably the weirdest thought he ever had.
“Blaine,” the boy started eerily calm “did I go crazy?”
“It’s not just you Kurt, I see them too.” replied the other Warbler eyes now transfixed on the two weird men bickering just a couple of feet away. “Do you think the man who brought us here gave us something? Maybe drugs.”
“Although I can see how a man who wears bowties, suspenders and a fez at the same time can only be classified as a drug addict I don’t remember drinking or eating anything, do you?” said Kurt, now openly staring at the two men, their voices were gradually raising. The boy didn’t like the look on either their faces, one had a manic glint in his eyes and the other was definitely too calm.
“You know what the strange thing is? Okay the strangest.” Blaine rectified after the other boy threw him a dirty look. “It all seem so real.”
“Because it is real you moron!” snapped the Master having overheard the conversation. He wasn’t in a good mood to deal with stupid teenage boys. He wasn’t in a good mood period. Having your evil plans ruined by two schoolboys tends to do that to a person.
“Hey you! Blondie!” shouted Kurt suddenly standing and walking towards the man “Don’t you dare snap at my boyfr- my friend like that! Did I make myself clear? He’s not our fault a trip with the Warblers became an episode of X-files. So why instead of shouting purposelessly at people you don’t put on something different from that hoodie. The Eminem look doesn’t look good on you.” said the boy, the threat just slightly ruined by the blush that was now covering his cheeks.
The Master laughed, effectively silencing all the people in the room that until then were either chatting or singing. “Well, aren’t you cute?” asked the Time Lord, an evil grin contorting his features.
“Master leave the kid alone, this is all your doing.” replied the Doctor with a look that would have made even the bravest of warriors go hide in fear.
The other Time Lord was going to reply, but his answer was cut by a face appearing in the suddenly switched on monitor.
“Sir, we are waiting for your orders.” said Blaine. Well, one of the Blaines.
“Do we really have to do this?” asked off screen someone who sounded amazingly like Kurt “You know, we could be engaging more entertaining activities.”
The Blaine on screen blushed furiously and whispered a barely audible “Not now Kurt. Later if you’re good.”
The person on the other side of the camera, Kurt apparently, seemed to have understood the message because the framing of the camera got a little bit higher as if the person who as holding it decided to stand straighter.
“Hello! Are we bothering you? We are only in the middle of a word crisis/domination plan after all. Nothing that can’t be pushed aside for a couple of hours.” said the Master with his usual grin. Screen Blaine seemed to ignore him and looked directly at the real Blaine.
“Sir, we are waiting for orders.”
“A-are you t-talking to me?” asked the real Blaine stuttering a bit. It wasn’t any day that an exact replica of himself called him sir and awaited for orders.
“Yes sir, the legions are ready.”
“L-l-l-legions?” Blaine seemed on the verge of passing out, so Kurt did the only sensible thing, he switched off the monitor and channeled his inner bitch. Someone was going to explain what was going on and it was possibly going to be Suit Man. Kurt took a habit of never trusting someone who couldn’t even properly dress himself.
“Look, I understand this is some kind of world domination attempt of something, I respect that, really, I do, but if someone doesn’t explain exactly what the Hell is going on here you won’t be able to dominate anything ‘cause I. WILL. END. YOU.” said Kurt waving a menacing finger at the two Time Lords.
“Okay since apparently you can’t figure it out yourself.” the Master started saying after an annoyed huff. That was the last thing he needed a damn child with evident issues. And he couldn’t even kill him! If he killed the annoying child he would also kill half of the damn human population and he needed them for his, admittedly not so flawless, plan.
But before the evil Time Lord had the chance to continue the young countertenor raised a finger to silence him.
“Not you Blondie, I don’t trust you. Suit Man answer.” prompted Kurt assuming his classic diva pose.
A grin spread across the Doctor’s face he absolutely had to ask this kid to be his companion once all this was over.
In the meantime Blaine was having troubles remembering how to breathe. He was in a private house guarded by soldiers who all resembled himself and Kurt and, on top of that, his friend was currently engaged in a lovely conversation with a couple of psychopaths. The worst, or under a certain aspect the best, part of it all was that he couldn’t help but find Kurt incredibly hot.
“So, if I understood correctly, you’re the Doctor, he’s the Master, you two are Time Lords, aliens that can travel in time and space. We weren’t supposed to be here, but since time is a bit, and I quote, ‘wibbly wobbly’ Grilled Cheesus knows how we are and we kind of interrupted your Time Lord-y smack down, am I right?” summarized Kurt raising a skeptical eyebrow without failing to notice the fact that the Doctor had mouthed his speech word for word.
“Yes, sounds about right.” replied the Time Lord grin still firmly on his lips.
