tony....again
ok my guy friend tony fetterhoff and i are in this huge ass fight like the biggest one of our lives and it sucks and i feel like the weight of what happens to our friend ship is all on me so i wrote him this letter.....
Tony,
Look I just have to get this off my chest before I leave. You don’t have to read this, in fact you can burn it for all I care but I do have to say it or I will go insane trying to get you to be my friend again.
First off, I want you to know something that I have been advised against telling you, but at the risk of screwing the friendship up even more I am going to tell you anyway. I like you a lot. In fact I have liked you since 6th grade but I never really had the nerve to tell you. Why would I want to tell you after being there through everything that ever happened between you and some girl? Anyways that’s is the most important thing for me to tell you right now because it might help you to know where I am coming from.
Secondly, when I tried to say I was sorry to you and the only thing you can do is tell me to fuck off really hurt me. I really do care about you but right now it’s obvious that you don’t care about me. That was why when you said that to me I put up that away message so that I could just walk away from the computer and not have to think about. I did think about it though and I started to cry it hurt me so much.
Yes, I know you are hurting right now too, and I am sorry for that but my intention wasn’t to hurt you. In fact it was far from it. At this point in time I don’t even know if you are mad at me because of what Amanda did or if it is an entirely different reason. I think knowing the real reason might help me put things into perspective a little better, but I’m not asking for that.
In fact I think the only thing I am really asking for right now is for you to just read this letter. I’m not really waiting for that to happen as I know it probably won’t, but I will go from there. If you do read this I just want you to know that I am sorry for whatever it is I did, which I think is letting Amanda throw your feelings back in your face but I’m not sure, and I am hurting right now because in some fucked up way or another I hurt you again. I have kicked you in the balls so many times Tony, and I don’t think it’s ever hurt you as much as I believe you are hurting now.
Once again, I just want you to know I am sorry. If you don’t want to read this or you don’t want to ever talk to me again that’s fine with me, but I really hope that that is not the case because I really do care about you and I know that you don’t feel the same way about me and probably never will but that is how I feel about you and I can’t change that at all, at least not right now.
I’ve gotten out what I need to say and now it is up to you. You can choose to forgive me or not but whatever it is you do know that the ball is in your court. I have said I’m sorry and that is what I needed to say. What happens to our friendship now is up to you. If you decide to for give, that’s great, we can go from there and trying to be friends. If you don’t that’s fine too…we won’t talk anymore….we won’t be friends anymore…. and over time I think we will probably even forget about each other….but I can’t say for sure.
This letter is yours to do with it what you will. Just please remember that I am your friend and I do care about you and about what happens to you. I’m sorry.
and now everything is on him to do what he wants to either be my friend or not....i mailed him the letter and i dont even know if he is goin to read it but oh well cuz now none of it is on me to fix it...ive said my part and now it is up to him....g2fg
Jillian
Tony,
Look I just have to get this off my chest before I leave. You don’t have to read this, in fact you can burn it for all I care but I do have to say it or I will go insane trying to get you to be my friend again.
First off, I want you to know something that I have been advised against telling you, but at the risk of screwing the friendship up even more I am going to tell you anyway. I like you a lot. In fact I have liked you since 6th grade but I never really had the nerve to tell you. Why would I want to tell you after being there through everything that ever happened between you and some girl? Anyways that’s is the most important thing for me to tell you right now because it might help you to know where I am coming from.
Secondly, when I tried to say I was sorry to you and the only thing you can do is tell me to fuck off really hurt me. I really do care about you but right now it’s obvious that you don’t care about me. That was why when you said that to me I put up that away message so that I could just walk away from the computer and not have to think about. I did think about it though and I started to cry it hurt me so much.
Yes, I know you are hurting right now too, and I am sorry for that but my intention wasn’t to hurt you. In fact it was far from it. At this point in time I don’t even know if you are mad at me because of what Amanda did or if it is an entirely different reason. I think knowing the real reason might help me put things into perspective a little better, but I’m not asking for that.
In fact I think the only thing I am really asking for right now is for you to just read this letter. I’m not really waiting for that to happen as I know it probably won’t, but I will go from there. If you do read this I just want you to know that I am sorry for whatever it is I did, which I think is letting Amanda throw your feelings back in your face but I’m not sure, and I am hurting right now because in some fucked up way or another I hurt you again. I have kicked you in the balls so many times Tony, and I don’t think it’s ever hurt you as much as I believe you are hurting now.
Once again, I just want you to know I am sorry. If you don’t want to read this or you don’t want to ever talk to me again that’s fine with me, but I really hope that that is not the case because I really do care about you and I know that you don’t feel the same way about me and probably never will but that is how I feel about you and I can’t change that at all, at least not right now.
I’ve gotten out what I need to say and now it is up to you. You can choose to forgive me or not but whatever it is you do know that the ball is in your court. I have said I’m sorry and that is what I needed to say. What happens to our friendship now is up to you. If you decide to for give, that’s great, we can go from there and trying to be friends. If you don’t that’s fine too…we won’t talk anymore….we won’t be friends anymore…. and over time I think we will probably even forget about each other….but I can’t say for sure.
This letter is yours to do with it what you will. Just please remember that I am your friend and I do care about you and about what happens to you. I’m sorry.
and now everything is on him to do what he wants to either be my friend or not....i mailed him the letter and i dont even know if he is goin to read it but oh well cuz now none of it is on me to fix it...ive said my part and now it is up to him....g2fg
Jillian