(no subject)
so my brother joined the army a while ago and he's been at basic. he hates it, and last week he was sick in the infirmary(?) for 3 days with 103 fever. i feel so bad cuz i haven't been writing him like i should be. i told him i would all the time and i've written him like....twice. i suck. i miss him so much. and while he's living through hell, i can't even find the time to write him? again, i suck. i feel so bad, his letters are so depressing and i don't see how all the "oh i hope things get better, i love and miss yous" in my letters would be doing any good. i feel so helpless when all i want to do is run and give him a hug and a kiss and i can't. i can't do anything for him and that makes me feel like crap. i don't know what to do right now. when people are hurting, i want to help i want to make them feel better, and i can't do anything!!!!! i hate it! i hate it, i hate it, i hate it!!!!!!!!!