“And that thing usually heals planets but because of its settings and a freak accident it turned everyone on this planet into me and Blaine, right?” asked again Kurt, who would have found the nonchalance with which he was taking all this worrying hadn’t he be occupied trying to get the mechanics of it all. The Warbler took the Master’s annoyed huff and foot tapping as a yes.
“So, may I ask why on Earth are they all being lovely dovely with each other? It’s kind of unsettling.” not to mention painful when you know that the object of your love that you’re currently watching kiss a copy of yourself feels nothing but feelings of friendship towards you.
“Oh but here lies the geniality of the Master’s plan.” stated the Doctor starting to bounce around. Kurt huffed, that guy a genius? Yeah sure. “The Gate was set to transfer also the Master’s goals and personality to everyone in this world so-”
But the Doctor’s amazing explanation was cut short by the heart wrenching sob that escaped Blaine’s lips. Everything happened in the last couple of hours only now started to sink and it was all too much for the Warbler.
In the batter of an eyelid Kurt was at Blaine’s side hugging his friend. He could perfectly understand Blaine’s reaction, he himself wasn’t sure exactly how long his façade would last. This all situation was probably the most terrifying experience of both their young lives. And they were two gay teenage boys living in Ohio who both suffered from bullying. That was saying something.
“Blaine, look at me please.” said Kurt, his voice soft and calming, Blaine immediately complied loosing himself in Kurt’s blue eyes. “I know it’s hard, but we can’t lose it right now, stay with me and I promise you that when all this is over we’ll have the best Harry Potter marathon ever had in the Dalton grounds.” continued Kurt a single tear rolling down his cheek. Blaine could only nod, his feelings for the other boy too overwhelming to even form a coherent sentence. So, for the first time in a long time he did what he wanted to do and kissed Kurt.
They both instantly felt the fireworks. This kiss was so awaited that neither of them saw or heard the Master approach and throw a fine yellow powder at them.
The effect was immediate, both the Warblers fell unconscious.
Kurt woke up thanks to a huge headache. He cautiously opened one eye and realized he wasn’t at home. Warbler trip in London if he remembered correctly. Yes, London. His musings were interrupted by someone shifting besides him. He saw Blaine and everything from their adventure with the Doctor and the Master rushed back. Was it a dream? It didn’t feel like a dream, everything was too defined, too vivid to be a dream. So he decided, pretty arbitrarily if he had to admit it, that it wasn’t just a dream.
Kurt immediately sat up and looked out of the window. Outside their hotel room everything was quiet, it was really early in the morning, only five or six people were outside. Kurt almost couldn’t restrain himself from a celebratory dance when he realized everyone had a different face. A groan brought him back to reality, Blaine was waking up.
Kurt rushed to Blaine’s side asking himself if the other boy would remember what happened. Kurt was hoping with all his heart the answer to that question was yes.
“Kurt” the boy said caressing the other boy’s cheek tenderly. They smiled at each other. Blaine remembered.
Suddenly Kurt realized that on the bed, next to Blaine was a crumpled piece of paper. Inside of it, written in a loopy and messy scrawl, was a message for the both of them.
Dear Kurt and Blaine,
I’m sorry you two got caught in the Master’s plan, it wasn’t supposed to happen, but you know, wibbly wobbly and stuff like that.
Anyways, don’t worry, the powder the Master threw at you was Gintarian sleeping powder, I honestly don’t know where he got that, but at least it’s innocuous…mostly, just stay away from lakes. Take care of each other.
See you at the wedding.
The Doctor
P.S. On the back of this paper there’s my number, call me if you ever want another adventure!
P.P.S. Look outside your window.
The two boys rushed to the window just in time to see the weird man with the fez wave from outside an odd blue box. The two kept waving even while the man entered the box and a weird whizzing sound filled the air, two large grins on their faces.
Kurt’s smile grew even wider when Blaine took his hand.
Title: You'll Never Find Someone Like Me. Oh Wait…
Rating: PG
Pairing: Klaine
Spoilers: Yes, for both the end of the fourth season of Doctor Who and for the fifth one
Word Count: 1994 words (yay! my longest fic in English!)
Warnings: Boy-kissing, the Master, and please beware of the crack
A/N: Written for community.livejournal.com/kurt_blaine/6639.html . As always English is not my first language so please excuse me if there are mistakes.
Disclaimer: As much as I'd like to, I don't own either Doctor Who nor Glee
You’ll Never Find Someone Like Me. Oh Wait…
“Master.” said for the fourth time the Doctor, his voice strangely void of emotions.
“Yes Doctor?” asked the Time Lord with annoyance. This wasn’t meant to happen. It definitely wasn’t.
