Cold Stone Creaminess
OK, so in case you weren't aware, I am working at the Cold Stone Creamery in Motown this summer to get by since our TA stipends only run from September to May and rent, my amigos, is due (haha, only you cool theatre people will understand why I'm amused by that last statement).
Anyway, I've only been working there for about three and a half weeks, but I've already met my fair share of weird, weird people. The weirdest people are the ones who come in during the day. I don't know why. Maybe it's b/c they are lonely and need someone to talk to. Maybe it's b/c they shouldn't be eating so much sugar before noon. Whatever it is, the bottom line is that these people are...nuts...to say the least. Perfect example is the following conversation which I had with a male customer this past week, about 10 minutes after the store had opened at 11am:
Dawn: (alone in the front of the store) Hi, welcome to Cold Stone Creamery. Have you ever been to a Cold Stone before? (we have to say this)
Customer: (about 5'1", 400lbs., wearing an Indiana Jones hat, a blue and gold WVU jacket, and turquoise pants...carrying a walking stick...and speaking with a very thick Mediterranean accent...with a lisp) I have eaten icecream.
D: Cool...well have you ever had OUR icecream?
C: Can you bake me some cookies?
D: No, I'm sorry, we don't bake cookies here. You can get cookie dough mixed in w/ your icecream though.
C: I like milk with my cookies. Can I buy a gallon of milk?
D: I'm sorry but we don't sell milk here. There's a little luncheonette right there on the corner (pointing) that might be able to sell you some milk.
C: You don't understand, I didn't eat breakfast.
D: I'm sorry...all we sell is icecream. But there's lots of restaurants around here where you can get--
C: (cutting me off) What about those brownies?
D: We can mix those brownies into your icecream, sir.
C: I want to buy that tray of brownies.
D: Well, if you buy icecream I can just put the brownies on the side. The first one will be free (our policy is first "mix-in" free), and then they'll be 59 cents a piece after that.
C: Fine. Just give me any icecream.
D: OK (scooping out Sweet Cream aka Vanilla). Would you like this in a waffle cone or bowl?
C: I had a waffle cone in Austin once.
D: Um...
C: It was made by a Swiss man. You know (leaning in and whispering), Swiss people make the best waffles.
D: Oh...interesting. Do you want one of these?
C: Were they made by a Swiss person?
D: No, but they're made fresh every day.
C: In Austin?
D: No, right back here.
C: No, I don't want one then.
D: OK (handing over bowl of icecream and bowl of brownies and ringing him up).
C: (throwing out icecream) Where is my milk? (paying)
D: We don't sell milk.
C: Well this isn't a very good breakfast (commences eating bowl full of brownies and leaves store).
Oy vey.
In other news, I saw a kid mowing the lawn the other day on a really steep hill. This isn't uncommon since Motown is basically one big hill. The kid is goofing off w/ his friend, and lets go of the mower and it mows itself right down the hill and into the road. Having lost his balance b/c the lawnmower was propping him up, the kid then falls all the way down the hill, too.
I shouldn't have laughed.
But I did.
Anyway, I've only been working there for about three and a half weeks, but I've already met my fair share of weird, weird people. The weirdest people are the ones who come in during the day. I don't know why. Maybe it's b/c they are lonely and need someone to talk to. Maybe it's b/c they shouldn't be eating so much sugar before noon. Whatever it is, the bottom line is that these people are...nuts...to say the least. Perfect example is the following conversation which I had with a male customer this past week, about 10 minutes after the store had opened at 11am:
Dawn: (alone in the front of the store) Hi, welcome to Cold Stone Creamery. Have you ever been to a Cold Stone before? (we have to say this)
Customer: (about 5'1", 400lbs., wearing an Indiana Jones hat, a blue and gold WVU jacket, and turquoise pants...carrying a walking stick...and speaking with a very thick Mediterranean accent...with a lisp) I have eaten icecream.
D: Cool...well have you ever had OUR icecream?
C: Can you bake me some cookies?
D: No, I'm sorry, we don't bake cookies here. You can get cookie dough mixed in w/ your icecream though.
C: I like milk with my cookies. Can I buy a gallon of milk?
D: I'm sorry but we don't sell milk here. There's a little luncheonette right there on the corner (pointing) that might be able to sell you some milk.
C: You don't understand, I didn't eat breakfast.
D: I'm sorry...all we sell is icecream. But there's lots of restaurants around here where you can get--
C: (cutting me off) What about those brownies?
D: We can mix those brownies into your icecream, sir.
C: I want to buy that tray of brownies.
D: Well, if you buy icecream I can just put the brownies on the side. The first one will be free (our policy is first "mix-in" free), and then they'll be 59 cents a piece after that.
C: Fine. Just give me any icecream.
D: OK (scooping out Sweet Cream aka Vanilla). Would you like this in a waffle cone or bowl?
C: I had a waffle cone in Austin once.
D: Um...
C: It was made by a Swiss man. You know (leaning in and whispering), Swiss people make the best waffles.
D: Oh...interesting. Do you want one of these?
C: Were they made by a Swiss person?
D: No, but they're made fresh every day.
C: In Austin?
D: No, right back here.
C: No, I don't want one then.
D: OK (handing over bowl of icecream and bowl of brownies and ringing him up).
C: (throwing out icecream) Where is my milk? (paying)
D: We don't sell milk.
C: Well this isn't a very good breakfast (commences eating bowl full of brownies and leaves store).
Oy vey.
In other news, I saw a kid mowing the lawn the other day on a really steep hill. This isn't uncommon since Motown is basically one big hill. The kid is goofing off w/ his friend, and lets go of the mower and it mows itself right down the hill and into the road. Having lost his balance b/c the lawnmower was propping him up, the kid then falls all the way down the hill, too.
I shouldn't have laughed.
But I did.