“Master, please tell me you know how to reverse this.” replied the Doctor pointing at a couple of young men in uniform who were adoringly gazing into each other’s eyes.
“Yes Doctor, of course I know how to reverse this, that’s why I’m standing here looking at, at least six couples of young boys either snogging or singing.” answered the other alien, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Is that ‘Baby, it’s cold outside’?”
In the meantime two shell-shocked teenage boys were sitting close on something the weird man with blonde hair had called cryptically ‘The Gate’. Saying that both Kurt and Blaine were stunned was probably the understatement of the century.
All around them everyone besides the man in a hoodie and the guy in the suit had been magically transformed in their exact same copy.
To make things even stranger, Kurt realized, every Kurt was now paired with a Blaine. And that was probably the weirdest thought he ever had.
“Blaine,” the boy started eerily calm “did I go crazy?”
“It’s not just you Kurt, I see them too.” replied the other Warbler eyes now transfixed on the two weird men bickering just a couple of feet away. “Do you think the man who brought us here gave us something? Maybe drugs.”
“Although I can see how a man who wears bowties, suspenders and a fez at the same time can only be classified as a drug addict I don’t remember drinking or eating anything, do you?” said Kurt, now openly staring at the two men, their voices were gradually raising. The boy didn’t like the look on either their faces, one had a manic glint in his eyes and the other was definitely too calm.
“You know what the strange thing is? Okay the strangest.” Blaine rectified after the other boy threw him a dirty look. “It all seem so real.”
“Because it is real you moron!” snapped the Master having overheard the conversation. He wasn’t in a good mood to deal with stupid teenage boys. He wasn’t in a good mood period. Having your evil plans ruined by two schoolboys tends to do that to a person.
“Hey you! Blondie!” shouted Kurt suddenly standing and walking towards the man “Don’t you dare snap at my boyfr- my friend like that! Did I make myself clear? He’s not our fault a trip with the Warblers became an episode of X-files. So why instead of shouting purposelessly at people you don’t put on something different from that hoodie. The Eminem look doesn’t look good on you.” said the boy, the threat just slightly ruined by the blush that was now covering his cheeks.
The Master laughed, effectively silencing all the people in the room that until then were either chatting or singing. “Well, aren’t you cute?” asked the Time Lord, an evil grin contorting his features.
“Master leave the kid alone, this is all your doing.” replied the Doctor with a look that would have made even the bravest of warriors go hide in fear.
The other Time Lord was going to reply, but his answer was cut by a face appearing in the suddenly switched on monitor.
“Sir, we are waiting for your orders.” said Blaine. Well, one of the Blaines.
“Do we really have to do this?” asked off screen someone who sounded amazingly like Kurt “You know, we could be engaging more entertaining activities.”
The Blaine on screen blushed furiously and whispered a barely audible “Not now Kurt. Later if you’re good.”
The person on the other side of the camera, Kurt apparently, seemed to have understood the message because the framing of the camera got a little bit higher as if the person who as holding it decided to stand straighter.
“Hello! Are we bothering you? We are only in the middle of a word crisis/domination plan after all. Nothing that can’t be pushed aside for a couple of hours.” said the Master with his usual grin. Screen Blaine seemed to ignore him and looked directly at the real Blaine.
“Sir, we are waiting for orders.”
“A-are you t-talking to me?” asked the real Blaine stuttering a bit. It wasn’t any day that an exact replica of himself called him sir and awaited for orders.
“Yes sir, the legions are ready.”
“L-l-l-legions?” Blaine seemed on the verge of passing out, so Kurt did the only sensible thing, he switched off the monitor and channeled his inner bitch. Someone was going to explain what was going on and it was possibly going to be Suit Man. Kurt took a habit of never trusting someone who couldn’t even properly dress himself.
“Look, I understand this is some kind of world domination attempt of something, I respect that, really, I do, but if someone doesn’t explain exactly what the Hell is going on here you won’t be able to dominate anything ‘cause I. WILL. END. YOU.” said Kurt waving a menacing finger at the two Time Lords.
“Okay since apparently you can’t figure it out yourself.” the Master started saying after an annoyed huff. That was the last thing he needed a damn child with evident issues. And he couldn’t even kill him! If he killed the annoying child he would also kill half of the damn human population and he needed them for his, admittedly not so flawless, plan.
But before the evil Time Lord had the chance to continue the young countertenor raised a finger to silence him.
“Not you Blondie, I don’t trust you. Suit Man answer.” prompted Kurt assuming his classic diva pose.
A grin spread across the Doctor’s face he absolutely had to ask this kid to be his companion once all this was over.
In the meantime Blaine was having troubles remembering how to breathe. He was in a private house guarded by soldiers who all resembled himself and Kurt and, on top of that, his friend was currently engaged in a lovely conversation with a couple of psychopaths. The worst, or under a certain aspect the best, part of it all was that he couldn’t help but find Kurt incredibly hot.
“So, if I understood correctly, you’re the Doctor, he’s the Master, you two are Time Lords, aliens that can travel in time and space. We weren’t supposed to be here, but since time is a bit, and I quote, ‘wibbly wobbly’ Grilled Cheesus knows how we are and we kind of interrupted your Time Lord-y smack down, am I right?” summarized Kurt raising a skeptical eyebrow without failing to notice the fact that the Doctor had mouthed his speech word for word.
“Yes, sounds about right.” replied the Time Lord grin still firmly on his lips.
“And that thing usually heals planets but because of its settings and a freak accident it turned everyone on this planet into me and Blaine, right?” asked again Kurt, who would have found the nonchalance with which he was taking all this worrying hadn’t he be occupied trying to get the mechanics of it all. The Warbler took the Master’s annoyed huff and foot tapping as a yes.
“So, may I ask why on Earth are they all being lovely dovely with each other? It’s kind of unsettling.” not to mention painful when you know that the object of your love that you’re currently watching kiss a copy of yourself feels nothing but feelings of friendship towards you.
“Oh but here lies the geniality of the Master’s plan.” stated the Doctor starting to bounce around. Kurt huffed, that guy a genius? Yeah sure. “The Gate was set to transfer also the Master’s goals and personality to everyone in this world so-”
But the Doctor’s amazing explanation was cut short by the heart wrenching sob that escaped Blaine’s lips. Everything happened in the last couple of hours only now started to sink and it was all too much for the Warbler.
In the batter of an eyelid Kurt was at Blaine’s side hugging his friend. He could perfectly understand Blaine’s reaction, he himself wasn’t sure exactly how long his façade would last. This all situation was probably the most terrifying experience of both their young lives. And they were two gay teenage boys living in Ohio who both suffered from bullying. That was saying something.
“Blaine, look at me please.” said Kurt, his voice soft and calming, Blaine immediately complied loosing himself in Kurt’s blue eyes. “I know it’s hard, but we can’t lose it right now, stay with me and I promise you that when all this is over we’ll have the best Harry Potter marathon ever had in the Dalton grounds.” continued Kurt a single tear rolling down his cheek. Blaine could only nod, his feelings for the other boy too overwhelming to even form a coherent sentence. So, for the first time in a long time he did what he wanted to do and kissed Kurt.
They both instantly felt the fireworks. This kiss was so awaited that neither of them saw or heard the Master approach and throw a fine yellow powder at them.
The effect was immediate, both the Warblers fell unconscious.
Kurt woke up thanks to a huge headache. He cautiously opened one eye and realized he wasn’t at home. Warbler trip in London if he remembered correctly. Yes, London. His musings were interrupted by someone shifting besides him. He saw Blaine and everything from their adventure with the Doctor and the Master rushed back. Was it a dream? It didn’t feel like a dream, everything was too defined, too vivid to be a dream. So he decided, pretty arbitrarily if he had to admit it, that it wasn’t just a dream.
Kurt immediately sat up and looked out of the window. Outside their hotel room everything was quiet, it was really early in the morning, only five or six people were outside. Kurt almost couldn’t restrain himself from a celebratory dance when he realized everyone had a different face. A groan brought him back to reality, Blaine was waking up.
Kurt rushed to Blaine’s side asking himself if the other boy would remember what happened. Kurt was hoping with all his heart the answer to that question was yes.
“Kurt” the boy said caressing the other boy’s cheek tenderly. They smiled at each other. Blaine remembered.
Suddenly Kurt realized that on the bed, next to Blaine was a crumpled piece of paper. Inside of it, written in a loopy and messy scrawl, was a message for the both of them.
Dear Kurt and Blaine,
I’m sorry you two got caught in the Master’s plan, it wasn’t supposed to happen, but you know, wibbly wobbly and stuff like that.
Anyways, don’t worry, the powder the Master threw at you was Gintarian sleeping powder, I honestly don’t know where he got that, but at least it’s innocuous…mostly, just stay away from lakes. Take care of each other.
See you at the wedding.
The Doctor
P.S. On the back of this paper there’s my number, call me if you ever want another adventure!
P.P.S. Look outside your window.
The two boys rushed to the window just in time to see the weird man with the fez wave from outside an odd blue box. The two kept waving even while the man entered the box and a weird whizzing sound filled the air, two large grins on their faces.
Kurt’s smile grew even wider when Blaine took his hand.